This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on October 4, 2011 8:44 AM.
The previous post in this blog was Spare change?.
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Here's an instant Portland classic: The city's police bureau is going to lease some motorized unicycles for its officers to ride around on.
Now, there's obvious comedy potential in this news -- the anarchists will find out what it's like to get Tased by a Shriner -- but the terms of the business deal are even more amusing. It's a no-bid arrangement in which the city will "try out" the equipment for $1, and then if it decides to go forward... well, you know the rest. The company that's been making the backroom deals with the city will no doubt get a nice no-bid contract that will run a long time and make it a lot of money.
Just wondering: Does Ellis McCoy have a twin in the police department?
How is this an improvement on a bicycle? Ironic this should happen in Portland, especially following the decision to subsidize bike rentals for the City Council's out of town planner friends.
"The police bureau may be one of the bureaus testing them but at this point, no specific application for police use has been determined," Simpson said.
Imagine that - no obvious application for an electric unicycle in police work.
Okay, the writers for "Portlandia" can give up. Really. All they need to do is tape actual city events, and it'll be the "Real People" for the new century. So long as Sam gets to pose in front of them, and then lie about how people stop him at the airport to ask about the show, he'll be ecstatic.
(Actually, the show Portland seems to be copying is the old Nickelodeon animated series "Invader Zim". "We turned all of Mars into a giant vehicle, causing our people to go extinct in the process."
Kind of ironic for a city that prides itself on its huge bicycling support...and yet Portland Police refuses to use bikes in favor of expensive contraptions like motorized unicycles...with all of the obesity that we have, get your legs moving and start pedaling, cops!
I have a hard time believing the tax or ratepayer has only committed 2$ to this. It's another startup with a shiny new idea for pols to waste our money on.
Wow. This is soooo cool. It's iconic. City fathers can go to conferences with their heads held high. They will be the envyof the nation's urban bureaucrats. I'm stoked.
Erik H- you must not get into downtown very often as there are PPB bike police patrolling downtown all the time. I also noticed they utilized some bikes for patrolling around N and NE Portland over the summer as well. I do agree though that these unicycle things are pretty useless. They sort of remind me of the worthless segway phase many went through.
Charamba, Douro 2008
Horse Heaven Hills, Cabernet 2010
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills Pinot Grigio 2011
Avignonesi, Montepulciano 2004
Lorelle, Willamette Valley Pinot Noir 2011
Villa Antinori, Toscana 2007
Mercedes Eguren, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Lorelle, Columbia Valley Cabernet 2011
Purple Moon, Merlot 2011
Purple Moon, Chardonnnay 2011
Abacela, Vintner's Blend No. 12
Opula Red Blend 2010
Liberte, Pinot Noir 2010
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Indian Wells Red Blend 2010
Woodbridge, Chardonnay 2011
King Estate, Pinot Noir 2011
Famille Perrin, Cotes du Rhone Villages 2010
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14 Hands, Hot to Trot White Blend
Familia Bianchi, Malbec 2009
Terrapin Cellars, Pinot Gris 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2009
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Ravenswood, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2010
Waterbrook, Reserve Merlot 2009
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills, Pinot Grigio 2011
Tarantas, Rose
Chateau Lajarre, Bordeaux 2009
La Vielle Ferme, Rose 2011
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Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir 2009
Lello, Douro Tinto 2009
Quinson Fils, Cotes de Provence Rose 2011
Anindor, Pinot Gris 2010
Buenas Ondas, Syrah Rose 2010
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14 Hands, Pinot Gris 2011
