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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on April 1, 2011 7:48 AM. The previous post in this blog was Japanese nuke waste pool boiled dry. The next post in this blog is To our readers. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.



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Friday, April 1, 2011

Transportation? Ask the true experts.

We got another howler in the mail the other day from the City of Portland transportation folks:

There's so much to goof on in this six-page, multi-color flyer, but one item jumped right out as our instant favorite:

We thought about this for a minute -- about our fearless commissioner in charge (currently vacationing on the taxpayer's dime in Germany), and his new director of transportation (currently vacationing on the taxpayer's dime in Spain). We sensed that we were being had. So we drove down to City Hall and asked to see the real transportation bureau pyramid -- the one that they follow themselves, as opposed to the one they foist on the unsuspecting taxpayers. They tried to give us the runaround, but eventually, we got the document under the public records law.

It's just as we suspected:

The Real Portland Transportation Bureau Pyramid

Comments (27)

I'm so glad I have the city government to fix me!

When I think about all the people who I want to keep me on the right track in life(family, friends, place of worship, colleagues) on the very top of the list is "city bureacrats". I hope Portland reaches the point where some know-it-all 25 year old urban planner is personally following me around all day with a clipboard telling me everything I'm doing wrong.

Snards, I thought you lived in Vancouver?

How many pot holes could have been filled for the cost of that brochure?
Probably not that many, but it would have been a start.

"And we've all heard how the lack of physical activity has lead to the rise...".

Yep, these're some smart folks, all right.

Not yet, John. Convincing my wife to move will be the trick.

Year after year, Portland City Council (except this one) has set one of their strategic goals as maintaining infrastructure. But how can one get reelected without new shiny stuff to point to and put your name on.

It's really a travesty the way some elected officials use your tax dollars.

"When you’re hit over the head, the instrument could be a “lead” pipe. But when it’s a verb, “lead” is the present and “led” is the past tense."
-Paul Brians, Common Errors in English Usage

Pretty fitting clarification in my opinion.

If the food pyramid is a challenge for lots of people, this one is only for true believers.

Common Errors in English Usage

Come on. As Andrew johnson is supposed to have said (sead?), "It's a poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word." Standard usage is for sticklers and chumps.

Get Ready To Travel Smart!

Next flyer: Get Ready To Live Smart!

Oh, I guess we already had that done to us.
Smart Growth, Smart Trips, Smart Meters,....

How about a survey now - how do you like living in a Smart City?

Optional: Comments on how to become Smarter.

Smart growth wrecked my neighborhood.

Cool! I'm at the top of the pyramid for once...

I think there is a typo in the flyer. It should read:

Get Ready to Travel Smart Ass!

If you really want to have fun with a transit or transportation "expert", ask them how to get between two places, in which one of the destinations is located on a bus line but in areas with no safe bike route.

I've tried it. You would not believe that I have been told to take MAX to destinations that there is no possible way to use MAX to the destination (or that MAX is so far out of the way it's laughable), and then when you tell the "expert" that MAX doesn't go there, they then question why you want/need to go there.

New Name: The City That Smarts You Over.

Next stop: The City That Smacks You Over.

How to become Smarter?

Get Smart about who pushes Smart.

List names of the Smart promoters running for office.

I believe that the very inclusion of "Fix Streets" as though it were any part of the Transportation Department's thinking (or spending) qualifies as an "April Fool."

It's not your neighborhood... it belongs to planners in City Hall. They just let you live there as long as you keep forking over your money and doing as you're told.

Forking over is quite right. They are forking over all of us one way or another!

Keep Portland Pervy!

I think an effective (or "affective" for some)campaign strategy for an ingenious Mayoral candidate would be to place little red triangular signs on wire strands like they flag underground utility lines in or adjacent to all the potholes around town. The flags would have "Sam's Hole". The clever candidate would then have a media blitz being the "Common Sense Mayor" candidate and point out the "Sam's Hole" blitz. "Back to Basics".

