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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on October 26, 2011 9:10 PM. The previous post in this blog was A pale ale -- a *very* pale ale. The next post in this blog is Earl the Pearl goes after the farmers. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.



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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Where's Fred Armisen?

Somebody at Portland City Hall actually thinks that the average person is going to do this:

Keep garbage in your freezer? Wrap vegetable pulp in newspapers before throwing it away? Pay money for special bucket liners? We just don't see it happening on a large scale.

What we do expect, though, is lots of official fakery about how many people actually go along with the program. It will probably be a lot like the bicycle commuter count -- incredible on its face, but the bureaucrats will defend the padded estimates to the end. Because they know best how we should all live.

Comments (57)

You haven't lived till you have enjoyed the aroma of chicken guts mixed with wet newspaper and what's that, the lid doesn't seal?

Oh I forgot, we haven't gotten to killing and butcher our own chickens yet, have we. Who wants to help make that video?

Fred's already on it -

Any recycling program that comes with a care and feeding video is probably a bit too much. Yikes. beat me to it. Good for you!

Can't we just get rid of these people? All this nonsense is SO exhausting.

I notice the bucket's snaps don't work in the video either.

I trust you all have the official apron, too. Or is it a bib?

Some people will decry my statements as extreme, but I hope you enjoy the communists you voted for Portland.

They now have the power to choose how you will suffer and this is the beginning.

Think it's not dangerous (meaning a threat to public health)?

Can't wait for the neighbors' trash full of diapers sitting out there for 2 weeks on end.

And do they not see the time, efforts and resources involved (refrigeration freon, paper and plastic liners, soap, water, recycling crews+fuel and vehicles) ... far, far outpace any savings from a pound of freakin scraps?!?

Even better, the Food Scraps Superkids! Where do I get those Halloween costumes? My kids will be the coolest Comrades on the block come Monday night.

Since we are to put it in the garden recycle bin, why not:
1. put plastic & cans in the recycle bin
2. everything else in the garden compost bin?


Some Mafioso is making money off the compost. I swear that's got to be what this is all about.

Follow the money, yes that is true.

But also, just choose the stupidest path, and there you will find Portland.

Portland deserves stupid, they earned it.

I'll bet everything I own in life that two weeks after Sam Adams gets his slop bucket it never gets used again....

I felt like I was watching the "Anal-retentive Chef" from SNL.

"lots of official fakery about how many people actually go along with the program."

Sorry, need to justify the 50 people we hired to run this program.

Meanwhile, potholes deepen, Sellwood Bridge weakens and schools suck.

Why did that video remind me of this??

Once again East Portland is neglected. We haven't gotten our slop buckets in the Gateway area yet.

But we aren't so neglected that they've forgotten to reduce our trash service to every other week.

Are we supposed to disable our disposals now? Will there be disposal turn in weekend somewhere? How much will we be paid?

Hey! A use for the Oregonain.

I may start "reading" the Portland Mercury.

What I expect is that all of the above will soon be made compulsory within the city.

Like paper instead of plastic.

Keeps the folks distracted with minutiae while whatever is left in the city coffers gets funneled toward their favored patrons and friends.

But that's "progressive" government in practice. It doesn't just invite corruption. It IS corruption. Deep-rooted and malignant.

And Portland is a terminal case.

Have a nice day.

I know it sounds like a pain, but my wife and I had to do this when we lived in Korea. I am a very lazy person, but I got used to it.

What if I don't want to do what they have to do in Korea?

"What if I don't want to do what they have to do in Korea?"

But that can't be; all good, upstanding, socially aware people want to do what they do in Korea.

If you're not good, upstanding, and socially aware then you simply need to be... educated... (cue appropriate music).

We are giving it a go for now. So far the real winners are the fruit flies...

I would also like to know who is making bucks off our slop.

Besides not wanting to deal with old banana peals like they do in Korea,I also don't want to have to take a crap sitting on a toilet seat lid thats laying on the ground/dirt like they do in Korea either....

Noted that in the website link of Eco-district Jack had on Monday, Oct. 24th one of the Educational Sessions listed:

Behavior and Community Action: Sustainability Epidemics: Fostering Behavior Change and Sustainable Lifestyles in EcoDistricts

What is all this slops talk? I thought this cute li'l pail was to take to Whole Foods so i didn't have to use a paper sack. Would make a great container for bringing brownies to the next neighborhood potluck. Cheers!

Besides not wanting to deal with old banana peals like they do in Korea,I also don't want to have to take a crap sitting on a toilet seat lid thats laying on the ground/dirt like they do in Korea either....

What the hell are you talking about? They use western-style toilets in South Korea. In fact, they're often higher tech than ours.

