Amidst the media frenzy surrounding the downtown Portland Christmas tree bomb plot, the ensuing histrionics in the blogosphere, and the ugly backlash, perhaps some gallows humor is in order. We'll try to prime the pump with these:
1. Since his name is Mohamed Mohamud, does that means he should get consecutive sentences?
2. The mayor says he's not insulted that he was not part of the federal sting. "It's no big deal," he said. "I get bombed every Friday night, with or without the FBI."
3. Portland was never in any danger. The feds made sure the kid couldn't set off the explosives. They gave him a cell phone from AT&T.
4. This never would have happened if Paul Allen had let Lars Larson put up the crucifix in the square.
5. Yesterday I saw Dwight Holton at the Home Depot return counter with the bomb parts.
Readers, as you can see, I'm running out of steam. Please take it from here.
Comments (21)
Mohamud has spent the past three nights at the Justice Center Jail in downtown Portland, where he was provided with halal meals, the only food permitted under Islamic guidelines. You think if I tried this in Iran I would get Hot Dogs and Apple Pie for Lunch?
It wouldn't surprise me to find out that when his Al Qaeda handlers realized just how dumb this guy was they decided to tip him off to the FBI themselves, so they could at least generate lots of press coverage.
(Julius Caesar’s letter to the citizens/subjects regarding frontier checkpoints)
Salutations, esteemed fellow Romans!
I write you from Gaul, site of another of our many legions’ encampments around the world. The auguries tell me that there are growing objections, both in the Forum and Senate, to the system of searches upon travelers coming into our territories from barbarian regions along our expansive periphery, especially southern Arabia and Mesopotamia.
Securitas Republicae, a part of Rome’s government akin to our legions, has ordered these searches to better safeguard our freedoms from those who hate us for those freedoms. This, I’m sure you will agree, will improve the safety and wellbeing of the citizens of our Republic, ignorant and churlish and ungrateful though they be. [Strike that last part? -JC]
In recent weeks these security measures have been stepped up as barbarian threats have become more pronounced. Accordingly, at many checkpoints along the Rhine, Rhone, Danube, Jordan, Nile, Niger, Tigris, Euphrates, and Potomac [check that last one -JC] we are requiring travelers to lift their togas or in some cases to allow one of my shorter legionaries to look up their togas – a procedure I have named the Veni Vidi. [I can’t think of a third “V” word just now -JC]
In certain casi we will be performing the Circumspectus Caviti – again for your protection. Naturally my legionaries are well-trained professionals who ....
Or, there's always Jonathan Swift's 'Modest Proposal': "let's eat the children."
But seriously, folks, if there is time in this workday for only one diversion reading an undiscovered website, (and that ain't funny), perhaps it should be about events of the Thanksgiving JFK was murdered. And if I had discovered it last week, I'd have posted it in Jack's 'JFK memories' thread ... who could have known then it would foreshadow the weekend's 'deep politics' media-manipulation (just in time for advertisers' big spending splash anti-BuyNothingDay) to stir hatred against 'terrorism-ers' (called 'communists' in JFK's time) and stir psychomass mob mentality to torch a mosque down in the Valley? The National Security State and the Assassination of JFK - The CIA, the Pentagon, and the `Peace President`, by Andrew Gavin Marshall, GlobalResearch.ca, November 23, 2010
Just 47 years ago, on November 22, 1963, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas, Texas. This marked ... the moment its growing power was threatened by the civilian leadership in America, the apparatus of empire came home to roost.
The National Security State
The apparatus of the National Security State, largely established in the National Security Act of 1947, laid the foundations for the extension of American hegemony around the globe. In short, the Act laid the foundations for the apparatus of the American Empire. The National Security Act created the National Security Council (NSC) and position of National Security Adviser, as well as the Joint Chiefs of Staff (JSC) as the Pentagon high command of military leaders, and of course, the CIA.
For all PDX cityhall's political correctness (sanctuary city status even), geez isn't it surprising certain cultures still hate you. Not really. It's called appeasement; a bad movie often repeated, by gosh, such good intentioned folks.
would you please devote your considerable energies to digging up some really juicy stuff out of the latest wiki-leaks haystack?
I already read someplace that, oooooooh, SHOCKER, it appears that some rich Saudis are still bankrolling Al Qaeda!!!
