We got another howler in the mail the other day from the City of Portland transportation folks:
There's so much to goof on in this six-page, multi-color flyer, but one item jumped right out as our instant favorite:
We thought about this for a minute -- about our fearless commissioner in charge (currently vacationing on the taxpayer's dime in Germany), and his new director of transportation (currently vacationing on the taxpayer's dime in Spain). We sensed that we were being had. So we drove down to City Hall and asked to see the real transportation bureau pyramid -- the one that they follow themselves, as opposed to the one they foist on the unsuspecting taxpayers. They tried to give us the runaround, but eventually, we got the document under the public records law.
It's just as we suspected:
The Real Portland Transportation Bureau Pyramid
Comments (27)
I'm so glad I have the city government to fix me!
When I think about all the people who I want to keep me on the right track in life(family, friends, place of worship, colleagues) on the very top of the list is "city bureacrats". I hope Portland reaches the point where some know-it-all 25 year old urban planner is personally following me around all day with a clipboard telling me everything I'm doing wrong.
Year after year, Portland City Council (except this one) has set one of their strategic goals as maintaining infrastructure. But how can one get reelected without new shiny stuff to point to and put your name on.
It's really a travesty the way some elected officials use your tax dollars.
"When you’re hit over the head, the instrument could be a “lead” pipe. But when it’s a verb, “lead” is the present and “led” is the past tense."
-Paul Brians, Common Errors in English Usage
Come on. As Andrew johnson is supposed to have said (sead?), "It's a poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word." Standard usage is for sticklers and chumps.
If you really want to have fun with a transit or transportation "expert", ask them how to get between two places, in which one of the destinations is located on a bus line but in areas with no safe bike route.
I've tried it. You would not believe that I have been told to take MAX to destinations that there is no possible way to use MAX to the destination (or that MAX is so far out of the way it's laughable), and then when you tell the "expert" that MAX doesn't go there, they then question why you want/need to go there.
I believe that the very inclusion of "Fix Streets" as though it were any part of the Transportation Department's thinking (or spending) qualifies as an "April Fool."
RDinpdx:
It's not your neighborhood... it belongs to planners in City Hall. They just let you live there as long as you keep forking over your money and doing as you're told.
I think an effective (or "affective" for some)campaign strategy for an ingenious Mayoral candidate would be to place little red triangular signs on wire strands like they flag underground utility lines in or adjacent to all the potholes around town. The flags would have "Sam's Hole". The clever candidate would then have a media blitz being the "Common Sense Mayor" candidate and point out the "Sam's Hole" blitz. "Back to Basics".
Oh, come on, people. Is encouraging bicycling that bad? The comments here put it on the same level as the unemployment rate or the nuclear disaster in Japan. Please: it's a mailer.
This brochure surely has a cost to taxpayers, but it also encourages an activity that will improve individual and community health, thereby averting taxpayer dollars in health care costs and increasing social capital.
Rather than seeing this as an assault of the nanny state, why not appreciate the efforts of our local government to encourage a healthier and more community-driven society? It's something to be proud about, not feel controlled by.
My daughter walks 30 minutes twice a day just to get to a MAX stop to get out to MHCC. She's the perfect Portlander! (Not by choice...the nearest bus gives her a 20-minute wait in Troutdale, which isn't much fun in the dark and windy early mornings.)
It isn't just about the bicycling.
It is about the whole picture as in the pyramid above:
Tell other people how to live,Placate bicyclists,Streetcars for the Condo boys,etc.
Quite frankly, it is not healthy to live in a community where citizens are treated the way they have been here for years.
Calling for "citizen input" yet controlling that and if need be ignoring it.
Moving people away from single family homes with yards so that children do not have a yard to in play doesn't help with obesity.
Calling our city green and sustainable but in words only, how green is it to propose turning Hayden Island into an asphalt parking lot?
Enough for now.
One can devise so many other graphics linking bad heath to bad habits that are actually true that this graphic is disingenuous to the extreme. I can just as easily show that the auto imparts freedom to explore physical exercises that greatly increase the body's heath, without invoking trips to gyms using virtual mountains and hiking paths in it's stead. Not to mention the lift to the spirit engaging in such endeavors. And yes, the bikers do this also. Notice all the bike racks on cars?
Oh, I suppose the use of virtual reality while using the gym is the answer to that.
/s
Erik H. wrote: If you really want to have fun with a transit or transportation "expert", ask them how to get between two places, in which one of the destinations is located on a bus line but in areas with no safe bike route.
I've tried it. You would not believe that I have been told to take MAX to destinations that there is no possible way to use MAX to the destination (or that MAX is so far out of the way it's laughable), and then when you tell the "expert" that MAX doesn't go there, they then question why you want/need to go there.
