So there we are. I'm back in the car. I get the phone out and start scrolling down through dozens of e-mail messages to see if I can find the link to the party on E-vite. It takes forever, and all the while I'm hoping the hosts don't look out the window and see us out there, especially if there's no party.
Finally it shows up on the screen.
It's the wrong night. The party is the next night.
We back out of the driveway, as discreetly as possible, and drive away. Now what? We need dinner, me pretty badly. Where should we go? As we head over the Ross Island Bridge, still not sure what's ahead, the Mrs. has a smart idea: Let's try this place, where we had a great dinner a couple of months ago. She Googles around, gets the phone number, calls. They can take us. Excellent!
As we head in that general direction, another road block, at the corner of SE Milwaukie and Clinton. A train! No, a gott-damn train! We see the red lights start flashing, the bells are ringing, there's no way I'm going to try to beat it. But trains at that spot can be looooong, and they can leave you cooling your heels for an annoying length of time.
It turns out, it's just a locomotive. Through that stretch, there are signs warning that the engines might actually be robots, with no human operators. That could well have been the case with this one. It passes through quickly.
Now, when we've had a fine meal at a restaurant, we're always a little apprehensive about going right back there. Sometimes the first time is a charm, and the return visit disappoints. Not in this case, not by a longshot. Every bite and sip was excellent.
My calendar malfunction meant that there was no way we were going to make the actual birthday party the next night. I had a work conflict, and we had already used up our babysitter chip for the weekend. But I salvaged a little. When my work gig got out, I managed to put in a brief appearance at the tail end of the birthday function, grab a plate of really nice food, and tell my story.
What I found out is that if we had rung the doorbell the night before, we would have encountered the birthday boy and his mate getting ready to head out to a nice restaurant themselves. Instead of an awkward bag of pretzels around their kitchen, we would have had a lovely meal in a friendly party of four. And so whether I rang the bell or not, it was going to be a good night. Did I make the right call? It's a tossup.
I brought home some birthday cake, and the Mrs. had some the next day. All's well that ends well. But when you start going to your peers' 60th birthday parties, a certain kind of stuff happens that wouldn't have happened when we were half our age.
Comments (4)
Birthday cake is good.
Also, coming into a birthday party near the end is good. You can never be too late for a birthday party. If they still have cake.
Jack, your story is a little like ours. We arrived a week early for a 50th BD where just a few couples were coming. No cars were in the driveway in West Linn home. But the lights were on, so we thought we'd just got the hour time wrong, maybe. We went to the door and the child sitter answered the door with the parents two kids laughing at our mistake. We had a great party the next week with homemade beer and a few great exotic mixed drinks with our bring-your-favorite-dish. And our mistake made for good laughs and many well placed jokes since I'd past 60.
Similar story earlier this year – a cold slushy January night the phone rings as I walk in the door from my evening commute. On the line is my eldest daughter. Mom asked her to call, the cell phone is dead she says, so is the minivan battery, she is calling from a borrowed phone at 2029 N 21st Street. Can I come round them up, warm them up and jump start the minivan. Sure I say.
I get out the laptop, Google the address – it’s on the other side of the County. I wonder what in the world the wife and kids are doing there. But I don’t let it concern me much because they have an adventuresome and unpredictable streak. Off I go, driving with purpose.
As I near the address I’m thinking, this place is so tucked away, a remnant of a larger neighborhood that was sliced off a generation ago to make way for an expressway, that I can’t imagine how my wife found it in the dark. If I hadn’t been in this neck of the woods before, in broad daylight -- out on the yard sale wars -- there is no way I could find the house.
As I turn the corner of the 2000 block, there are no street lights and a single front porch light along the entire blockface – across the street is a pitch dark thicket of tangled brush. I drive up the block and back down again. No minivan, not ours, not any. I get out of my Jeep, identify the 2029 house, which is dark in front and has a light on in back. Hmmmmm. I think, there must be a mistake. But hey, my wife and kids are stranded in frigid weather; I’m not going leave any stone unturned. I ring the bell. Dog barks. Lady answers the door cracking it open with one hand and keeping her other hand on the chain collar of her Staffordshire Terrier. I shiver.
