No problem Randy. After the increased cost of living and property taxes you forced upon us, I'm now living in my car.

I hate to see you harsh on my pals, Mark and Dave. Unconvincing answers from a politician? When does that ever happen?

Mark and Dave had to be somewhat easy on the good commissioner. "What if your radio station was on fire and the fire truck 'broke down'?"

Another of RL's excuses that we've heard before . . . "you can't use sewer money for things other than sewer and water, that's against the law." Bio swales that compliment bike paths and reduce traffic lanes are apparently related to the provision of water, but a fire truck that delivers water to your home or business isn't related to water service. Come on, Randy, use your imagination and bend the rules the other direction.

What I would do in that scenario is very quickly donate my house and take the tax write off.

What I would do in that scenario is very quickly donate my house and take the tax write off.

LOL. Just be sure to document it as a "training opportunity" for the firefighters that responded.

How much general fund revenue goes to the Sustainability efforts?

Take that money, zero out Sustainability, and voila - instant money for fire trucks and all the other stuff that a modern, successful city needs to operate and serve its citizens.

Then throw in city contributions to light rail, the streetcar, the tram and so on...then the real question should be "can we reduce property taxes given the huge surpluses the city generates, and return those surpluses to the residents to stimulate the economy"?

To be truthful, I'm just hoping Mark and Dave will take me out to lunch again soon. (Like that's going to happen.)

Wait, I'm rethinking this whole thing: Come on, guys, man up with Randy. Show some guts. Mark, what are you? 6' 8"? Pick Randy up by the feet and swing him around 'til he starts talking. Remember, bullies always crumble. Maybe Dave could tickle him 'til he gives in:

"Okay, fellows, stop. I admit it - it's all a scam. We're going to use the money for a bicycle fire brigade. There! Are you happy now?"

Randy believes everything any bureaucrat tells him, without applying any due diligence of his own, and immediately becomes an expert lecturing others.

In truth, he's a lazy, dishonest & knee jerk politician who simply enjoys pretending to be tough and knowledgeable.

I remember his nonsensical spiel about SoWa being a toxic wasteland that would never be developed unless the city Urban Renewal millions were spent.

What a dope and a liar.

Other than that he's swell guy.

"Mark and Dave had to be somewhat easy on the good commissioner. "What if your radio station was on fire and the fire truck 'broke down'?"

Or more likely: "What if my Hit Squad needs to come around to your station and look for code violations?"

Award to Snards for having the best understanding of RL's true mentality.

What if, Randy, your house is burning and that new fire truck breaks down? What if, Randy?

Never heard of "Infant Mortality" in new products?

Firebikes. That is the answer, my friends. Firemen on specially-designed bicycles who can utilize the city's vast network of bike lanes, bike boxes and bike corridors to keep us flame free.

You'd think the designer of the "Portland Bum Toilet" could tap into his considerable creative skills to make this a reality.

Firebikes™. There. I own the name now. Let me know when you want to talk, Randy.

After 9/11, the City got some brand new, whizz-bang fire trucks with all the bells and whistles that can serve as mobile command centers and everything else, just in case it ever happened here. Those trucks have never been used.

I'm sure there's a very good reason why we have to have newer new fire trucks and can't use the ones that are just sitting around waiting for a disaster. I'm just not smart enough to know what that reason is.

Michelle -

Get thee over to Station 18 on SW 30th and get yourself a tour of the truck of which you speak.

Very expensive (@$ 600,000 a copy) and could be very use ful in the event of a big earthquake, of Big Pink F falling down, or some similar type disaster. Essentially provides a hospital in a box on wheels, wlong with a lot of chem and other decontamination equiptment.

Ask to see the hoses and pumps on the truck....keep asking....keep asking....maybe some day some will be installed.

Ah well, at least it was a federal check that payed for it, not a city check. That way, every taxpayer in the country got shafted, not just us Portlanders.

All smothered in his extra special sales pitch, "What if your house was on fire and the fire truck broke down?"

What if, Randy??

What if, Randy, your policies are driving the water bureau further into debt, what if we would have to face turning to privatization as a result of your policies?

http://www.citizen.org/documents/ACF146.pdf
In 1998, the city of Atlanta awarded
United Water, a subsidiary of the French
water giant Suez Lyonnaise des Eaux, a
contract to operate the city’s water system.
. .
Moreover, cases of dry or inoperative
fire hydrants have been reported. Again,
United Water did not promptly address the
problem, even though inoperative fire hydrants
could be a matter of life and death. .

What if we had brand new trucks, but dry or inoperative fire hydrants!!
What if, Randy??

Thanks Clinamen for showing us what the future has in store for Portland if things keep going Leonard's way. He'll be long gone on some tax-free beach enjoying his multiple pensions.

Ben - I think you have it backwards - Randy tells the bureaucrats what to say, from what I've heard.