What can one expect from citizens of a country where it is state policy to let 10-year old girls be married to their 80 year old first cousins?
What can one expect from citizens of a country where it is state policy to venerate a man whose favorite wife was six years old when they married? (Union not fully consummated until she reached age 9, tho. Apparently there is a codified Islamic solution to achieving sexual satisfaction with a child bride who hasn't menstruated yet. The husband is instructed to just rub himself on her. This was quoted in a sermon by Ayatolla Khomeini himself.)
What can one expect from citizens of a country where it is state policy to venerate a slaveholder, who once "married" a Jewish princess, in a serious hurry, within hours of his men had capturing her city and beheading her husband, father, and brothers? union consummated that very night. So romantic. This sort of thing has a name. It's called rape. But there's another Islamic solution to that too! A women can't claim rape unless she has four MALES willing to testify that it happened!! Good times!!!
I know! Let's just sell SIXTY BILLION dollars worth of high tech military goods to this country! Let's elect a president who tells us the prettiest sounds he ever heard were the calls to prayer from a mosque! Let's then watch while this bozo bows down deeply, in an act flagrantly at odds with every one of his predecessors in office, to the King of Saudi Arabia!
ON VIDEOTAPE FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE.
“I had conversations prior to the bid with the broker about who the bidders were going to be and who was going to win or lose,” Campbell, slim with sandy-blond hair, told U.S. District Judge William Pauley.
Taxpayers were the victims because, by fixing the bids, Bank of America, the largest U.S. bank by assets, paid municipalities less than it would have had there been honest auctions. In his Sept. 9 court confession, Campbell, 45, repeatedly told the judge that his illegal actions came at the expense of the public.
Latest from desk of Janet Napolitano - We will immediately need a full search of any automobile entering downtown (wipes smile of glee off face as downtown finally gets its death knell. Now homeless will need alternative neighborhood.)
Mojo, Robt Mackey, in a NYT blog today, suggests that BAC may be the too-big-to-fail in WikiLeaks' crosshairs:
"To follow up on our 12:35 p.m. update, about the upcoming 'megaleak' of documents from an American bank, our colleagues at the DealBook blog reported this afternoon that Julian Assange said last year that he had obtained data from a Bank of America executive's hard drive. Interviewed at the Hack In The Box security conference in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia in October 2009, Mr. Assange told IDG News Service:
'At the moment, for example, we are sitting on 5GB from Bank of America, one of the executive's hard drives.... Now how do we present that? It's a difficult problem. We could just dump it all into one giant Zip file, but we know for a fact that has limited impact. To have impact, it needs to be easy for people to dive in and search it and get something out of it.'"
Charamba, Douro 2008
Horse Heaven Hills, Cabernet 2010
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills Pinot Grigio 2011
Avignonesi, Montepulciano 2004
Lorelle, Willamette Valley Pinot Noir 2011
Villa Antinori, Toscana 2007
Mercedes Eguren, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Lorelle, Columbia Valley Cabernet 2011
Purple Moon, Merlot 2011
Purple Moon, Chardonnnay 2011
Abacela, Vintner's Blend No. 12
Opula Red Blend 2010
Liberte, Pinot Noir 2010
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Indian Wells Red Blend 2010
Woodbridge, Chardonnay 2011
King Estate, Pinot Noir 2011
Famille Perrin, Cotes du Rhone Villages 2010
Columbia Crest, Les Chevaux Red 2010
14 Hands, Hot to Trot White Blend
Familia Bianchi, Malbec 2009
Terrapin Cellars, Pinot Gris 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2009
Campo Viejo, Rioja, Termpranillo 2010
Ravenswood, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2010
Waterbrook, Reserve Merlot 2009
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills, Pinot Grigio 2011
Tarantas, Rose
Chateau Lajarre, Bordeaux 2009
La Vielle Ferme, Rose 2011
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio 2011
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir 2009
Lello, Douro Tinto 2009
Quinson Fils, Cotes de Provence Rose 2011
Anindor, Pinot Gris 2010
Buenas Ondas, Syrah Rose 2010
Les Fiefs d'Anglars, Malbec 2009
14 Hands, Pinot Gris 2011
Conundrum 2012
Condes de Albarei, Albariño 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2007
Penelope Sanchez, Garnacha Syrah 2010
