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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on February 6, 2012 9:48 AM. The previous post in this blog was Where the Iberdrola money's really going. The next post in this blog is Your tax dollars at work: supporting graffiti. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.



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Monday, February 6, 2012

Join the Stenchy's Witnesses

Here's a funny one: The City of Portland is recruiting neighborhood groups to go around proselytizing for the new ritual of dumping food slop in the yard debris bin. Canvassers will earn $2 per conversation, and 50 cents per flyer left on the porch if the resident isn't home. They're not being sent out to record complaints, mind you -- just to sing the praises. If they show up at our place, the $2 conversation is going to be quite brief.

Comments (35)

have any of the mayoral candidates been asked about the new slop program, or offered comments on this brilliant, new, progressive, forward-thinking scam?

Is it possible those who resist may need a few weeks at camp "get it together " or pay a fine ? Do the brownshirts have a " turn your neighbor in " phone number yet?

How the heck does the city have so much money for this green washing crap, but doesn't have enough money for an adequate amount of police on the street or enough money to keep open much needed community centers? If one of these dolts comes on my porch, they will have the contents of my slop bucket thrown at them!

This seems like a pretty ... um ... "interesting" way to skirt wage and hour laws ...

I had to love the introductory paragraph of OPB's piece on composting a few weeks back. It was as if the writer could not dream of somebody being opposed to it, saying something like "Please leave your comments below. If you were a skeptic about the mandatory composting, have you changed your mind and are now enjoying the concept?"

No, OPB dullard! I hated the idea when I was I forced to participate in the pilot program, and I still hate it!

I hear city is getting complaints. Looks like if their program isn't wanted, the city response is to figure out a way to make sure it will be!

Is there any sense left, money for this, but no money to have garbage picked up in parks?
Cynical I know, but is this an avenue to have organizations raise money and in return, these same organizations will be asked eventually to take care of parks and garbage?...all for the good of the community...while the big dollars go elsewhere!!

Garage Wine,
Quite the thought.
Less money for jobs to pay park employees, for example,
if they can get the volunteers to do it for free or less.
City can then have a special "Award" evening for the best volunteers of our city.
How about best volunteer for "Block Captain" to keep an eye on the rest of us?

$2.00 Conversation. How else do you expect PSU Graduate students earn their pot and coffee money?

But will they wear clean, neat, pressed, suits and ties?

The new question that should guide your every action: WWSD? Amen brother!

So, 50 cents per brochure left behind, or 50 cents * the whole stack for leaving them behind in one dumpster.

Hey look, I just got a nice chunk of walking around money, and it took me all of 5 minutes!

Jack, you are going about it wrong.
If they show up your door make sure you get your $2 worth.
No sense it letting that tax money go to waste.


I hope to make this the longest possible conversation possible. If I can keep them on my porch for a full day so much the better. I can't wait for them to come to my door!

Can't wait to get my issue of "The Watchbucket"! Gimme that new time religion, gimme that new tim religion....

WWSD--what would stenchy do/what would sam do/what would satan do??

Maybe the last two are the same embodiment?

How are my taxdollars paying for this going to be verified that a "conversation" occurred or the flyers are delivered?

Oh, I get it, another bureaucracy will be formed to "monitor" or do "sampling" to verify. Money is no object.

My GUESS is they'll use the structure that has already been bribed and co-opted...the neighborhood associations.

There is an unholy alliance whereby the City funds each neighborhood coalition (which may have 12-20 neighborhoods) which funds a staff and office. In return, the neighborhood coalition writes a newsletter and deflects many of the everyday nagging that the REAL POLITICIANS hate to deal with.

A true cynic would expect the city to dangle the dough in front of the coalition boards...tell them the results they expect, and tell them the city will fund a "crime prevention specialist" next year when city council gets the results they want. A few years ago the city insisted the newsletter accept advertising as a condition of city funding.

There's no shortage of buttinskis in my neighborhood that would LOVE to tell everyone else on the block how to sort garbage...and everything else.

Smells of desperation. Mine just plain smells. Won't be putting it out during summer, that's for sure, nor taking freezer space for it as they suggest to those who don't want to be making pruno every week.