Oh, come on, people. Is encouraging bicycling that bad? The comments here put it on the same level as the unemployment rate or the nuclear disaster in Japan. Please: it's a mailer.

This brochure surely has a cost to taxpayers, but it also encourages an activity that will improve individual and community health, thereby averting taxpayer dollars in health care costs and increasing social capital.

Rather than seeing this as an assault of the nanny state, why not appreciate the efforts of our local government to encourage a healthier and more community-driven society? It's something to be proud about, not feel controlled by.

My daughter walks 30 minutes twice a day just to get to a MAX stop to get out to MHCC. She's the perfect Portlander! (Not by choice...the nearest bus gives her a 20-minute wait in Troutdale, which isn't much fun in the dark and windy early mornings.)

This is Actually Great,

It isn't just about the bicycling.
It is about the whole picture as in the pyramid above:
Tell other people how to live,Placate bicyclists,Streetcars for the Condo boys,etc.

Quite frankly, it is not healthy to live in a community where citizens are treated the way they have been here for years.
Calling for "citizen input" yet controlling that and if need be ignoring it.
Moving people away from single family homes with yards so that children do not have a yard to in play doesn't help with obesity.
Calling our city green and sustainable but in words only, how green is it to propose turning Hayden Island into an asphalt parking lot?
Enough for now.

Figures don't lie so liars figure.

One can devise so many other graphics linking bad heath to bad habits that are actually true that this graphic is disingenuous to the extreme. I can just as easily show that the auto imparts freedom to explore physical exercises that greatly increase the body's heath, without invoking trips to gyms using virtual mountains and hiking paths in it's stead. Not to mention the lift to the spirit engaging in such endeavors. And yes, the bikers do this also. Notice all the bike racks on cars?

Oh, I suppose the use of virtual reality while using the gym is the answer to that.

Erik H. wrote:
If you really want to have fun with a transit or transportation "expert", ask them how to get between two places, in which one of the destinations is located on a bus line but in areas with no safe bike route.

I've tried it. You would not believe that I have been told to take MAX to destinations that there is no possible way to use MAX to the destination (or that MAX is so far out of the way it's laughable), and then when you tell the "expert" that MAX doesn't go there, they then question why you want/need to go there.

Here's an example of work TriMet is doing to respond to the issue you mentioned (at least to the extent that bike and ped concerns are commensurable):

The "experts" care (or many of them do; not sure who you talked to), even if the decision-makers don't.

Jack, the "real" pyramid reminds me of a great quote by Eric Hoffer:

"A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people's business."

- Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer", 1951


As a lawyer/blogger, I get
to be a member of:

