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Monday, August 9, 2010

Name the SoWhat immigration detainee tank

Portland's a great town for its processes in naming public facilities. And so we might as well start thinking about what to call the new federal immigration agency complex about to be installed in the already troubled SoWhat district. It's going to be a place where an undisclosed number of federal detainees sit behind bars awaiting deportation hearings -- but we're not supposed to call it a "jail" because the people in handcuffs won't be there for more than 12 hours at a time, supposedly. The heavy armed-guard presence and double fence might send a different message, however.

Anyway, what should the place be called? And just to get the low-hanging fruit out of the way, we've already got enough stuff in Portland named after César Chávez. In keeping with the federal criminal justice aspect of the place, and the notorious location, the Dike Dame Federal Holding Facility might have a nice ring.

Comments (27)

The Vera Katz Memorial Waterfront Community Center

The Homer Williams Bed and Breakfast

I Don't Have a Passport, SoWhat? Detention Facility

Location #16 on the Portland Streetcar Tour of Homes

"It's going to be a place where an undisclosed number of federal detainees sit behind bars awaiting deportation hearings"

The Sam Adams Re-Education and Voter Recruitment Center.

Free postage included.

"The Sam Adams Re-Education and Voter Recruitment Center" seems a little long. It could hurt T-shirt sales in the gift shop.

If you want to commemorate Mayor Adams, name it "Stalag 17 Going On 18".


Stalagmite 17 going on 18.

the Ice House or better yet, Sam's Living Erogenous Alien Zone. T-shirt sale abound "SLEAZ"

Club-Fed SoWat.

The Lynch Pen?

Hoover PDX Tax Dollars for Naught Building

SoWat Park and Ride

Park your butt in jail then ride the bus to Tacoma.

Chavez makes sense as a name since he opposed illegal immigration...as it undercut the financial success of legitimate immigrants

Guantanamo Pines Inn.

Portland Day Labor Center

"Cesar Chavez Day Labor Center"

with a tip of the hat to both Ben and lars above.

LICE - the Lars Larson Immigration and Customs Enforcement Center

I thought about naming it for Lars. He can probably see it from his studio if the door's open.

Abu Ghraib - Portland center

I'll leave it to Bill McDonald to comment on anything about Lars that might be open.

This got me thinking...

Does anyone remember how a former head of Immigration in Portland was moved/demoted (at least as I recall) because he had the temerity to keep, I think, a German woman without a visa from entering the US?

That was pre-9/11 and pre-Arizona...

The '57 Buick Boat Ramp.

I vote for LICE.... now that is perfect....

I can imagine him down there like Yosemite Sam waving his guns around at everybody. That is if he doesn't get all NIMBY on it 'cause it's a little too close to home.

The Thorny Palace.

Stinking Badges

Mexico Hold'em

Up the River Resort and Detention Center


LICE is definitively the best name! I don't know who this DG guy is but he has a future in advertising! Actually he may need a future if he doesn't get back to work and stop hanging out in this most excellent blog.

Hotel Creepy

The So-Wat movie should be:

"Trams, Tramps and no Automobiles"

Shouldn't that be L'LICE? So culturally specific with the 2 LLs

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