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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on October 4, 2011 8:44 AM. The previous post in this blog was Spare change?. The next post in this blog is What? No bird?. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Coming soon to a Starbucks parking lot near you

Here's an instant Portland classic: The city's police bureau is going to lease some motorized unicycles for its officers to ride around on.

Now, there's obvious comedy potential in this news -- the anarchists will find out what it's like to get Tased by a Shriner -- but the terms of the business deal are even more amusing. It's a no-bid arrangement in which the city will "try out" the equipment for $1, and then if it decides to go forward... well, you know the rest. The company that's been making the backroom deals with the city will no doubt get a nice no-bid contract that will run a long time and make it a lot of money.

Just wondering: Does Ellis McCoy have a twin in the police department?

Comments (17)

There's really no room to put a bird on it.

How is this an improvement on a bicycle? Ironic this should happen in Portland, especially following the decision to subsidize bike rentals for the City Council's out of town planner friends.

"The police bureau may be one of the bureaus testing them but at this point, no specific application for police use has been determined," Simpson said.

Imagine that - no obvious application for an electric unicycle in police work.

This city is a becoming a very, very bad joke.

Maybe the Popo will juggle birds on their unicycles....

Okay, the writers for "Portlandia" can give up. Really. All they need to do is tape actual city events, and it'll be the "Real People" for the new century. So long as Sam gets to pose in front of them, and then lie about how people stop him at the airport to ask about the show, he'll be ecstatic.

(Actually, the show Portland seems to be copying is the old Nickelodeon animated series "Invader Zim". "We turned all of Mars into a giant vehicle, causing our people to go extinct in the process."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because it's REALLY COOL!")

"This city is becoming a very, very bad joke."
----

Becoming????

New here?

Keep Portland Weird.

Keep Portland Stupid.

Portland, keeping the status quo.

You know what I've NEVER seen in Portland?

A bicycle cop.

Kind of ironic for a city that prides itself on its huge bicycling support...and yet Portland Police refuses to use bikes in favor of expensive contraptions like motorized unicycles...with all of the obesity that we have, get your legs moving and start pedaling, cops!

Erik, now, be nice. You know it's really hard to shoot unarmed civvies when you have to keep one hand on the handlebars.

I have a hard time believing the tax or ratepayer has only committed 2$ to this. It's another startup with a shiny new idea for pols to waste our money on.

On the contrary, I've seen cops on bicycles in the park blocks.

And I would expect to see them Thursday for the Obama campaign event....sorry, I meant that Occupy Portland business.

Wow. This is soooo cool. It's iconic. City fathers can go to conferences with their heads held high. They will be the envyof the nation's urban bureaucrats. I'm stoked.

Clown faces and 3 Stooges style falls... can't get the images out of my mind!

While I've never been one to shy away from public servant criticism, just had to see the unicycle in action. Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojv8vIRvf6A

To be fair, the city probably also should offer some incentives for companies to develop new pogo stick technologies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xODqR4YRXeY&feature=related

Erik H- you must not get into downtown very often as there are PPB bike police patrolling downtown all the time. I also noticed they utilized some bikes for patrolling around N and NE Portland over the summer as well. I do agree though that these unicycle things are pretty useless. They sort of remind me of the worthless segway phase many went through.

The same unicycles were actually used in a Portlandia episode.
Life does imitate "art" I guess.

I live downtown and see bicycle cops daily.


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