Canoe Ridge, Merlot 2007
Atalaya do Mar, Godello 2010
Vega Montan, Mencia
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir, Marlborough 2009
Portuga, Rose 2011
Revelation, Chardonnay, Pays d'Oc 2010
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 2005
Monte Alto, Tinto Reserva 2005
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Cabernet, Indian Wells 2009
Espiral, Vinho Rose
Vin-Koru, Pinot Gris 2011
14 Hands, Hot to Trot Red 2009
Rodney Strong, Cabernet, Sonoma 2009
Abacela, Vintner's Blend #11
Portuga, White 2010
La Bourgeoisie, Red 2009
Januik, Red 2009
Three Rivers, River's Red 2008
Kirkland, Alexander Valley Merlot 2008
Muga, Rioja Rose 2010
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2009
Mauro Molino, Barbera d'Alba 2009
Garda Chiaretto Rose
Columbia Crest, Two Vines Vineyard 10 White
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Pinot Gris, Columbia Valley 2009
L'Hortus, Rose de Saignee 2010
Maculan, Pino & Toi 2008
McKinley Springs, Bombing Range Red 2008
Trader Joe's Pinot Gris 2009
Montes Alpha, Cabernet 2007
Gran Sasso, Sangiovese, Terre di Chieti 2009
Garda, Classico Chiaretto Rose
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 1999
Picos del Montgo, Tempranillo 2008
Chateau de Montmirail, Vacqueyras 2008
La Granja 360, Syrah 2009
Montgras, Carmenere Reserva 2009
Lange, Pinot Gris 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Cabernet 2008
Kirkland, Pinot Grigio 2010
Trader Joe's Coastal Syrah 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Merlot 2008
Trader Joe's Coastal Chardonnay 2009
Vieux Papes Red
Domaine de l'Aujardiere, Chardonnay 2009
Santa Rita, Cabernet, Medalla Real 2007
Penfold's, Koonunga Hill Shiraz Cabernet 2008
Guild, Red, Lot #02 2008
Dievole, Dievolino Sangiovese 2008
Laforet, Burgogne Chardonnay 2009
Columbia Winery, Merlot 2007
Bonterra, Cabernet 2008
Elk Cove, Pinot Gris 2009
Maquis Lien 2006
Scott Paul, Pinot Noir, Le Paulee 2007
The Occasional Book
Neil Young - Waging Heavy Peace
Mark Bego - Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul (2012 ed.)
Jenny Lawson - Let's Pretend This Never Happened
J.D. Salinger - Franny and Zooey
Charles Dickens - A Christmas Carol
Timothy Egan - The Big Burn
Deborah Eisenberg - Transactions in a Foreign Currency
Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - Slaughterhouse Five
Kathryn Lance - Pandora's Genes
Cheryl Strayed - Wild
Fyodor Dostoyevsky - The Brothers Karamazov
Jack London - The House of Pride, and Other Tales of Hawaii
Jack Walker - The Extraordinary Rendition of Vincent Dellamaria
Colum McCann - Let the Great World Spin
Niccolò Machiavelli - The Prince
Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird
Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus - The Nanny Diaries
Brian Selznick - The Invention of Hugo Cabret
Sharon Creech - Walk Two Moons
Keith Richards - Life
F. Sionil Jose - Dusk
Natalie Babbitt - Tuck Everlasting
Justin Halpern - S#*t My Dad Says
Mark Herrmann - The Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law
Barry Glassner - The Gospel of Food
Phil Stanford - The Peyton-Allan Files
Jesse Katz - The Opposite Field
Evelyn Waugh - Brideshead Revisited
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
David Sedaris - Holidays on Ice
Donald Miller - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
Mitch Albom - Have a Little Faith
C.S. Lewis - The Magician's Nephew
F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby
William Shakespeare - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Ivan Doig - Bucking the Sun
Penda Diakité - I Lost My Tooth in Africa
Grace Lin - The Year of the Rat
Oscar Hijuelos - Mr. Ives' Christmas
Madeline L'Engle - A Wrinkle in Time
Steven Hart - The Last Three Miles
David Sedaris - Me Talk Pretty One Day
Karen Armstrong - The Spiral Staircase
Charles Larson - The Portland Murders
Adrian Wojnarowski - The Miracle of St. Anthony
William H. Colby - Long Goodbye
Steven D. Stark - Meet the Beatles
Phil Stanford - Portland Confidential
Rick Moody - Garden State
Jonathan Schwartz - All in Good Time
David Sedaris - Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Anthony Holden - Big Deal
Robert J. Spitzer - The Spirit of Leadership
James McManus - Positively Fifth Street
Jeff Noon - Vurt
Road Work
Miles run year to date: 21
At this date last year: 52
Total run in 2012: 129
In 2011: 113
In 2010: 125
In 2009: 67
In 2008: 28
In 2007: 113
In 2006: 100
In 2005: 149
In 2004: 204
In 2003: 269
Comments (21)
Mohamud has spent the past three nights at the Justice Center Jail in downtown Portland, where he was provided with halal meals, the only food permitted under Islamic guidelines. You think if I tried this in Iran I would get Hot Dogs and Apple Pie for Lunch?
