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Sunday, April 8, 2012

Jody, friend of animals, if she wins

Our opponent is starting to flash money around in the WW Mayoral Madness contest. If she wins this weekend, she says, she'll give $500 to Metro for the elephants at the zoo.

What will she give if she loses? Nothing?

Please take five minutes, go here, and vote for us. This is supposed to be a fun thing. We'll do something nice for charity even if we don't prevail. But we won't try to buy your vote.

Comments (30)

Jack, the word on the street is that she is using to generate votes at 70 cents per. That's right, she is actually buying the pretend election. At least if you lose, you will know that you had real people who like and respect you casting their vote, not some pimpled basement-dwellers whose main source of income comes in dribs and drabs from clicking away on the Internet.

If you win, you win. If you lose, you win. Happy Easter to you, your family, and your campaign staff.

Hmm, her willingness to publicly pay off the elephants at the zoo suggests something, that she paid them off to take a dive...

My guess is that she gives a donation to the zoo either way, because you never see people take cash off the table once a pledge like that is made. Saying that upfront might not motivate voters though.

The real carrot being dangled is that if she goes on to the final four, she might double down on the donation or something to build on the incentive. Maybe let some seals from the zoo follow her around as a job shadow program?

If you had $500 hot, hypothetical bucks in your hand, who would you pick to donate to?

Count me in on the donation! Win or loose!

This is so typical of this wretched divorce lawyer. Jack presented photographic evidence of an elephant strongly resembling Packy mounting a rhino. So what does Jody do? She takes one side over the other based on where she feels she can win. But what about the poor rhino that Packy mounted? Where's the compassion for her (or him).

Then on top of that she screws her own client with an insulting little tip of 500 bucks, from what has to be one of the richer lawyers around.

No, don't be fooled Portland. She's using Packy like she uses everybody else in her cruel world, a world where money is measured in tears and misery. Don't buy into this repulsive and deeply cynical gesture.

This is not some noble act. This is an insult to the Animal Kingdom and dare I mention - on this Easter Sunday - the Kingdom of God. That's right. I've looked at the numbers and it's time to play the religious card.

Remember, it was Jack who used the quote, ""What God has joined together, let no one put asunder." That has to mean something.

Plus he's very patriotic or at least I can't remember him specifically being grumpy about America. Okay, there were a few times, but he's always been very patriotic about certain parts of America that lie in New Jersey, and as we all now that is the Garden State, and gardens are good green, sustainable things Portlanders love.......And that's what this election is really about. Not Jack. Not Jody. This election is about the voters and the future of Portland we leave for the children, but mainly the voters - especially ones with computer access.

Look, rhinos have feelings too, and if you've ever had days where you felt like a little lost rhino with an elephant on your back, you'll vote for Jack.

Jack understands how this little lost rhino feels with this big elephant pounding away, and if he didn't before, he's certainly finding out during this round of the elections.

Jack, I'm really disappointed that you won't buy my (so far 6) votes.

If its good enough for Blagoyavitch (?sp?) regarding the US Senate seat from Illinois formerly held by Barack Obama, its goopd enough for Portland! :=)

Why is Willamette Week scrubbing and refusing to publish comments? This thing is rigged, my friend. They have been up her rear end for years.

"Jack understands how this little lost rhino feels with this big elephant pounding away, and if he didn't before, he's certainly finding out during this round of the elections.

Rolling on floor laughing. That whole comment wins some kind of prize, a grand one.

Jack should bring Bill M. on board as his press secretary. Better get to him before Jody buys him off.

Years ago I stopped paying attention to the issues, and began to base my votes only on looks. I seem to come much closer in picking the right candidate if I pay no attention to anything written about them, or said by them. So this is a really tough call for me Jack. I have seen your photo and compared it to the one you posted of Jody. I have to say that although you are a good looking guy, she seems to appear much kinder. Do you have any campaign photos you would be willing to share? You know, the type other candidates have of them eeking out that great big fake smile. One that you would be willing to share with the rest if us? It could really make all the difference :)

By the way, Happy Easter all.


And here I thought all barristers received training in subornation of perjury through proper use of Photoshop. (Or GIMP for Linux types.)

Well, Jody can't be all bad: at least her evil minions didn't use Comic Sans.

Come on folks. Those elephants are expensive to maintain.

May I say - on behalf of politicians anywhere - that no offer is too small to at least entertain. If you think Packy has big ears, trust me, I am ready to listen to anything.

Jody could go from being a wretched divorce attorney to a magnificent visionary with one quick call.

Why are people offending her instead of noticing how creative she is? Jody will donate either way - it's a pledge. This race is supposed to be for fun!