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Penelope Sanchez, Garnacha Syrah 2010
Canoe Ridge, Merlot 2007
Atalaya do Mar, Godello 2010
Vega Montan, Mencia
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir, Marlborough 2009
Portuga, Rose 2011
Revelation, Chardonnay, Pays d'Oc 2010
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 2005
Monte Alto, Tinto Reserva 2005
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Cabernet, Indian Wells 2009
Espiral, Vinho Rose
Vin-Koru, Pinot Gris 2011
14 Hands, Hot to Trot Red 2009
Rodney Strong, Cabernet, Sonoma 2009
Abacela, Vintner's Blend #11
Portuga, White 2010
La Bourgeoisie, Red 2009
Januik, Red 2009
Three Rivers, River's Red 2008
Kirkland, Alexander Valley Merlot 2008
Muga, Rioja Rose 2010
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2009
Mauro Molino, Barbera d'Alba 2009
Garda Chiaretto Rose
Columbia Crest, Two Vines Vineyard 10 White
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Garda, Classico Chiaretto Rose
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Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Cabernet 2008
Kirkland, Pinot Grigio 2010
Trader Joe's Coastal Syrah 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Merlot 2008
Trader Joe's Coastal Chardonnay 2009
Vieux Papes Red
Domaine de l'Aujardiere, Chardonnay 2009
Santa Rita, Cabernet, Medalla Real 2007
Penfold's, Koonunga Hill Shiraz Cabernet 2008
Guild, Red, Lot #02 2008
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Laforet, Burgogne Chardonnay 2009
Columbia Winery, Merlot 2007
Bonterra, Cabernet 2008
Elk Cove, Pinot Gris 2009
Maquis Lien 2006
Scott Paul, Pinot Noir, Le Paulee 2007
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Mark Bego - Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul (2012 ed.)
Jenny Lawson - Let's Pretend This Never Happened
J.D. Salinger - Franny and Zooey
Charles Dickens - A Christmas Carol
Timothy Egan - The Big Burn
Deborah Eisenberg - Transactions in a Foreign Currency
Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - Slaughterhouse Five
Kathryn Lance - Pandora's Genes
Cheryl Strayed - Wild
Fyodor Dostoyevsky - The Brothers Karamazov
Jack London - The House of Pride, and Other Tales of Hawaii
Jack Walker - The Extraordinary Rendition of Vincent Dellamaria
Colum McCann - Let the Great World Spin
Niccolò Machiavelli - The Prince
Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird
Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus - The Nanny Diaries
Brian Selznick - The Invention of Hugo Cabret
Sharon Creech - Walk Two Moons
Keith Richards - Life
F. Sionil Jose - Dusk
Natalie Babbitt - Tuck Everlasting
Justin Halpern - S#*t My Dad Says
Mark Herrmann - The Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law
Barry Glassner - The Gospel of Food
Phil Stanford - The Peyton-Allan Files
Jesse Katz - The Opposite Field
Evelyn Waugh - Brideshead Revisited
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
David Sedaris - Holidays on Ice
Donald Miller - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
Mitch Albom - Have a Little Faith
C.S. Lewis - The Magician's Nephew
F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby
William Shakespeare - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Ivan Doig - Bucking the Sun
Penda Diakité - I Lost My Tooth in Africa
Grace Lin - The Year of the Rat
Oscar Hijuelos - Mr. Ives' Christmas
Madeline L'Engle - A Wrinkle in Time
Steven Hart - The Last Three Miles
David Sedaris - Me Talk Pretty One Day
Karen Armstrong - The Spiral Staircase
Charles Larson - The Portland Murders
Adrian Wojnarowski - The Miracle of St. Anthony
William H. Colby - Long Goodbye
Steven D. Stark - Meet the Beatles
Phil Stanford - Portland Confidential
Rick Moody - Garden State
Jonathan Schwartz - All in Good Time
David Sedaris - Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Anthony Holden - Big Deal
Robert J. Spitzer - The Spirit of Leadership
James McManus - Positively Fifth Street
Jeff Noon - Vurt
Road Work
Miles run year to date: 21
At this date last year: 52
Total run in 2012: 129
In 2011: 113
In 2010: 125
In 2009: 67
In 2008: 28
In 2007: 113
In 2006: 100
In 2005: 149
In 2004: 204
In 2003: 269
Comments (17)
There's really no room to put a bird on it.