I'm gonna ask them to empty my bucket into the yard debris can seeing that that they are here and all.....

Just came back from a walk....
several blocks away a pick up today...
walked by a yard debris can and the stench was horrible as we walked by,
evidently what had been put in from the slop pail or.......
Wait until summer!

Clinamen, as a veteran of the composting pilot program/idiocy, I can say that odor was never the worst of my problems. Rats came to the neighborhood though, in synch with implementation of the program. "You're just not doing it right!" was the typical retort of local green propagandists, which is bullsh*t; I myself maintain a clean, orderly yard/household, but I cannot control what neighbors do, hence the rats...why didn't the geniuses who devised this program ever consider how hard it is to harmonize the yard-debris habits of entire neighborhoods?

Oh, and one of my neighbors says the amount of maggots he accumulates in his yard debris now is enough to make him vomit. And he's not exactly someone with a "delicate" constitution. On my side of the street, I have shoveled MANY a dead rat out of my shed since 2010.

So if there's one thing I can pass on to the non-pilot crowd, it's this: Summertime odor is not going to be a big deal. But you will want to remain hyper-vigilant about certain pests (e.g. rats, maggots). I propose that we all hire fleets of kitty-cats to exterminate the rodents and then send the Whiskas invoices to our worthless mayor.


You speak the absolute truth. Everything about the neighborhood coalition is designed to allow for small groups of narcissistic control freaks the opportunity to assert their self-proclaimed higher sense of enlightenment on arbitrarily designated "neighborhoods." Complete and total bullsh*t.

The city uses these neighborhood associations at times to accomplish goals that are in violation of city codes. City employees would never be able to get away with such intrusions and disregard for private property. But the neighborhood associations - acting as agents of the city - represent themselves as being sanctioned by the city, and most residents wrongly ASSUME their actions are somehow in compliance with the law.

Neighborhood associations are empowered to AT THE MOST write a letter to the City. But in the meantime they do their best to intimidate residents and neighbors and set one upon the other. The city, then acts on those letters as if the sentiments expressed truly represent a "neighborhood's" opinion. They do not. Many residents make the incorrect ASSUMPTION that neighborhood associations are like homeowner's associations, and are a legislative body. They are not.

I realize this rant is a little off topic, but in fact, I think neighborhood associations tie in well with rancid garbage.

The flyer for this was published in our neighborhood associations February newspaper. I may have to attend the meeting tomorrow night to voice my opinion that we should have to part of assisting with the survey.
The poster who mentioned how the city tries to strong arm associations to run the city propaganda is correct. They attempted that with ours a few years ago by claiming since they gave a pittance we had to publish what they provided.
When our editor pointed out that our paper was funded by advertisements and donations and the city money had no part in publishing it the city person blustered and insisted.
We then pointed out that since our paper is small, at that time only 4 to 6 pages total inclusion of the city product could swap any stories we ran.
Then we told the city to go pound sand.. They got the point.

NO.. not "to"

...Oh, and one of my neighbors says the amount of maggots he accumulates in his yard debris now is enough to make him vomit. And he's not exactly someone with a "delicate" constitution. On my side of the street, I have shoveled MANY a dead rat out of my shed since 2010.

Gross, just gross!
Wonder how many more vet bills will be incurred as a result of maggots and who knows what else? It won't be good to have children even playing outside with all of this.
Oops! I forgot, yards are verboten in the plans.
The pressure is on. Just keep filling that slop pail!
Where in heavens name is the Multnomah Health Department??

I'm with Tank and Dean: Jack, you are going about it wrong.
If they show up your door make sure you get your $2 worth.
No sense it letting that tax money go to waste.
Posted by tankfixer | February 6, 2012 12:49 PM


I hope to make this the longest possible conversation possible. If I can keep them on my porch for a full day so much the better. I can't wait for them to come to my door!

This could be more fun than when the Witnesses came around!

Hey, they're both religions....

Our next new publication from the city recycling program, a Maggotzine.

I'm not a lawyer...never even played one on TV.

But it seems there is something a little contradictory about the city publication notice that says, "Volunteers earn $2.00 per conversation or $.50 per piece left behind for their organizations."

Volunteers? Earn? ($ 2 per conversation)?