Be calm I say to myself, dogs can sense nervousness. I explain I am looking for my wife and three kids stranded by a dead car battery at this address. Have you seen or heard anything of them? The lady peers at me, glances at my unkempt gray and white Santa Claus winter beard, gets that “Wife and kids in a minivan, sure” look on her face and slams the door.
Ok I think, I need to get out of here, quick before the dog jumps out or the police show up and things start to get really complicated.
As I’m driving away I decide to go to the center of the County to the last location I knew my family had visited earlier that afternoon. I was pretty sure there is a swath of 21st Street there – maybe they had never strayed far and the street number somehow was garbled.
Sure enough there was a two and half block long section of 21st Street nearby. I drove up 21st slowly. Nothing. I drove back down 21st. Nothing. I decide to turn off of 21st and scout nearby parking lots, but suddenly I sensed movement in my rear view mirror. I looked back. There were my 10-year old and 8-year old daughters at the corner screaming, waving their arms and jumping up and down. I looked up at the street sign. It was the corner of Woodstock and 21st, but I noticed immediately that some wag had done the old 90 degree rotation so 21st was Woodstock and Woodstock was 21st. Mystery solved and the frozen four rescued. They were never happier to see their old man.
Charamba, Douro 2008
Horse Heaven Hills, Cabernet 2010
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills Pinot Grigio 2011
Avignonesi, Montepulciano 2004
Lorelle, Willamette Valley Pinot Noir 2011
Villa Antinori, Toscana 2007
Mercedes Eguren, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Lorelle, Columbia Valley Cabernet 2011
Purple Moon, Merlot 2011
Purple Moon, Chardonnnay 2011
Abacela, Vintner's Blend No. 12
Opula Red Blend 2010
Liberte, Pinot Noir 2010
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Indian Wells Red Blend 2010
Woodbridge, Chardonnay 2011
King Estate, Pinot Noir 2011
Famille Perrin, Cotes du Rhone Villages 2010
Columbia Crest, Les Chevaux Red 2010
14 Hands, Hot to Trot White Blend
Familia Bianchi, Malbec 2009
Terrapin Cellars, Pinot Gris 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2009
Campo Viejo, Rioja, Termpranillo 2010
Ravenswood, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2010
Waterbrook, Reserve Merlot 2009
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills, Pinot Grigio 2011
Tarantas, Rose
Chateau Lajarre, Bordeaux 2009
La Vielle Ferme, Rose 2011
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio 2011
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir 2009
Lello, Douro Tinto 2009
Quinson Fils, Cotes de Provence Rose 2011
Anindor, Pinot Gris 2010
Buenas Ondas, Syrah Rose 2010
Les Fiefs d'Anglars, Malbec 2009
14 Hands, Pinot Gris 2011
Conundrum 2012
Condes de Albarei, Albariño 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2007
Penelope Sanchez, Garnacha Syrah 2010
Canoe Ridge, Merlot 2007
Atalaya do Mar, Godello 2010
Vega Montan, Mencia
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir, Marlborough 2009
Portuga, Rose 2011
Revelation, Chardonnay, Pays d'Oc 2010
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 2005
Monte Alto, Tinto Reserva 2005
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Cabernet, Indian Wells 2009
Espiral, Vinho Rose
Vin-Koru, Pinot Gris 2011
14 Hands, Hot to Trot Red 2009
Rodney Strong, Cabernet, Sonoma 2009
Abacela, Vintner's Blend #11
Portuga, White 2010
La Bourgeoisie, Red 2009
Januik, Red 2009
Three Rivers, River's Red 2008
Kirkland, Alexander Valley Merlot 2008
Muga, Rioja Rose 2010
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2009
Mauro Molino, Barbera d'Alba 2009