Posted by m | November 29, 2010 7:25 AM
The kid should have become very suspicious when he was able to find a parking space.
Posted by ray | November 29, 2010 7:28 AM
After living in Corvallis I don't blame him for taking steps toward meeting some real virgins.
I apologize in advance.
Gibbs
Posted by Gibby | November 29, 2010 8:02 AM
It wouldn't surprise me to find out that when his Al Qaeda handlers realized just how dumb this guy was they decided to tip him off to the FBI themselves, so they could at least generate lots of press coverage.
Posted by Peter Apanel | November 29, 2010 8:09 AM
Things could always be worse. He could have given out free Dagoba chocolate and caused some real damage.
Posted by Texas Triffid Ranch | November 29, 2010 8:22 AM
Surely, let's go laughing all the way to the tanks.
(Source: News.BBC.co.uk/hi/english/static/in_depth/europe/2001/collapse_of_ussr/photofile/7.stm)
I {heart} ROTFLOL reading this satirical send-up:
Or, there's always Jonathan Swift's 'Modest Proposal': "let's eat the children."Fame is fleeting – and so are your rights, © 2010 Brian M Downing, The Agonist
But seriously, folks, if there is time in this workday for only one diversion reading an undiscovered website, (and that ain't funny), perhaps it should be about events of the Thanksgiving JFK was murdered. And if I had discovered it last week, I'd have posted it in Jack's 'JFK memories' thread ... who could have known then it would foreshadow the weekend's 'deep politics' media-manipulation (just in time for advertisers' big spending splash anti-BuyNothingDay) to stir hatred against 'terrorism-ers' (called 'communists' in JFK's time) and stir psychomass mob mentality to torch a mosque down in the Valley?
Who knew?The National Security State and the Assassination of JFK - The CIA, the Pentagon, and the `Peace President`, by Andrew Gavin Marshall, GlobalResearch.ca, November 23, 2010
Posted by Tenskwatawa | November 29, 2010 9:05 AM
For all PDX cityhall's political correctness (sanctuary city status even), geez isn't it surprising certain cultures still hate you. Not really. It's called appeasement; a bad movie often repeated, by gosh, such good intentioned folks.
Posted by Bob Clark | November 29, 2010 9:23 AM
Tenskatawa,
would you please devote your considerable energies to digging up some really juicy stuff out of the latest wiki-leaks haystack?
I already read someplace that, oooooooh, SHOCKER, it appears that some rich Saudis are still bankrolling Al Qaeda!!!
What can one expect from citizens of a country where it is state policy to let 10-year old girls be married to their 80 year old first cousins?
What can one expect from citizens of a country where it is state policy to venerate a man whose favorite wife was six years old when they married? (Union not fully consummated until she reached age 9, tho. Apparently there is a codified Islamic solution to achieving sexual satisfaction with a child bride who hasn't menstruated yet. The husband is instructed to just rub himself on her. This was quoted in a sermon by Ayatolla Khomeini himself.)
What can one expect from citizens of a country where it is state policy to venerate a slaveholder, who once "married" a Jewish princess, in a serious hurry, within hours of his men had capturing her city and beheading her husband, father, and brothers? union consummated that very night. So romantic. This sort of thing has a name. It's called rape. But there's another Islamic solution to that too! A women can't claim rape unless she has four MALES willing to testify that it happened!! Good times!!!
