Special Report: It might snow
Here at Blog Central, the temperature is below freezing, there's a storm coming in off the ocean, and that can mean only one thing!
Portland authorities stress that it's really important to prepare yourself for the potentially deadly weather we might encounter later today. Snow! Ice! Cold! You could die! There's only one thing to do -- remain indoors and stay glued all day to bojack.org StormCenter 9000.2. Do not go outside -- do not even look out the window! We have complete team coverage starting with this update from the Sylvan overpass:
We're up here on the Sylvan overpass, and we're seeing road crews out here spraying de-icer on the perfectly dry roads. This is an important procedure, because it makes the dry roads look like they're covered in black ice. That way, drivers know what black ice looks like, so when they're driving on real black ice tonight, they won't be surprised at how it looks.Thank you. Now we're going to go live for a report from the StormCenter 9000.2 team up on Crown Point in the Columbia Gorge. Can you hear us up there? Take it away:
Also, you'll notice that Portland has both of its snow plows out, and they're up here near the on-ramp, all chained up and ready to go. If it snows, the really good-looking people in the city transportation office are Tweeting that barring unforeseen problems, they'll have 10 or 12 of the city's streets completely cleared out in the first 24 hours after the snow stops falling. Back to you at Blog Central.
We're up here on Crown Point and it's very windy, and the meteorologists tell us it's going to get even more windy as the storm bears down on us. Also, we're high up here, which means that unless there's an inversion, it's colder up here than it is down below us. And so, if it's snowing down there, it's definitely going to be snowing up here. In that case we'll both have snow, which could make for some hazardous travel conditions. Man, it's windy up here. Back to you.It's really blowing up there, isn't it? Now let's get an up-to-the-minute storm forecast from our StormCenter storm-tracking weather experts. They have been monitoring the storm from the observation deck of the debtors' detention center at the top of the Wells Fargo Tower:
There could be some precipitation coming our way, and if the temperature stays below 32 degrees, it is probably going to freeze, either before or after it hits the ground. There is a definite chance of that happening. If it's snow, or rain that turns to ice, it's probably going to be slippery. Which means that people trying to travel on it could slip, and maybe collide with something solid, causing injury. And so it might snow, and you might die. If it doesn't snow or freeze -- if it's just plain rain -- you'll be o.k. We'll let you know as soon as it starts coming down. Until then, use caution. Back to you.Meanwhile, here in town people are pitching in to help those who are most vulnerable to the biting cold. The Portland police bureau is offering a free Tasing to anyone who wants it; they urge cold people to bring a small knife or pointy scissors to the Justice Center lobby on Southwest Third. Please stop moving right away once you feel the Taser and start to warm up. At the United Church of Christ out in Parkrose, the doors will be open all day, and Reverend Chuck Currie has promised to give a brief sermon every hour on the hour to keep up a plentiful supply of hot air. City Commissioner Nick Fish and the crew at the shopping cart locker operation in Old Town will be giving foot massages to the homeless beginning at sunset this evening. And Merritt Paulson, owner of the Portland Timbers soccer team, has offered to let a poor or lower-middle-class person sit on the hood of his car after he parks it and heads into Bluehour today for lunch. Paulson's expected to be at valet parking at the restaurant at around 11:45 this morning.
We'll be back, live, after this message from Mattress World. Stay tuned to bojack.org StormCenter 9000.2 for all the latest on the Great '11 Storm.