If you don't want to compost, don't, but what's so terrible about it? What's wrong with trying to improve how people behave? It used to be even the concept of basic recycling was foreign.

"I know it sounds like a pain, but my wife and I had to do this when we lived in Korea. I am a very lazy person, but I got used to it."

When did you live in North Korea?

What's wrong with 'trying to improve how people behave'?

When you get to high school Aaron, they'll have you take history 101.

Your question will be answered.

Define "improvement"!

Somebody got paid to make a video showing how "to care for a kitchen pail?" Jeezus. I'd never have thought to wash it with soap and water when it stinks. Thanks for the tip.

I've learned a number of things about communism and the nations that tried it out. There's a lot more to it than being encouraged to do stuff you're not really into doing.

Sounds like a few people on this thread need to be re-educated. I believe that Sam will be opening a re-education camp for all of you shortly. I believe he has been jotting notes into a little red book. Once you understand the greatness of his vision you will accept it and be happy.

It's all just a ploy to get PDX'ers to subscribe to the O for waste wrappers.

I've been composting for a while, so i'm not too bent out of shape over the whole thing. Having trash pick up every other week is going to be a serious hardship for a lot of people, so I understand the anger there.

But I'm not really sure how this rises to the level of injustice some seem to be giving it. Did people get this mad when recycling programs were implemented in Portland? I grew up in the country, so I have no idea what the reaction was.

Heck, don't even use the bucket. Just throw everything in the green bin. I assume that most of you don't leave chicken bones in your kitchen trash until collection day. If you're like me, you take the particularly smelly stuff straight to the outside garbage can. Only difference is now you put it in the big green bin, which is probably stored right next to your trash can. With all the idiotic things this city does, I'm finding it hard to comprehend why something that will take no more than 5 minutes out of your day is worth carping about.

What's wrong with trying to improve how people behave?

Behavior change, all for the good of the planet, right? How about some behavior change sessions for Wall Street and Corporations whose main focus is on profit?

How much is all this attention on recycling by individuals going to count in the scheme of our planet being abused?

They have got us busy as little bees while the major polluters are carrying on!!

Chuck, It might be just 5 minutes out of my day for slop bucket etiquette, but I've calculated that CoP is now taking 5 hours and 33 minutes out of my day for all their behavior modifications.

Like raking leaves to the curb, circling 10 blocks to go 1 block with all the bike, no turn, mass transit non-sense....gosh, I don't even want to go on, that will just give me a medical condition causing me lost time.

Citizens are getting fed up and have no more time to give. The 5 minutes are endless here.

Aaron, all I can go by about Korean toilets(or lack there of) is my American neighbors,of Korean descent, who visit Korea yearly to see relatives.You should see/hear the teenagers describe sitting on the ground on a toilet seat having to do their business. Is all of Korea like this,of course not.Now, as I've told my wife, I'll improve when I'm good and ready, not when you or the mayor tell me to damit.

I'm with you there clinamen. I'd certainly love to see some rewiring in the brains of some of our best and brightest in the finance and business worlds. Portlanders composting isn't going to save the world. But I think this is a small move in the right direction.

In the end it depends on exactly how much they can eek out of our slop, and if they can sustain high compliance. I'm hoping it works out. Wouldn't it be nice if it turns out we get away with putting less crap in the landfills and recover value from stuff that used to be just garbage? It'd be nice if we could just compost in our backyards but very few people do this. The city's solution seems more convenient to me. I have a hunch we might even see the volume of garbage decrease by more than the volume of food composted with the less-often pickups.

Others here seem like they might actually be more happy if it didn't work out. That's a strange mindset. People spend more time crying bloody murder online about it than they would have spent composting. Why cause yourself so much stress and waste so much time?

I'm finding it hard to comprehend why something that will take no more than 5 minutes out of your day is worth carping about.

5 minutes a day = 2.5 hours per month.
Assume cleaning the bucket will take longer.

Carping may be due to adding up all the minutes and it does amount to our life being chipped away in bits and pieces to accommodate this or that.

How many minutes more a day due to traffic congestion? ...and it can go into hours by waiting for a bus to transfer and using the slow light rail around here.

Taking this to the bitter end, will our sleep be disrupted if the "smart meter" determines that "your" household must get up in the wee hours to use your washing machine?

The population is being pushed into cities and more control over our lives.
Others can add to the list.

"What if I don't want to do what they have to do in Korea?"

I don't know... can we have their unemployment rate (3.2%)? I'd like that.

I wish to live my life with as little interference by governmental authority as possible. This includes, the still voluntary acts of composting, recycling and choosing my methods of transportation.
Fortunately I live outside the city of Portland, so we are not totally controlled by the absurd and nit picking ways of the Portland mayor and his lame bunch of lackeys, hangers on and idiot creatives.
However we do still own property in the city so we are paying taxes to support all this utter nonsense which really pi$$es me off!
I hope the composting is an utter failure, that the rats multiply and the plague descends on the city. Maybe we will then get some better government in the event of a real emergency!