I know! Let's just sell SIXTY BILLION dollars worth of high tech military goods to this country! Let's elect a president who tells us the prettiest sounds he ever heard were the calls to prayer from a mosque! Let's then watch while this bozo bows down deeply, in an act flagrantly at odds with every one of his predecessors in office, to the King of Saudi Arabia!
ON VIDEOTAPE FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE.
Kumbayaaaaaaaaa.......
Posted by gaye harris | November 29, 2010 9:42 AM
This never would have happened if they had given grandma a cavity search.
Posted by Mister Tee | November 29, 2010 9:48 AM
The poor kid was off his nut, and will spend the rest of his life surrounded by headshrinkers, lawyers and prison guards.
Don't be distracted! Keep your eye on the ball:
Bankers Rigging Municipal Contract Bids Admit to Lying to Cover Up Tracks
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2010-11-24/bankers-rigging-municipal-contract-bids-admit-to-lying-to-cover-up-tracks.html
Notable excerpt:
“I had conversations prior to the bid with the broker about who the bidders were going to be and who was going to win or lose,” Campbell, slim with sandy-blond hair, told U.S. District Judge William Pauley.
Taxpayers were the victims because, by fixing the bids, Bank of America, the largest U.S. bank by assets, paid municipalities less than it would have had there been honest auctions. In his Sept. 9 court confession, Campbell, 45, repeatedly told the judge that his illegal actions came at the expense of the public.
“Kind of a common theme here,” the banker said.
Posted by Mojo | November 29, 2010 9:52 AM
They're going to for the death penalty. He parked the van in a Zipcar space.
Posted by Jack Bog | November 29, 2010 9:53 AM
Re: "Surely, let's go laughing all the way to the tanks."
Tenskwatawa, who are you calling "Surely?"
Posted by Gardiner Menefree | November 29, 2010 10:38 AM
They're going to for the death penalty. He parked the van in a Zipcar space.
Death by lethal invection, I suppose.
Posted by Mojo | November 29, 2010 11:42 AM
I thought that van got turned in during the Cash for Clunkers program.
Posted by umpire | November 29, 2010 12:06 PM
He could have parked that van on fourth and Jefferson, you know, to "shake-up" City Hall!
Posted by Bad Brad | November 29, 2010 12:51 PM
He just wanted to be part of a Christmas Tradition.
Posted by Lc Scott | November 29, 2010 1:00 PM
What's the deal? I always go to pieces when Thomas Lauderdale plays.
Posted by concordbridge | November 29, 2010 1:34 PM
Careful there, Tenskwatawa (we know who you are and where you live).
Now Tensk, I need you to push away from your desk, slowly reach into the drawer-I said slowly Tensk!-and take out the ruler.
Now, I want you to rap your knuckles-hard-five times.
I said hard, Tensk, hard!
That's it.
Good-let this be a warning:next time we won't let you off so easily!
Posted by Geoffrey Duin | November 29, 2010 5:44 PM
Mojo, we have this to which to look forward:
http://www.businessinsider.com/the-next-wikileaks-will-be-about-a-major-bank-2010-11#ixzz16iOFFpyI
Speculation is that JPM is not large enough even after its consumption of BS and WaMu. C is one likely subject of revelation, GS another.
Posted by Gardiner Menefree | November 29, 2010 6:04 PM
Latest from desk of Janet Napolitano - We will immediately need a full search of any automobile entering downtown (wipes smile of glee off face as downtown finally gets its death knell. Now homeless will need alternative neighborhood.)
Posted by Steve | November 30, 2010 7:59 AM
Mojo, Robt Mackey, in a NYT blog today, suggests that BAC may be the too-big-to-fail in WikiLeaks' crosshairs:
"To follow up on our 12:35 p.m. update, about the upcoming 'megaleak' of documents from an American bank, our colleagues at the DealBook blog reported this afternoon that Julian Assange said last year that he had obtained data from a Bank of America executive's hard drive. Interviewed at the Hack In The Box security conference in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia in October 2009, Mr. Assange told IDG News Service:
'At the moment, for example, we are sitting on 5GB from Bank of America, one of the executive's hard drives.... Now how do we present that? It's a difficult problem. We could just dump it all into one giant Zip file, but we know for a fact that has limited impact. To have impact, it needs to be easy for people to dive in and search it and get something out of it.'"
Posted by Gardiner Menefree | November 30, 2010 7:27 PM