Garda Chiaretto Rose
Columbia Crest, Two Vines Vineyard 10 White
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Pinot Gris, Columbia Valley 2009
L'Hortus, Rose de Saignee 2010
Maculan, Pino & Toi 2008
McKinley Springs, Bombing Range Red 2008
Trader Joe's Pinot Gris 2009
Montes Alpha, Cabernet 2007
Gran Sasso, Sangiovese, Terre di Chieti 2009
Garda, Classico Chiaretto Rose
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 1999
Picos del Montgo, Tempranillo 2008
Chateau de Montmirail, Vacqueyras 2008
La Granja 360, Syrah 2009
Montgras, Carmenere Reserva 2009
Lange, Pinot Gris 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Cabernet 2008
Kirkland, Pinot Grigio 2010
Trader Joe's Coastal Syrah 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Merlot 2008
Trader Joe's Coastal Chardonnay 2009
Vieux Papes Red
Domaine de l'Aujardiere, Chardonnay 2009
Santa Rita, Cabernet, Medalla Real 2007
Penfold's, Koonunga Hill Shiraz Cabernet 2008
Guild, Red, Lot #02 2008
Dievole, Dievolino Sangiovese 2008
Laforet, Burgogne Chardonnay 2009
Columbia Winery, Merlot 2007
Bonterra, Cabernet 2008
Elk Cove, Pinot Gris 2009
Maquis Lien 2006
Scott Paul, Pinot Noir, Le Paulee 2007
The Occasional Book
Neil Young - Waging Heavy Peace
Mark Bego - Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul (2012 ed.)
Jenny Lawson - Let's Pretend This Never Happened
J.D. Salinger - Franny and Zooey
Charles Dickens - A Christmas Carol
Timothy Egan - The Big Burn
Deborah Eisenberg - Transactions in a Foreign Currency
Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - Slaughterhouse Five
Kathryn Lance - Pandora's Genes
Cheryl Strayed - Wild
Fyodor Dostoyevsky - The Brothers Karamazov
Jack London - The House of Pride, and Other Tales of Hawaii
Jack Walker - The Extraordinary Rendition of Vincent Dellamaria
Colum McCann - Let the Great World Spin
Niccolò Machiavelli - The Prince
Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird
Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus - The Nanny Diaries
Brian Selznick - The Invention of Hugo Cabret
Sharon Creech - Walk Two Moons
Keith Richards - Life
F. Sionil Jose - Dusk
Natalie Babbitt - Tuck Everlasting
Justin Halpern - S#*t My Dad Says
Mark Herrmann - The Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law
Barry Glassner - The Gospel of Food
Phil Stanford - The Peyton-Allan Files
Jesse Katz - The Opposite Field
Evelyn Waugh - Brideshead Revisited
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
David Sedaris - Holidays on Ice
Donald Miller - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
Mitch Albom - Have a Little Faith
C.S. Lewis - The Magician's Nephew
F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby
William Shakespeare - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Ivan Doig - Bucking the Sun
Penda Diakité - I Lost My Tooth in Africa
Grace Lin - The Year of the Rat
Oscar Hijuelos - Mr. Ives' Christmas
Madeline L'Engle - A Wrinkle in Time
Steven Hart - The Last Three Miles
David Sedaris - Me Talk Pretty One Day
Karen Armstrong - The Spiral Staircase
Charles Larson - The Portland Murders
Adrian Wojnarowski - The Miracle of St. Anthony
William H. Colby - Long Goodbye
Steven D. Stark - Meet the Beatles
Phil Stanford - Portland Confidential
Rick Moody - Garden State
Jonathan Schwartz - All in Good Time
David Sedaris - Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Anthony Holden - Big Deal
Robert J. Spitzer - The Spirit of Leadership
James McManus - Positively Fifth Street
Jeff Noon - Vurt
Road Work
Miles run year to date: 21
At this date last year: 52
Total run in 2012: 129
In 2011: 113
In 2010: 125
In 2009: 67
In 2008: 28
In 2007: 113
In 2006: 100
In 2005: 149
In 2004: 204
In 2003: 269
Comments (4)
Birthday cake is good.