Jack is behind!!! VOTE everyone!!!

While $500 is a generous gift and not to be denigrated, should the question for voters not be which candidate is more likely to prevail over venal zoo management, in league with Metro -- which profits mightily from the exhibition of miserably caged animals -- to have mitigating renovations begun and completed with monies voted for such work in 2008?

In the liars' banquet that passes for city governance, voters must always be aware of the feints and fakes of perfidious pledges. The surfeit of governmental and bureaucratic authorities has so often served as excuse for broken promises that voters need look hard at the characters of their candidates.


It's not the elephants who are expensive to maintain, it's the gadflies. And Jody and her favorite clients certainly qualify.

I imagine poor Packy, munching away on some carrots up at the zoo on this gorgeous Sunday, thinking, "how the hell did this two-ton monster get away from using my name and likeness in her campaign?"

Packy then tries to call his lawyer to initiate a lawsuit against Stahancyk, but he can't dial the phone with his big trunk, and he soon gives up.

I happen to know a horrible story about Jody and her cat Nacho, who I assume is long dead now due to the "care" he received from her. Let's just say she treats her pets with the same amount of care and respect that she treats the party on the other side of a divorce. Which is to say, none.

A vote for animal lover Stahancyk is a vote for a neglectful and lazy pet owner.

A panoply of perfidious pledges for a pachyderm? Pshaw!

Yikes. CATS FOR JACK!! At my house, that quite a few extra votes. And Jack needs every one of them as things currently stand.

Twas a lawyer with a reputation
as a giver of verbal castration.
Often needlessly rude
and patently crude
a loud foul-mouthed bar aberration.

She focused her life on divorce
(for only the wealthy, of course)
always stirring the pot
if it needed or not
with never an ounce of remorse.

Then one day there came an election!
The good people would make a selection
it was mayor by bracket
a real numbers racket
and she launched like a fungal infection.

Not content to compete here unaided
or see issues properly debated
she ran this race mayoral
via methods immoral
and the process was thus desecrated.

Can a lawyer be sanctioned for cheating
and via sock puppets defeating
others who didn't pay
for their votes on this day
can someone please call me a meeting?

When it's all over and this has long passed
and some karma has found her at last
She will look in the mirror
and see what she sees there
and she will proclaim herself unsurpassed.

Dear Expensive to Maintain

The other day a commenter complained that Prof Bogdanski's opponent referred to her as "expensive to maintain". My sarcastic comment referred to that and not to your conjecture.

I know, that commenter was me. I was just riffing on your comment by further pointing out how ridiculous her calling me that was since she represents someone who is indeed expensive to maintain, and I am not. Hence the gadfly comment. I love sarcasm, trust me!

Perhaps the rhino asked to be mounted?

Dear Expensive
The cat thing threw me. Thanks for explaining your comment.

Dang Robin D. Anger managmement course perhaps?

Everyone on this site was pulling for Jack and seeing that the election was unfairly approached by your divorce lawyer makes people frustrated. Anger management is not an issue for me, but thank you for the suggestion. It's nice to know you care.

I like your name. It rather suits you. In fact, I'm pretty sure we've met. A few times, right? We are practically related.

I might be just a little too young and choose my relationships too carefully to ever need a divorce. I mean - who would want to divorce a Princess? Bo-Jack is a cool guy. And I bet Ms. Robin aims at being a good mom foremost. I'd hate to see both go down like a Titanic and become a pathetic memory. Of course I care! As far as meeting - where would that have occurred? I'd be honored :)

FYI - once Duane Sorenson was out, I was done voting for anyone

Speaking of the Titanic -- so recently introduced interjectionally -- and felines opting out:

"Crew often had at least one cat on board each ship to help keep the rat population down. It's said that there was a cat with young kittens aboard the sea trials of the Titanic but when the ship arrived in Southampton from Belfast, she was seen disembarking. Up and down the gangplank she went, retrieving one kitten at a time that she deposited on the dock. She and the kittens quickly disappeared and it was later said that [she] had some sort of premonition that the voyage wasn't going to be a good one."

The temptation is great to draw from this story application to the contest underway until 8:00PM today, if precedent can be trusted; but it is best to beware of apocryphal tales that commence "It's said that...."


I agree wholeheartedly that you will certainly never go through a divorce.

Princess Kyle - don't you limit my options like that - and publicly!

Gardiner - woah! What are you doing wasting your time on here? Maybe WW could hire you as a movie columnist! You just showed some "brains." and I don't get impressed this easily. Hit me up - I've got some media contacts. You might have a bright future ahead of you. We just have to work on ya a bit. Cheer! Have a blissful day!


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