"Did people get this mad when recycling programs were implemented in Portland?"

Doesn't involve keeping a bucket of rotting food in your kitchen, or a reduction in trash service.

Since the non-functional 'latch' for the bucket seems to be universal, and is a trivial design element, they must be designed and made to not function, as a further humiliation.

Oh, that reduction in trash service - what happens when people get frustrated with less service and start throwing diapers and other things not belonging in the yard debris containers and that ends up in compost?

Thought of this today, excellent business coming up for rat exterminators. We will need to be careful as well of all other animals should some people start to put poison out in yards. What good is coming out of this that outweighs the problems, citizens feel good doing their part to save the planet while others are making a profit polluting?

Still think Adams is using this example as another item to pad his resume. Bet he took this bucket along on his last trip to illustrate how much he can accomplish for a community.

Will add:
Mr. Pack Rat, Inc.
Guaranteed Pack Rat Elimination & Prevention
Without Dangerous Poison Baits
Tucson, AZ (520) 529-9191

Freeze my garbage? I don't think so. Rubbermaid containers and freezer space are at a premium in my house for food that we are actually going to eat, not the parts of it we discard!

Also, there is no way I'm throwing loose food slime into my pristine green yard debris bin. So I guess we'll be buying those nifty compostable plastic bags, oh, joy...But if we're doing that, might as well put them directly in the green bin and skip over the non-latching diarrhea colored plastic gift from Sam. (Seriously! a friend told me she was outside when the man delivering buckets came by, and he handed it to her saying, "A present from Sam Adams"! You cannot make this stuff up!)

Let's not forget, not only are your tax dollars paying for sporadic garbage pickup, but also for distribution of these nifty buckets, the marketing campaign on how to use them, and the followup marketing campaign on how successful the whole darn thing is. But that's not also get to pay the salary of the personnel in the marketing and pr department, the enforcement division, and eventually the PERS on all of those folks.

We're not being 'encouraged' aaron - we are being 'forced' - to have our costs doubled at the same time!

Some of us in our neighborhood are thinking we'll do our own garbage route like how we did it when I was growing up down the valley. It would be cheaper and we'd have weekly service for all "garbage".

Neighbors contributed "gas money" and a little tip. My Dad was head of the detail for decades. This should satisfy Sam's desires to go back to basics and help neighborliness.

Aaron -
My niece just got back from Korea after teaching english there for a year. It was a nice visit and a stark reminder of how good we have it here in the USA. Given the choice of living in Korea or the USA, at least for me (and my niece), the choice is very obivous. If I wanted to live like the Koreans, I'd move to Korea. And like 'leaving' said, you're not being encouraged, you are being forced.

As for Doris's comment regarding the person saying "A present from Sam Adams" - I'd have replied, "Return to sender, gift not wanted" - wonder how that would have played out.

I'm surprised that nobody has mentioned that the tax dollars of renters are also being used to fund this program . . . a program that they are excluded from. I don't know what the percentage of renters to homeowners is in the Portland metropolitan area but I'd bet it is significant.

So, those living in apartments, condos and duplexes of more than 4 units are excluded from this program. I confirmed this morning that my neighbor who lives in condos on the corner near to our apartments did not receive the buckets yet while all of the neighbors with homes have. They have a private garbage service so they are not effected by the bi-weekly garbage pickup. We, however, live in a 37-unit garden apartment complex that is also not effected and doesn't get bins so I have the following two questions for the city:

1) If this is a genuine attempt to promote recycling and composting why does the program marginalize what is may be as much as half of the citizens in Portland and their organic waste? This marginalization reduces it to a mere gesture.


2) Do those who don't get the compost buckets get reduced garbage pickup as well? If that's true (and we'll know because I guess it begins on Halloween . . . a trick, not a treat) we'll soon have overflowing dumpsters.

Result: Nothing appears to have changed for those who don't own property (or even those who own property but who live in condos with more than 4 other units).

So would someone help me out, because I feel like I am not getting this? If I use a private company (not city owned--I think it's called Wilber's or Willie's or something like that) to pick up my trash, my service is reducing to 1x every 2 weeks?

In Portland can one cancel garbage service?
hall it yourself to the dump or where ever

Consider variations on this solution:

"An Ohio woman frustrated by the mix-up of the trash pick-up schedule after the Labor Day holiday decided to haul her own garbage — right into her mayor's office."

"[Mayor] Malone accepted the trash and says he will take it to the city's waste disposal department."


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Penda Diakité - I Lost My Tooth in Africa
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