Jack, the "real" pyramid reminds me of a great quote by Eric Hoffer:
"A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people's business."
Charamba, Douro 2008
Horse Heaven Hills, Cabernet 2010
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills Pinot Grigio 2011
Avignonesi, Montepulciano 2004
Lorelle, Willamette Valley Pinot Noir 2011
Villa Antinori, Toscana 2007
Mercedes Eguren, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Lorelle, Columbia Valley Cabernet 2011
Purple Moon, Merlot 2011
Purple Moon, Chardonnnay 2011
Abacela, Vintner's Blend No. 12
Opula Red Blend 2010
Liberte, Pinot Noir 2010
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Indian Wells Red Blend 2010
Woodbridge, Chardonnay 2011
King Estate, Pinot Noir 2011
Famille Perrin, Cotes du Rhone Villages 2010
Columbia Crest, Les Chevaux Red 2010
14 Hands, Hot to Trot White Blend
Familia Bianchi, Malbec 2009
Terrapin Cellars, Pinot Gris 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2009
Campo Viejo, Rioja, Termpranillo 2010
Ravenswood, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2010
Waterbrook, Reserve Merlot 2009
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills, Pinot Grigio 2011
Tarantas, Rose
Chateau Lajarre, Bordeaux 2009
La Vielle Ferme, Rose 2011
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio 2011
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir 2009
Lello, Douro Tinto 2009
Quinson Fils, Cotes de Provence Rose 2011
Anindor, Pinot Gris 2010
Buenas Ondas, Syrah Rose 2010
Les Fiefs d'Anglars, Malbec 2009
14 Hands, Pinot Gris 2011
Conundrum 2012
Condes de Albarei, Albariño 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2007
Penelope Sanchez, Garnacha Syrah 2010
Canoe Ridge, Merlot 2007
Atalaya do Mar, Godello 2010
Vega Montan, Mencia
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir, Marlborough 2009
Portuga, Rose 2011
Revelation, Chardonnay, Pays d'Oc 2010
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 2005
Monte Alto, Tinto Reserva 2005
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Cabernet, Indian Wells 2009
Espiral, Vinho Rose
Vin-Koru, Pinot Gris 2011
14 Hands, Hot to Trot Red 2009
Rodney Strong, Cabernet, Sonoma 2009
Abacela, Vintner's Blend #11
Portuga, White 2010
La Bourgeoisie, Red 2009
Januik, Red 2009
Three Rivers, River's Red 2008
Kirkland, Alexander Valley Merlot 2008
Muga, Rioja Rose 2010
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2009
Mauro Molino, Barbera d'Alba 2009
Garda Chiaretto Rose
Columbia Crest, Two Vines Vineyard 10 White
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Pinot Gris, Columbia Valley 2009
L'Hortus, Rose de Saignee 2010
Maculan, Pino & Toi 2008
McKinley Springs, Bombing Range Red 2008
Trader Joe's Pinot Gris 2009
Montes Alpha, Cabernet 2007
Gran Sasso, Sangiovese, Terre di Chieti 2009
Garda, Classico Chiaretto Rose
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 1999
Picos del Montgo, Tempranillo 2008
Chateau de Montmirail, Vacqueyras 2008
La Granja 360, Syrah 2009
Montgras, Carmenere Reserva 2009
Lange, Pinot Gris 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Cabernet 2008
Kirkland, Pinot Grigio 2010
Trader Joe's Coastal Syrah 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Merlot 2008
Trader Joe's Coastal Chardonnay 2009
Vieux Papes Red
Domaine de l'Aujardiere, Chardonnay 2009
Santa Rita, Cabernet, Medalla Real 2007
Penfold's, Koonunga Hill Shiraz Cabernet 2008
Guild, Red, Lot #02 2008
Dievole, Dievolino Sangiovese 2008
Laforet, Burgogne Chardonnay 2009
Columbia Winery, Merlot 2007
Bonterra, Cabernet 2008
Elk Cove, Pinot Gris 2009
Maquis Lien 2006
Scott Paul, Pinot Noir, Le Paulee 2007
The Occasional Book
Neil Young - Waging Heavy Peace
Mark Bego - Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul (2012 ed.)