Posted by Mister Tee | October 4, 2011 8:56 AM
How is this an improvement on a bicycle? Ironic this should happen in Portland, especially following the decision to subsidize bike rentals for the City Council's out of town planner friends.
Posted by observer | October 4, 2011 9:16 AM
"The police bureau may be one of the bureaus testing them but at this point, no specific application for police use has been determined," Simpson said.
Imagine that - no obvious application for an electric unicycle in police work.
This city is a becoming a very, very bad joke.
Posted by dg | October 4, 2011 9:31 AM
Maybe the Popo will juggle birds on their unicycles....
Posted by LucsAdvo | October 4, 2011 9:57 AM
Okay, the writers for "Portlandia" can give up. Really. All they need to do is tape actual city events, and it'll be the "Real People" for the new century. So long as Sam gets to pose in front of them, and then lie about how people stop him at the airport to ask about the show, he'll be ecstatic.
(Actually, the show Portland seems to be copying is the old Nickelodeon animated series "Invader Zim". "We turned all of Mars into a giant vehicle, causing our people to go extinct in the process."
"Why would you do that?"
"Because it's REALLY COOL!")
Posted by Texas Triffid Ranch | October 4, 2011 10:04 AM
"This city is becoming a very, very bad joke."
----
Becoming????
New here?
Keep Portland Weird.
Keep Portland Stupid.
Portland, keeping the status quo.
Posted by Harry | October 4, 2011 10:13 AM
You know what I've NEVER seen in Portland?
A bicycle cop.
Kind of ironic for a city that prides itself on its huge bicycling support...and yet Portland Police refuses to use bikes in favor of expensive contraptions like motorized unicycles...with all of the obesity that we have, get your legs moving and start pedaling, cops!
Posted by Erik H. | October 4, 2011 10:19 AM
Erik, now, be nice. You know it's really hard to shoot unarmed civvies when you have to keep one hand on the handlebars.
Posted by Texas Triffid Ranch | October 4, 2011 10:37 AM
I have a hard time believing the tax or ratepayer has only committed 2$ to this. It's another startup with a shiny new idea for pols to waste our money on.
Posted by Mr. Grumpy | October 4, 2011 10:49 AM
On the contrary, I've seen cops on bicycles in the park blocks.
And I would expect to see them Thursday for the Obama campaign event....sorry, I meant that Occupy Portland business.
Posted by The Other Jimbo | October 4, 2011 11:00 AM
Wow. This is soooo cool. It's iconic. City fathers can go to conferences with their heads held high. They will be the envyof the nation's urban bureaucrats. I'm stoked.
Posted by Allan L. | October 4, 2011 11:02 AM
Clown faces and 3 Stooges style falls... can't get the images out of my mind!
Posted by EB | October 4, 2011 11:22 AM
While I've never been one to shy away from public servant criticism, just had to see the unicycle in action. Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojv8vIRvf6A
Posted by genop | October 4, 2011 1:16 PM
To be fair, the city probably also should offer some incentives for companies to develop new pogo stick technologies.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xODqR4YRXeY&feature=related
Posted by PanchoPDX | October 4, 2011 1:55 PM
Erik H- you must not get into downtown very often as there are PPB bike police patrolling downtown all the time. I also noticed they utilized some bikes for patrolling around N and NE Portland over the summer as well. I do agree though that these unicycle things are pretty useless. They sort of remind me of the worthless segway phase many went through.
Posted by NoPoGuy | October 4, 2011 2:50 PM
The same unicycles were actually used in a Portlandia episode.
Life does imitate "art" I guess.
Posted by Portland Native | October 4, 2011 3:14 PM
I live downtown and see bicycle cops daily.
Posted by Aaron | October 4, 2011 5:03 PM