In Vino Veritas

Lange, Pinot Gris 2015
Kiona, Lemberger 2014
Willamette Valley, Pinot Gris 2015
Aix, Rosé de Provence 2016
Marchigüe, Cabernet 2013
Inazío Irruzola, Getariako Txakolina Rosé 2015
Maso Canali, Pinot Grigio 2015
Campo Viejo, Rioja Reserva 2011
Kirkland, Côtes de Provence Rosé 2016
Cantele, Salice Salentino Reserva 2013
Whispering Angel, Côtes de Provence Rosé 2013
Avissi, Prosecco
Cleto Charli, Lambrusco di Sorbara Secco, Vecchia Modena
Pique Poul, Rosé 2016
Edmunds St. John, Bone-Jolly Rosé 2016
Stoller, Pinot Noir Rosé 2016
Chehalem, Inox Chardonnay 2015
The Four Graces, Pinot Gris 2015
Gascón, Colosal Red 2013
Cardwell Hill, Pinot Gris 2015
L'Ecole No. 41, Merlot 2013
Della Terra, Anonymus
Willamette Valley, Dijon Clone Chardonnay 2013
Wraith, Cabernet, Eidolon Estate 2012
Januik, Red 2015
Tomassi, Valpolicella, Rafaél, 2014
Sharecropper's Pinot Noir 2013
Helix, Pomatia Red Blend 2013
La Espera, Cabernet 2011
Campo Viejo, Rioja Reserva 2011
Villa Antinori, Toscana 2013
Locations, Spanish Red Wine
Locations, Argentinian Red Wine
La Antigua Clásico, Rioja 2011
Shatter, Grenache, Maury 2012
Argyle, Vintage Brut 2011
Abacela, Vintner's Blend #16 Abacela, Fiesta Tempranillo 2014
Benton Hill, Pinot Gris 2015
Primarius, Pinot Gris 2015
Januik, Merlot 2013
Napa Cellars, Cabernet 2013
J. Bookwalter, Protagonist 2012
LAN, Rioja Edicion Limitada 2011
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 2009
Denada Cellars, Cabernet, Maipo Valley 2014
Marchigüe, Cabernet, Colchagua Valley 2013
Oberon, Cabernet 2014
Hedges, Red Mountain 2012
Balboa, Rose of Grenache 2015
Ontañón, Rioja Reserva 2015
Three Horse Ranch, Pinot Gris 2014
Archery Summit, Vireton Pinot Gris 2014
Nelms Road, Merlot 2013
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Pinot Gris 2014
Conn Creek, Cabernet, Napa 2012
Conn Creek, Cabernet, Napa 2013
Villa Maria, Sauvignon Blanc 2015
G3, Cabernet 2013
Chateau Smith, Cabernet, Washington State 2014
Abacela, Vintner's Blend #16
Willamette Valley, Rose of Pinot Noir, Whole Clusters 2015
Albero, Bobal Rose 2015
Ca' del Baio Barbaresco Valgrande 2012
Goodfellow, Reserve Pinot Gris, Clover 2014
Lugana, San Benedetto 2014
Wente, Cabernet, Charles Wetmore 2011
La Espera, Cabernet 2011
King Estate, Pinot Gris 2015
Adelsheim, Pinot Gris 2015
Trader Joe's, Pinot Gris, Willamette Valley 2015
La Vite Lucente, Toscana Red 2013
St. Francis, Cabernet, Sonoma 2013
Kendall-Jackson, Pinot Noir, California 2013
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Napa Valley 2013
Erath, Pinot Noir, Estate Selection 2012
Abbot's Table, Columbia Valley 2014
Intrinsic, Cabernet 2014
Oyster Bay, Pinot Noir 2010
Occhipinti, SP68 Bianco 2014
Layer Cake, Shiraz 2013
Desert Wind, Ruah 2011
WillaKenzie, Pinot Gris 2014
Abacela, Fiesta Tempranillo 2013
Des Amis, Rose 2014
Dunham, Trautina 2012
RoxyAnn, Claret 2012
Del Ri, Claret 2012
Stoppa, Emilia, Red 2004
Primarius, Pinot Noir 2013
Domaines Bunan, Bandol Rose 2015
Albero, Bobal Rose 2015
Deer Creek, Pinot Gris 2015
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Nine Hats, Red 2013
Benziger, Cabernet, Sonoma 2012
Roxy Ann, Claret 2012
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Conundrum, White 2013
St. Francis, Sonoma Cabernet 2012