Also, coming into a birthday party near the end is good. You can never be too late for a birthday party. If they still have cake.
Posted by Harry | March 13, 2011 9:04 PM
Jack, your story is a little like ours. We arrived a week early for a 50th BD where just a few couples were coming. No cars were in the driveway in West Linn home. But the lights were on, so we thought we'd just got the hour time wrong, maybe. We went to the door and the child sitter answered the door with the parents two kids laughing at our mistake. We had a great party the next week with homemade beer and a few great exotic mixed drinks with our bring-your-favorite-dish. And our mistake made for good laughs and many well placed jokes since I'd past 60.
Posted by Lee | March 13, 2011 9:19 PM
60 happens :(
And then you get over it :)
But the short term memory loss is difficult to adjust to :{
go by...what's that again?
Posted by Portland Native | March 13, 2011 9:36 PM
Similar story earlier this year – a cold slushy January night the phone rings as I walk in the door from my evening commute. On the line is my eldest daughter. Mom asked her to call, the cell phone is dead she says, so is the minivan battery, she is calling from a borrowed phone at 2029 N 21st Street. Can I come round them up, warm them up and jump start the minivan. Sure I say.
I get out the laptop, Google the address – it’s on the other side of the County. I wonder what in the world the wife and kids are doing there. But I don’t let it concern me much because they have an adventuresome and unpredictable streak. Off I go, driving with purpose.
As I near the address I’m thinking, this place is so tucked away, a remnant of a larger neighborhood that was sliced off a generation ago to make way for an expressway, that I can’t imagine how my wife found it in the dark. If I hadn’t been in this neck of the woods before, in broad daylight -- out on the yard sale wars -- there is no way I could find the house.
As I turn the corner of the 2000 block, there are no street lights and a single front porch light along the entire blockface – across the street is a pitch dark thicket of tangled brush. I drive up the block and back down again. No minivan, not ours, not any. I get out of my Jeep, identify the 2029 house, which is dark in front and has a light on in back. Hmmmmm. I think, there must be a mistake. But hey, my wife and kids are stranded in frigid weather; I’m not going leave any stone unturned. I ring the bell. Dog barks. Lady answers the door cracking it open with one hand and keeping her other hand on the chain collar of her Staffordshire Terrier. I shiver.
Be calm I say to myself, dogs can sense nervousness. I explain I am looking for my wife and three kids stranded by a dead car battery at this address. Have you seen or heard anything of them? The lady peers at me, glances at my unkempt gray and white Santa Claus winter beard, gets that “Wife and kids in a minivan, sure” look on her face and slams the door.
Ok I think, I need to get out of here, quick before the dog jumps out or the police show up and things start to get really complicated.
As I’m driving away I decide to go to the center of the County to the last location I knew my family had visited earlier that afternoon. I was pretty sure there is a swath of 21st Street there – maybe they had never strayed far and the street number somehow was garbled.
Sure enough there was a two and half block long section of 21st Street nearby. I drove up 21st slowly. Nothing. I drove back down 21st. Nothing. I decide to turn off of 21st and scout nearby parking lots, but suddenly I sensed movement in my rear view mirror. I looked back. There were my 10-year old and 8-year old daughters at the corner screaming, waving their arms and jumping up and down. I looked up at the street sign. It was the corner of Woodstock and 21st, but I noticed immediately that some wag had done the old 90 degree rotation so 21st was Woodstock and Woodstock was 21st. Mystery solved and the frozen four rescued. They were never happier to see their old man.
Posted by Newleaf | March 14, 2011 2:09 PM