Jenny Lawson - Let's Pretend This Never Happened
J.D. Salinger - Franny and Zooey
Charles Dickens - A Christmas Carol
Timothy Egan - The Big Burn
Deborah Eisenberg - Transactions in a Foreign Currency
Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - Slaughterhouse Five
Kathryn Lance - Pandora's Genes
Cheryl Strayed - Wild
Fyodor Dostoyevsky - The Brothers Karamazov
Jack London - The House of Pride, and Other Tales of Hawaii
Jack Walker - The Extraordinary Rendition of Vincent Dellamaria
Colum McCann - Let the Great World Spin
Niccolò Machiavelli - The Prince
Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird
Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus - The Nanny Diaries
Brian Selznick - The Invention of Hugo Cabret
Sharon Creech - Walk Two Moons
Keith Richards - Life
F. Sionil Jose - Dusk
Natalie Babbitt - Tuck Everlasting
Justin Halpern - S#*t My Dad Says
Mark Herrmann - The Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law
Barry Glassner - The Gospel of Food
Phil Stanford - The Peyton-Allan Files
Jesse Katz - The Opposite Field
Evelyn Waugh - Brideshead Revisited
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
David Sedaris - Holidays on Ice
Donald Miller - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
Mitch Albom - Have a Little Faith
C.S. Lewis - The Magician's Nephew
F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby
William Shakespeare - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Ivan Doig - Bucking the Sun
Penda Diakité - I Lost My Tooth in Africa
Grace Lin - The Year of the Rat
Oscar Hijuelos - Mr. Ives' Christmas
Madeline L'Engle - A Wrinkle in Time
Steven Hart - The Last Three Miles
David Sedaris - Me Talk Pretty One Day
Karen Armstrong - The Spiral Staircase
Charles Larson - The Portland Murders
Adrian Wojnarowski - The Miracle of St. Anthony
William H. Colby - Long Goodbye
Steven D. Stark - Meet the Beatles
Phil Stanford - Portland Confidential
Rick Moody - Garden State
Jonathan Schwartz - All in Good Time
David Sedaris - Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Anthony Holden - Big Deal
Robert J. Spitzer - The Spirit of Leadership
James McManus - Positively Fifth Street
Jeff Noon - Vurt
Road Work
Miles run year to date: 21
At this date last year: 52
Total run in 2012: 129
In 2011: 113
In 2010: 125
In 2009: 67
In 2008: 28
In 2007: 113
In 2006: 100
In 2005: 149
In 2004: 204
In 2003: 269
Comments (27)
I'm so glad I have the city government to fix me!
When I think about all the people who I want to keep me on the right track in life(family, friends, place of worship, colleagues) on the very top of the list is "city bureacrats". I hope Portland reaches the point where some know-it-all 25 year old urban planner is personally following me around all day with a clipboard telling me everything I'm doing wrong.
Posted by Snards | April 1, 2011 8:02 AM
Snards, I thought you lived in Vancouver?
Posted by John Rettig | April 1, 2011 8:17 AM
How many pot holes could have been filled for the cost of that brochure?
Probably not that many, but it would have been a start.
Posted by Portland Native | April 1, 2011 8:22 AM
"And we've all heard how the lack of physical activity has lead to the rise...".
Yep, these're some smart folks, all right.
Posted by Max | April 1, 2011 8:29 AM
Not yet, John. Convincing my wife to move will be the trick.
Posted by Snards | April 1, 2011 9:01 AM
Year after year, Portland City Council (except this one) has set one of their strategic goals as maintaining infrastructure. But how can one get reelected without new shiny stuff to point to and put your name on.
It's really a travesty the way some elected officials use your tax dollars.
Posted by Mary Volm | April 1, 2011 9:16 AM
"When you’re hit over the head, the instrument could be a “lead” pipe. But when it’s a verb, “lead” is the present and “led” is the past tense."
-Paul Brians, Common Errors in English Usage
Pretty fitting clarification in my opinion.
Posted by SKA | April 1, 2011 9:21 AM
If the food pyramid is a challenge for lots of people, this one is only for true believers.
Posted by Don | April 1, 2011 9:29 AM
Common Errors in English Usage
Come on. As Andrew johnson is supposed to have said (sead?), "It's a poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word." Standard usage is for sticklers and chumps.
Posted by Allan L. | April 1, 2011 10:05 AM
Get Ready To Travel Smart!
Next flyer: Get Ready To Live Smart!
Oh, I guess we already had that done to us.
Smart Growth, Smart Trips, Smart Meters,....
How about a survey now - how do you like living in a Smart City?
Optional: Comments on how to become Smarter.
Posted by clinamen | April 1, 2011 11:13 AM
Smart growth wrecked my neighborhood.
Posted by RDinpdx | April 1, 2011 11:38 AM
Cool! I'm at the top of the pyramid for once...
Posted by ralph woods | April 1, 2011 12:10 PM
I think there is a typo in the flyer. It should read:
Get Ready to Travel Smart Ass!
Posted by ralph woods | April 1, 2011 12:12 PM
If you really want to have fun with a transit or transportation "expert", ask them how to get between two places, in which one of the destinations is located on a bus line but in areas with no safe bike route.