For you lawyers: Is that legal speak for, "You're an independent contractor responsible for everything and if anything bad happens you're on your own"? Does that hold water?

It would be interesting to know whether the program
provides insurance coverage, should a volunteer be hurt?

Iced Borscht : Kitties aren't really ratters, they're mousers. Rats are too large for the average cat. For rats, you really need a specialist dog like a terrier or a dachshund. Either of which will leave you with poop to clean up, but that's probably a small price to pay for the vector-control service.

My cats have gotten rats in the past. One brought his catch in the house. This rat problem was from a broken sewer. We all knew where it was. Coyotes have also shown up to deal with rats and squirrels, and hawks to add to the mix. I get my blueberries now courtesy of hawks scaring starlings, without a human handler, although there is at least one human handler working for the blueberry industry. Sawdust or shredded newspaper will dry up compost enough to make it now smell. I know some of you will not want to take the time to do this, but junk mail could also serve, and you should be shredding that, I guess.

Shredded paper can dry out wet stuff enough that it will not stink. (My inner English teacher reminded me that socks stink and persons smell, as in sniff.)

As I had to re-post, I will add that worms like paper. I have not bothered to get the special kind, but native worms eat it also, as do slugs. I have not had the heart to kill slugs or hire geese, so I still have them.

Alice, there is actually a team of feral cats at PGE Park (or whatever it's called now) that keep the rodents at bay. The park has a feeding station set up for them and treats them as employees/exterminators (or at least they did as recently as 2004). I toured the feeding station-area with the grounds crew back then and I came away amazed at the great work the cats do.

When they started the Test Program 18+ months ago they sent around a cute girl to point out that composting reduced "green house gas" and I reminded her that it doesn't matter where our compost decomposes, in Lents, North Plains, or in my back yard. I always think about that conversation when they show the steaming piles at Recology.

All this rat and maggot talk,
I ask again where is our Multnomah Health Department and were they consulted on this matter? They certainly should have been. I can't believe that a county health department would allow this.
Could it be that Jeff Cogen, head of the County is just too tight with the city, as he came right out of Saltzman's office for his political career?

Anyone reading this who is from the Multnomah Health Department?
What do you think about all this?


As a lawyer/blogger, I get
to be a member of:

In Vino Veritas

Lange, Pinot Gris 2015
Kiona, Lemberger 2014
Willamette Valley, Pinot Gris 2015
Aix, Rosé de Provence 2016
Marchigüe, Cabernet 2013
Inazío Irruzola, Getariako Txakolina Rosé 2015
Maso Canali, Pinot Grigio 2015
Campo Viejo, Rioja Reserva 2011
Kirkland, Côtes de Provence Rosé 2016
Cantele, Salice Salentino Reserva 2013
Whispering Angel, Côtes de Provence Rosé 2013
Avissi, Prosecco
Cleto Charli, Lambrusco di Sorbara Secco, Vecchia Modena
Pique Poul, Rosé 2016
Edmunds St. John, Bone-Jolly Rosé 2016
Stoller, Pinot Noir Rosé 2016
Chehalem, Inox Chardonnay 2015
The Four Graces, Pinot Gris 2015
Gascón, Colosal Red 2013
Cardwell Hill, Pinot Gris 2015
L'Ecole No. 41, Merlot 2013
Della Terra, Anonymus
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Wraith, Cabernet, Eidolon Estate 2012
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Tomassi, Valpolicella, Rafaél, 2014
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Helix, Pomatia Red Blend 2013
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Villa Antinori, Toscana 2013
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Shatter, Grenache, Maury 2012
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Primarius, Pinot Gris 2015
Januik, Merlot 2013
Napa Cellars, Cabernet 2013
J. Bookwalter, Protagonist 2012
LAN, Rioja Edicion Limitada 2011
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 2009
Denada Cellars, Cabernet, Maipo Valley 2014
Marchigüe, Cabernet, Colchagua Valley 2013
Oberon, Cabernet 2014
Hedges, Red Mountain 2012
Balboa, Rose of Grenache 2015
Ontañón, Rioja Reserva 2015
Three Horse Ranch, Pinot Gris 2014
Archery Summit, Vireton Pinot Gris 2014
Nelms Road, Merlot 2013
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Pinot Gris 2014
Conn Creek, Cabernet, Napa 2012
Conn Creek, Cabernet, Napa 2013
Villa Maria, Sauvignon Blanc 2015
G3, Cabernet 2013
Chateau Smith, Cabernet, Washington State 2014
Abacela, Vintner's Blend #16
Willamette Valley, Rose of Pinot Noir, Whole Clusters 2015
Albero, Bobal Rose 2015
Ca' del Baio Barbaresco Valgrande 2012
Goodfellow, Reserve Pinot Gris, Clover 2014
Lugana, San Benedetto 2014
Wente, Cabernet, Charles Wetmore 2011
La Espera, Cabernet 2011
King Estate, Pinot Gris 2015
Adelsheim, Pinot Gris 2015
Trader Joe's, Pinot Gris, Willamette Valley 2015
La Vite Lucente, Toscana Red 2013
St. Francis, Cabernet, Sonoma 2013
Kendall-Jackson, Pinot Noir, California 2013
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Napa Valley 2013
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Abbot's Table, Columbia Valley 2014
Intrinsic, Cabernet 2014
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Layer Cake, Shiraz 2013
Desert Wind, Ruah 2011
WillaKenzie, Pinot Gris 2014
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The Occasional Book

