If I had a hammer (Jack Bog's Blog)

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on December 16, 2010 3:42 AM. The previous post in this blog was IRS on parade. The next post in this blog is Kissy wissy with Mayor Creepy. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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« IRS on parade | Main | Kissy wissy with Mayor Creepy »

Thursday, December 16, 2010

If I had a hammer

Posted at 3:42 AM | Permalink

Comments (24)

Oh Boy!!! for a virtual hammer!!!!

Posted by portland native on the road | December 16, 2010 4:44 AM

Where in the world is Neil?

Posted by David E Gilmore | December 16, 2010 6:09 AM

Putzes all!

Posted by Dave A. | December 16, 2010 6:26 AM

We can't win!

Posted by Michelle | December 16, 2010 7:08 AM

When every problem looks like a nail, don't use a hammer! Use tactical thermo-nuclear weapons!

Posted by LexusLibertarian | December 16, 2010 7:21 AM

To pull out an overused quote and use it in the manner in which it was intended, "I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."

Posted by Texas Triffid Ranch | December 16, 2010 8:29 AM

I always knew he was crackers. Now we can spread some whacamole' on them!

Posted by Starbuck | December 16, 2010 8:48 AM

Who are the two on the right, top row?
And bottom row 1st on left

Posted by Ben | December 16, 2010 8:53 AM

You might consider animating this for a touch screen phone and pitching it as an app. You could use publicly available photos for any local civic "leaders" and customize the game for any city. Could be your ticket outta here.

Posted by PDXLifer | December 16, 2010 8:56 AM

I say press the 'test' button which has all the heads pop up at the same time and set loose a daisy cutter. Talk about good use of federal money ... finally.

Posted by native oregonian | December 16, 2010 9:12 AM

Last verse:

Well I've got a hammer
And I've got a bell
And I've got a song to sing
All over this land
It's the hammer of justice
It's the bell of freedom
It's the song about love between my brothers and my sisters
All over this land

Posted by clinamen | December 16, 2010 9:15 AM

Top right are John Canzano and Storm Large. Bottom left is Little Lord Paulson.

Posted by Jack Bog | December 16, 2010 10:01 AM

The stealth dangerous one there isn’t the obvious, as in Samrand, but it is Nick Fish. He has this aura of credibility and responsibility yet is underneath the biggest flake. The guy has no common sense, is a terrible manager and votes for every boondoggle the slime twins come up with.

Posted by John Benton | December 16, 2010 10:18 AM

Where in the world is Neil?

He's in there three or four times.

Posted by Jack Bog | December 16, 2010 10:26 AM

forgive my ignorance, but what the heck is a Storm Large?

Posted by mp97303 | December 16, 2010 10:35 AM

No representation of the City Auditor? Or is she under, beneath, covered by Mr Leonard.

Posted by Gardiner Menefree | December 16, 2010 11:09 AM

Take out Canzano and put in the 'ol rapist Gov. Goldy...

Posted by NoPo Guy | December 16, 2010 3:14 PM

There he is sticking out like a sore thumb on our cityscape.
He gets sore if challenged.
His unwise decisions lead to more and more debt
leaving our city in a sore state.
Many are sore and feel betrayed by him
more will be upset when they find out the price to pay for keeping a sore thumb.
A sore thumb can get worse,
this one appears to have been infected by corporate bugs.

Posted by tsetse fly | December 16, 2010 4:51 PM

tsetse fly,

The whole council appears to be asleep at the wheel.

Posted by Starbuck | December 16, 2010 7:35 PM

Buck-a-Hit here next year with a *Whack-a-Pol* online game, you'll raise a million.

Posted by Mojo | December 16, 2010 9:38 PM

PDXLifer's onto something big, Jack. BIG, I say! And the Kitz stays in the picture.

Posted by Mojo | December 16, 2010 9:40 PM

There are so many others that could go in the holes -- Kitz's girlfriend, the Latest Kafoury, Saltzman and his mom, Edlen, Malsin, Rapaport, Liberty, Wievel, the guy running the U of O, Lars, Victoria, and of course, Goldschmidt.

Posted by Jack Bog | December 16, 2010 9:43 PM

*Whack-a-Pol*

Absolutely brilliant!!

Posted by PDXLifer | December 16, 2010 10:58 PM

If Lars were in that contraption, I'd be renting a jackhammer and setting up shop right over the Liars Lars hole.