I've tried it. You would not believe that I have been told to take MAX to destinations that there is no possible way to use MAX to the destination (or that MAX is so far out of the way it's laughable), and then when you tell the "expert" that MAX doesn't go there, they then question why you want/need to go there.
Posted by Erik H. | April 1, 2011 12:24 PM
New Name: The City That Smarts You Over.
Next stop: The City That Smacks You Over.
Posted by Starbuck | April 1, 2011 12:31 PM
How to become Smarter?
Get Smart about who pushes Smart.
List names of the Smart promoters running for office.
Posted by RDinpdx | April 1, 2011 12:44 PM
I believe that the very inclusion of "Fix Streets" as though it were any part of the Transportation Department's thinking (or spending) qualifies as an "April Fool."
Posted by John Fairplay | April 1, 2011 1:30 PM
RDinpdx:
It's not your neighborhood... it belongs to planners in City Hall. They just let you live there as long as you keep forking over your money and doing as you're told.
Posted by Mr. Grumpy | April 1, 2011 2:31 PM
Forking over is quite right. They are forking over all of us one way or another!
Posted by Starbuck | April 1, 2011 3:34 PM
Keep Portland Pervy!
Posted by Bark Munster | April 1, 2011 4:50 PM
I think an effective (or "affective" for some)campaign strategy for an ingenious Mayoral candidate would be to place little red triangular signs on wire strands like they flag underground utility lines in or adjacent to all the potholes around town. The flags would have "Sam's Hole". The clever candidate would then have a media blitz being the "Common Sense Mayor" candidate and point out the "Sam's Hole" blitz. "Back to Basics".
Posted by lw | April 1, 2011 8:31 PM
Oh, come on, people. Is encouraging bicycling that bad? The comments here put it on the same level as the unemployment rate or the nuclear disaster in Japan. Please: it's a mailer.
This brochure surely has a cost to taxpayers, but it also encourages an activity that will improve individual and community health, thereby averting taxpayer dollars in health care costs and increasing social capital.
Rather than seeing this as an assault of the nanny state, why not appreciate the efforts of our local government to encourage a healthier and more community-driven society? It's something to be proud about, not feel controlled by.
Posted by This is Actually Great | April 2, 2011 12:40 AM
My daughter walks 30 minutes twice a day just to get to a MAX stop to get out to MHCC. She's the perfect Portlander! (Not by choice...the nearest bus gives her a 20-minute wait in Troutdale, which isn't much fun in the dark and windy early mornings.)
Posted by Michelle | April 2, 2011 7:54 AM
This is Actually Great,
It isn't just about the bicycling.
It is about the whole picture as in the pyramid above:
Tell other people how to live,Placate bicyclists,Streetcars for the Condo boys,etc.
Quite frankly, it is not healthy to live in a community where citizens are treated the way they have been here for years.
Calling for "citizen input" yet controlling that and if need be ignoring it.
Moving people away from single family homes with yards so that children do not have a yard to in play doesn't help with obesity.
Calling our city green and sustainable but in words only, how green is it to propose turning Hayden Island into an asphalt parking lot?
Enough for now.
Posted by clinamen | April 2, 2011 8:56 AM
Figures don't lie so liars figure.
One can devise so many other graphics linking bad heath to bad habits that are actually true that this graphic is disingenuous to the extreme. I can just as easily show that the auto imparts freedom to explore physical exercises that greatly increase the body's heath, without invoking trips to gyms using virtual mountains and hiking paths in it's stead. Not to mention the lift to the spirit engaging in such endeavors. And yes, the bikers do this also. Notice all the bike racks on cars?
Oh, I suppose the use of virtual reality while using the gym is the answer to that.
/s
Posted by Starbuck | April 2, 2011 8:57 AM
Erik H. wrote:
If you really want to have fun with a transit or transportation "expert", ask them how to get between two places, in which one of the destinations is located on a bus line but in areas with no safe bike route.
I've tried it. You would not believe that I have been told to take MAX to destinations that there is no possible way to use MAX to the destination (or that MAX is so far out of the way it's laughable), and then when you tell the "expert" that MAX doesn't go there, they then question why you want/need to go there.
Here's an example of work TriMet is doing to respond to the issue you mentioned (at least to the extent that bike and ped concerns are commensurable):
http://trimet.org/pdfs/publications/pedestrian-study-fact-sheet.pdf
The "experts" care (or many of them do; not sure who you talked to), even if the decision-makers don't.
Posted by LURid | April 2, 2011 5:00 PM
Jack, the "real" pyramid reminds me of a great quote by Eric Hoffer:
"A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people's business."
- Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer", 1951
Posted by Steve Buckstein | April 7, 2011 4:57 PM