Marc Maron - Waiting for the Punch
Phil Stanford - Rose City Vice
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Peter Carey - True History of the Kelly Gang
Suzanne Collins - The Hunger Games
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Philip Roth - The Plot Against America
Norm Macdonald - Based on a True Story
Christopher Buckley - Boomsday
Ryan Holiday - The Obstacle is the Way
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Richard Adams - Watership Down
Claire Vaye Watkins - Gold Fame Citrus
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Anthony Doerr - All the Light We Cannot See
James Joyce - Dubliners
Cheryl Strayed - Torch
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David Halberstam - Summer of '49
Norman Mailer - The Naked and the Dead
Maria Dermoȗt - The Ten Thousand Things
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Markus Zusak - The Book Thief
Christopher Buckley - Thank You for Smoking
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Joseph Conrad - Heart of Darkness
Bill Bryson - A Short History of Nearly Everything
Cheryl Strayed - Tiny Beautiful Things
Sara Varon - Bake Sale
Stephen King - 11/22/63
Paul Goldstein - Errors and Omissions
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Neil Young - Waging Heavy Peace
Mark Bego - Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul (2012 ed.)
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Kathryn Lance - Pandora's Genes
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Jack London - The House of Pride, and Other Tales of Hawaii
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Colum McCann - Let the Great World Spin
Niccolò Machiavelli - The Prince
Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird
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Sharon Creech - Walk Two Moons
Keith Richards - Life
F. Sionil Jose - Dusk
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Justin Halpern - S#*t My Dad Says
Mark Herrmann - The Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law
Barry Glassner - The Gospel of Food
Phil Stanford - The Peyton-Allan Files
Jesse Katz - The Opposite Field
Evelyn Waugh - Brideshead Revisited
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
David Sedaris - Holidays on Ice
Donald Miller - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
Mitch Albom - Have a Little Faith
C.S. Lewis - The Magician's Nephew
F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby
William Shakespeare - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Ivan Doig - Bucking the Sun
Penda Diakité - I Lost My Tooth in Africa
Grace Lin - The Year of the Rat
Oscar Hijuelos - Mr. Ives' Christmas
Madeline L'Engle - A Wrinkle in Time
Steven Hart - The Last Three Miles
David Sedaris - Me Talk Pretty One Day
Karen Armstrong - The Spiral Staircase
Charles Larson - The Portland Murders
Adrian Wojnarowski - The Miracle of St. Anthony
William H. Colby - Long Goodbye
Steven D. Stark - Meet the Beatles
Phil Stanford - Portland Confidential
Rick Moody - Garden State
Jonathan Schwartz - All in Good Time
David Sedaris - Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Anthony Holden - Big Deal
Robert J. Spitzer - The Spirit of Leadership
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Jeff Noon - Vurt

Road Work

Miles run year to date: 5
At this date last year: 3
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In 2013: 257
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