Too Bible-y. How about this:

Vote Bojack. No retreat, no retainer.

^^What tommyspoon said.

Reminds me, heard a cut from the new Bruce Springsteen release yesterday and it was good.

Having been the victim of the napalm-styled, aggressive, confrontational and needlessly hostile and personal tactics of your opponent, let me be the first to volunteer. How about a focus group of families torn apart and rendered broke by needless litigation based upon fire-stoking?

This is all in fun, yes, but I can't imagine living in a city in which Stahancky wins any race, even a pretend mayoral one. It's just too damn demoralizing. Mobilize your forces and let's go!

(steps away from the keyboard, takes medication...)

This might be rough fight. Jody has been practicing for nearly three decades and has developed a large and nebulous web of business contacts and clients that love her to call upon. On top of that, she has a highly mobilized crew of employees spread out across multiple offices.

I think that instead of risking a demoralizing defeat, we should all just sleep in when voting starts. Enjoy the extra rest. We'll be happier in the long run.

It's Attorney-Dome baby! Two lawyers enter, one lawyer leaves!

50% of the divorcees in this town will be voting for Jack along with all of her former partners.

Actually CBB, many of her former clients would be voting for Jack as well. And all of her former staff and associates. Get out the vote!

I've been voting against her all along so far. I don't approve of divorce lawyers who use the types of tactics she is known for.

And, no, I haven't been divorced in this town so I have no personal vendetta.

Talea:

If you stacked the horror stories one on top of the other of families that have been needlessly eviscerated by her "practice style," it would go to the moon and back. Anyone who has less than 100 friends on Facebook wasn't getting those votes the old-fashioned way. I mean come on, Thomas Lauderdale v. The Sleestak of divorce law in Portland?

I look forward to taking her out of the race at this point. God knows she is loving the publicity, but it is time for her to be shown the door.

I'm going door-to-door for you, Jack! Now we need a Jack PAC!

Jack might have a shot of winning the next round.

Jody is a successful and tenacious attorney that's been out there for thirty years fighting for her clients and getting real results.

And Jack is an ivory-tower egghead professor that blogs on the internet. And he doesn't even love Oregon enough to have been born here!

Fortunately, this is Portland and that might give him an edge with some folks.

"Duke Remington's" IP address:

network:Auth-Area:70.102.0.0/15
network:Class-Name:network
network:ID:70-102-2-240/29-NET
network:Network-Name:70-102-2-240/29-NET
network:IP-Network:70.102.2.240/29
network:Org-Name;I:STAHANCYK, KENT & HOOK PC - MPLS HUB
network:Street-Address:808 SW 15TH AVE
network:City:PORTLAND
network:State:OR
network:Postal-Code:97205
network:Country-Code:US

Too funny.

Paging Gordon Howard to the courtesy phone.

Sir, I don't know what all those fancy numbers and words are supposed to mean. I 'spose you're trying to dazzle me with your tax law mathemagic!

All I know is that Jody is the right candidate for this pretend-election!

Why am I seeing eyelashes batting?

Ah the choices...
Two lawyers..
Societies lesser regarded profession.
But there is a saving grace.
One destroys the hopes and dreams of unsuspecting couple's futures..
The other spends countless hours scouring the arcane code of revenue to better instruct those young minds who will help the unfortunate citizen preyed upon by the agents of the King..
So it boils down to a choice between one who does good.. and the other who does evil..

Let's see...Jody Stahancyk...I just did some opposition research watching her on AM Northwest. She seems pleasant enough, but I have no doubt she'd remove your testicles with a rusty machete if it came down to it. Okay, here's my advice.

First, lose the God comment. The religious card should only be played after patriotism fails.

Second, deal from your strengths. I would combine your love of song titles with the fact that this divorce lawyer has made a living off of the tears and misery of others.

My suggestion for a campaign motto:

"It's Jody's Turn to Cry."

Duke Remington. What it means is you commented from her Portland Office. Most likely you are employed by her, and your snarky comments show you to be a simple hack. Not too bright and could use some education on the internets. If her subordinates are as clever as you.... Game ON!

I think Duke was embarrassed that he was outed by Jack!

He?

Duke is likely Kyle, who was posting comments for Stahancyk on WW for the past week or so. He gets very snippy when you key into the fact he is an admin with no education past high school working for a lawyer ho prides herself on being hated.

Perhaps nom de chat? (Nom de chien is possible.)

Good catch "Stay a work mom." I went back and read Kyle's Posts at WW. Same smug childish tone. Reading his interests, I'm sure he is a Mayor Creepy fan! Jody must be proud!

Hey Duke,

Lighten up, Francis.

(Stripes reference for those less nerdy than I.)

It's a exercise in fun. You know, fun?

What's with the name calling?

"lawyer ho...?"

I know it's a typo but how fitting!

If you can get all FORMER employees of that firm to vote for you (they number in the thousands), you will win in a landslide, Jack.

Former employees, former partners, former neighbors, former clients...yes, he would win in a landslide. The problem is, if she can engineer a way to win against Lauderdale (and I do mean "engineer" in the software or technical sense), she clearly has figured out how to game the system.

It's bad enough when the real politicians are liars and crooks who manipulate the numbers to steal elections (I'm looking at you, George W.), but if we can't count on the sanctity of a pretend election anymore, I give up. It's time to move to Canada, where the fauxlections are pristine.

"Doesn't even love Oregon enough to have been born here"???

I'll tell you what, Duke d-----t - Remington, I challenge you to find anyone who loves Oregon more than I do, and I wasn't born here.

I plan interventions for her every day. I wrIng my hands, kiss her to sleep every night. Any time I cross one of her bridges my eyes still fill with tears. Whenever a crazy weather event happens, and the sun, sleet, and hail fail to completely a rainbow over one of her rivers, I weep. We are in the promised land, if it just weren't for the politics and the people.

"fails to completely drown out a rainbow", that is.

How about Jack starts a "who loves Oregon the most" poetry competition, and see if the opposition can even utter a faint reply.