Posted by LucsAdvo | December 17, 2010 6:28 AM

In Vino Veritas

Charamba, Douro 2008
Horse Heaven Hills, Cabernet 2010
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills Pinot Grigio 2011
Avignonesi, Montepulciano 2004
Lorelle, Willamette Valley Pinot Noir 2011
Villa Antinori, Toscana 2007
Mercedes Eguren, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Lorelle, Columbia Valley Cabernet 2011
Purple Moon, Merlot 2011
Purple Moon, Chardonnnay 2011
Abacela, Vintner's Blend No. 12
Opula Red Blend 2010
Liberte, Pinot Noir 2010
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Indian Wells Red Blend 2010
Woodbridge, Chardonnay 2011
King Estate, Pinot Noir 2011
Famille Perrin, Cotes du Rhone Villages 2010
Columbia Crest, Les Chevaux Red 2010
14 Hands, Hot to Trot White Blend
Familia Bianchi, Malbec 2009
Terrapin Cellars, Pinot Gris 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2009
Campo Viejo, Rioja, Termpranillo 2010
Ravenswood, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2010
Waterbrook, Reserve Merlot 2009
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills, Pinot Grigio 2011
Tarantas, Rose
Chateau Lajarre, Bordeaux 2009
La Vielle Ferme, Rose 2011
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio 2011
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir 2009
Lello, Douro Tinto 2009
Quinson Fils, Cotes de Provence Rose 2011
Anindor, Pinot Gris 2010
Buenas Ondas, Syrah Rose 2010
Les Fiefs d'Anglars, Malbec 2009
14 Hands, Pinot Gris 2011
Conundrum 2012
Condes de Albarei, Albariño 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2007
Penelope Sanchez, Garnacha Syrah 2010
Canoe Ridge, Merlot 2007
Atalaya do Mar, Godello 2010
Vega Montan, Mencia
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir, Marlborough 2009
Portuga, Rose 2011
Revelation, Chardonnay, Pays d'Oc 2010
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 2005
Monte Alto, Tinto Reserva 2005
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Cabernet, Indian Wells 2009
Espiral, Vinho Rose
Vin-Koru, Pinot Gris 2011
14 Hands, Hot to Trot Red 2009
Rodney Strong, Cabernet, Sonoma 2009
Abacela, Vintner's Blend #11
Portuga, White 2010
La Bourgeoisie, Red 2009
Januik, Red 2009
Three Rivers, River's Red 2008
Kirkland, Alexander Valley Merlot 2008
Muga, Rioja Rose 2010
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2009
Mauro Molino, Barbera d'Alba 2009
Garda Chiaretto Rose
Columbia Crest, Two Vines Vineyard 10 White
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Pinot Gris, Columbia Valley 2009
L'Hortus, Rose de Saignee 2010
Maculan, Pino & Toi 2008
McKinley Springs, Bombing Range Red 2008
Trader Joe's Pinot Gris 2009
Montes Alpha, Cabernet 2007
Gran Sasso, Sangiovese, Terre di Chieti 2009
Garda, Classico Chiaretto Rose
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 1999
Picos del Montgo, Tempranillo 2008
Chateau de Montmirail, Vacqueyras 2008
La Granja 360, Syrah 2009
Montgras, Carmenere Reserva 2009
Lange, Pinot Gris 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Cabernet 2008
Kirkland, Pinot Grigio 2010
Trader Joe's Coastal Syrah 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Merlot 2008
Trader Joe's Coastal Chardonnay 2009
Vieux Papes Red
Domaine de l'Aujardiere, Chardonnay 2009
Santa Rita, Cabernet, Medalla Real 2007
Penfold's, Koonunga Hill Shiraz Cabernet 2008
Guild, Red, Lot #02 2008
Dievole, Dievolino Sangiovese 2008
Laforet, Burgogne Chardonnay 2009
Columbia Winery, Merlot 2007
Bonterra, Cabernet 2008
Elk Cove, Pinot Gris 2009
Maquis Lien 2006
Scott Paul, Pinot Noir, Le Paulee 2007

The Occasional Book

Neil Young - Waging Heavy Peace
Mark Bego - Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul (2012 ed.)
Jenny Lawson - Let's Pretend This Never Happened
J.D. Salinger - Franny and Zooey
Charles Dickens - A Christmas Carol
Timothy Egan - The Big Burn
Deborah Eisenberg - Transactions in a Foreign Currency
Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - Slaughterhouse Five
Kathryn Lance - Pandora's Genes
Cheryl Strayed - Wild
Fyodor Dostoyevsky - The Brothers Karamazov
Jack London - The House of Pride, and Other Tales of Hawaii
Jack Walker - The Extraordinary Rendition of Vincent Dellamaria
Colum McCann - Let the Great World Spin
Niccolò Machiavelli - The Prince
Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird
Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus - The Nanny Diaries
Brian Selznick - The Invention of Hugo Cabret
Sharon Creech - Walk Two Moons
Keith Richards - Life
F. Sionil Jose - Dusk
Natalie Babbitt - Tuck Everlasting
Justin Halpern - S#*t My Dad Says
Mark Herrmann - The Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law
Barry Glassner - The Gospel of Food
Phil Stanford - The Peyton-Allan Files
Jesse Katz - The Opposite Field
Evelyn Waugh - Brideshead Revisited
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
David Sedaris - Holidays on Ice
Donald Miller - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
Mitch Albom - Have a Little Faith
C.S. Lewis - The Magician's Nephew
F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby
William Shakespeare - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Ivan Doig - Bucking the Sun
Penda Diakité - I Lost My Tooth in Africa
Grace Lin - The Year of the Rat
Oscar Hijuelos - Mr. Ives' Christmas
Madeline L'Engle - A Wrinkle in Time
Steven Hart - The Last Three Miles
David Sedaris - Me Talk Pretty One Day
Karen Armstrong - The Spiral Staircase
Charles Larson - The Portland Murders
Adrian Wojnarowski - The Miracle of St. Anthony
William H. Colby - Long Goodbye
Steven D. Stark - Meet the Beatles
Phil Stanford - Portland Confidential
Rick Moody - Garden State
Jonathan Schwartz - All in Good Time
David Sedaris - Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Anthony Holden - Big Deal
Robert J. Spitzer - The Spirit of Leadership
James McManus - Positively Fifth Street
Jeff Noon - Vurt

Road Work

Miles run year to date: 21
At this date last year: 52
Total run in 2012: 129
In 2011: 113
In 2010: 125
In 2009: 67
In 2008: 28
In 2007: 113
In 2006: 100
In 2005: 149
In 2004: 204
In 2003: 269