The Occasional Book

Phil Stanford - Rose City Vice
Kenneth R. Feinberg - What is Life Worth?
Kent Haruf - Our Souls at Night
Peter Carey - True History of the Kelly Gang
Suzanne Collins - The Hunger Games
Amy Stewart - Girl Waits With Gun
Philip Roth - The Plot Against America
Norm Macdonald - Based on a True Story
Christopher Buckley - Boomsday
Ryan Holiday - The Obstacle is the Way
Ruth Sepetys - Between Shades of Gray
Richard Adams - Watership Down
Claire Vaye Watkins - Gold Fame Citrus
Markus Zusak - I am the Messenger
Anthony Doerr - All the Light We Cannot See
James Joyce - Dubliners
Cheryl Strayed - Torch
William Golding - Lord of the Flies
Saul Bellow - Mister Sammler's Planet
Phil Stanford - White House Call Girl
John Kaplan & Jon R. Waltz - The Trial of Jack Ruby
Kent Haruf - Eventide
David Halberstam - Summer of '49
Norman Mailer - The Naked and the Dead
Maria Dermoȗt - The Ten Thousand Things
William Faulkner - As I Lay Dying
Markus Zusak - The Book Thief
Christopher Buckley - Thank You for Smoking
William Shakespeare - Othello
Joseph Conrad - Heart of Darkness
Bill Bryson - A Short History of Nearly Everything
Cheryl Strayed - Tiny Beautiful Things
Sara Varon - Bake Sale
Stephen King - 11/22/63
Paul Goldstein - Errors and Omissions
Mark Twain - A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
Steve Martin - Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life
Beverly Cleary - A Girl from Yamhill, a Memoir
Kent Haruf - Plainsong
Hope Larson - A Wrinkle in Time, the Graphic Novel
Rudyard Kipling - Kim
Peter Ames Carlin - Bruce
Fran Cannon Slayton - When the Whistle Blows
Neil Young - Waging Heavy Peace
Mark Bego - Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul (2012 ed.)
Jenny Lawson - Let's Pretend This Never Happened
J.D. Salinger - Franny and Zooey
Charles Dickens - A Christmas Carol
Timothy Egan - The Big Burn
Deborah Eisenberg - Transactions in a Foreign Currency
Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - Slaughterhouse Five
Kathryn Lance - Pandora's Genes
Cheryl Strayed - Wild
Fyodor Dostoyevsky - The Brothers Karamazov
Jack London - The House of Pride, and Other Tales of Hawaii
Jack Walker - The Extraordinary Rendition of Vincent Dellamaria
Colum McCann - Let the Great World Spin
Niccolò Machiavelli - The Prince
Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird
Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus - The Nanny Diaries
Brian Selznick - The Invention of Hugo Cabret
Sharon Creech - Walk Two Moons
Keith Richards - Life
F. Sionil Jose - Dusk
Natalie Babbitt - Tuck Everlasting
Justin Halpern - S#*t My Dad Says
Mark Herrmann - The Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law
Barry Glassner - The Gospel of Food
Phil Stanford - The Peyton-Allan Files
Jesse Katz - The Opposite Field
Evelyn Waugh - Brideshead Revisited
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
David Sedaris - Holidays on Ice
Donald Miller - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
Mitch Albom - Have a Little Faith
C.S. Lewis - The Magician's Nephew
F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby
William Shakespeare - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Ivan Doig - Bucking the Sun
Penda Diakité - I Lost My Tooth in Africa
Grace Lin - The Year of the Rat
Oscar Hijuelos - Mr. Ives' Christmas
Madeline L'Engle - A Wrinkle in Time
Steven Hart - The Last Three Miles
David Sedaris - Me Talk Pretty One Day
Karen Armstrong - The Spiral Staircase
Charles Larson - The Portland Murders
Adrian Wojnarowski - The Miracle of St. Anthony
William H. Colby - Long Goodbye
Steven D. Stark - Meet the Beatles
Phil Stanford - Portland Confidential
Rick Moody - Garden State
Jonathan Schwartz - All in Good Time
David Sedaris - Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Anthony Holden - Big Deal
Robert J. Spitzer - The Spirit of Leadership
James McManus - Positively Fifth Street
Jeff Noon - Vurt

Road Work

Miles run year to date: 113
At this date last year: 155
Total run in 2016: 155
In 2015: 271
In 2014: 401
In 2013: 257
In 2012: 129
In 2011: 113
In 2010: 125
In 2009: 67
In 2008: 28
In 2007: 113
In 2006: 100
In 2005: 149
In 2004: 204
In 2003: 269

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