One of the great joys in life is having friends with a sense of humor. Look at what one of our zany buddies left on our front door over the weekend -- a positive howler that on first glance looks real, but on closer inspection couldn't be.
It starts off innocently enough -- a come-on from one of the neighborhood wreckers in the "urban studies" tank at Portland State:
This study "will help Portland and other cities create better neighborhoods"? That must be code for "make your life miserable if you drive a car, and knock down older single-family homes and replace them with condo bunkers." Plus, can you imagine the enormous self-selection bias that such a study would suffer from? It would be so huge as to make the results meaningless. Witness the mom in the photo accompanying her kids to school on her scooter -- we rest our case.
So it's already looking a little hokey. But then you turn it over, and see that it's all just an insane prank:
Ha! Ha! Whoever you are who left this on our door, you had us going there for a while. Good one!
You crack me up.
Comments (19)
The phone number connects you to the Center for Transportation Studies @ PSU and the web page also takes you there. It is all very bike centric.
I wonder??? How many folks will clog the phone lines today want ing that $15 a day for a year?
Maybe the Welches Con Man can sign up and quit scamming on folks.
When your stock photos come from CarFreeDays.com, you are sending a pretty strong signal who you want in your study. I'm saving this page for the peer review process.
In other news: My kids would be pretty mad once they found out that accelerometer didn't make them go any faster.
These people deserve to be shackled and paraded in wooden cages for a few days so they can see how people get around.
See, we live in the age of Kyron Horman and traumatic brain injuries. I would only MAYBE feel safe riding my bike with kids in a fleet of fifty bicycles the way people do in Amsterdam to stay safe, or on bike paths (read, in woods, not next to light rail, buses, trucks, or SUVs.)
Only single people in excellent physical shape, who have never had to take care of drooling human remnants of MVA's, want all this insane focus on bikes. THEY ARE IN THE MINORITY.
The majority, for better or worse, consists of aging people with physical limitations who need to pop a vicodin to go take the dog for a walk. And yes, there are families, and many of them are not going to scooter to the grocery store with their small children. What idiots.
Why don't these people focus on something like alternatives and efficiency innovations for motor-powered transit? Like buses that run really frequently and are smaller and electric, and "fill up" electronically over the telephone/internet. You need your ride to the grocery store or farmers' market at a certain time, driver will come, and know your name too, and help avoid empty huge buses that take up all the room on the road.
Special cars on the max for families, so the kids don't have to listen to the schizophrenic/alcoholic dementia/ bipolar riders swearing and talking about whatever they feel like talking about, usually not copasetic subjects for children.
How does your family get around? We want to know? We only want to know however, if you ride a bicycle, skateboard, scooter, roller blades etc. We only want to know if your choices fit our preconceived notions of how we should all think and behave. Take a hike! er Get Lost!
While waiting to catch my bus home today I observed two occasions where a TriMet bus blew the horn trying to warn/chase off a bicyclist traveling along 6th and blocking the bus. Why bikes (and cars) are allowed on 5th and 6th are still a mystery to me. Ah, for the good ol' days when my bus line intersected with MAX, and didn't run parallel to it...six blocks away. Go By Foot!
Even knowing your current frustration with Portland's livable streets movement, I'm somewhat disappointed to see you bad mouth the work at PSU. Jennifer Dill is actually a pretty well-respected academic nation-wide, and the work that she and PSU's Urban Planning program do are pretty cutting edge and are being emulated across the country. She conducted a report using similar technologies to show how men and women bicyclists use different routes depending on the facilities available, and it really helps show that the unfortunately real gender-gap that exists among cyclists could be mitigated with more bike lanes and cycle paths and the like. I know it's not necessarily your cup of tea, but to denounce the scientific, academic report out of hand seems overtly populist, even for you. In fact, by mocking the study and not actually taking part, you only propogate the "CLEARLY PORTLANDERS ONLY WANT BIKES" message by refusing to get your data into their results.
In fact, by mocking the study and not actually taking part, you only propogate the "CLEARLY PORTLANDERS ONLY WANT BIKES" message by refusing to get your data into their results.
As if the results aren't pre-ordained. "We need more bike lanes! Cars are evil! Children are obese because their parents are driving cars! Save the children -- make driving a miserable experience!"
I stand by my post ridiculing this, because the whole thing is, indeed, quite ridiculous. On self-selection bias alone, if not on many other grounds.
In general, Portland State urban planning is a blight on Portland.
My nephew just completed his first year at PSU. It will be his last.
He is an open-minded individual who was inundated with most classes being agenda oriented. He politely questioned some of his profs about this, and they were astonished, but actually responded favorably to the inquiring mind. But they kept to their agenda. It was "green" throughout without knowing much about it.
His one class in the urban planning department was even more one-sided. And he couldn't believe the "no grade" philosophy of several classes. Just attend, write a few one page papers, and nod. He thought his community college classes he took while in high school were better. Why waist $20,000 to attend PSU, and keep their green myth alive?
Charamba, Douro 2008
Horse Heaven Hills, Cabernet 2010
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills Pinot Grigio 2011
Avignonesi, Montepulciano 2004
Lorelle, Willamette Valley Pinot Noir 2011
Villa Antinori, Toscana 2007
Mercedes Eguren, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Lorelle, Columbia Valley Cabernet 2011
Purple Moon, Merlot 2011
Purple Moon, Chardonnnay 2011
Abacela, Vintner's Blend No. 12
Opula Red Blend 2010
Liberte, Pinot Noir 2010
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Indian Wells Red Blend 2010
Woodbridge, Chardonnay 2011
King Estate, Pinot Noir 2011
Famille Perrin, Cotes du Rhone Villages 2010
Columbia Crest, Les Chevaux Red 2010
14 Hands, Hot to Trot White Blend
Familia Bianchi, Malbec 2009
Terrapin Cellars, Pinot Gris 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2009
Campo Viejo, Rioja, Termpranillo 2010
Ravenswood, Cabernet Sauvignon 2009
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2010
Waterbrook, Reserve Merlot 2009
Lorelle, Horse Heaven Hills, Pinot Grigio 2011
Tarantas, Rose
Chateau Lajarre, Bordeaux 2009
La Vielle Ferme, Rose 2011
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio 2011
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir 2009
Lello, Douro Tinto 2009
Quinson Fils, Cotes de Provence Rose 2011
Anindor, Pinot Gris 2010
Buenas Ondas, Syrah Rose 2010
Les Fiefs d'Anglars, Malbec 2009
14 Hands, Pinot Gris 2011
Conundrum 2012
Condes de Albarei, Albariño 2011
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2007
Penelope Sanchez, Garnacha Syrah 2010
Canoe Ridge, Merlot 2007
Atalaya do Mar, Godello 2010
Vega Montan, Mencia
Benvolio, Pinot Grigio
Nobilo Icon, Pinot Noir, Marlborough 2009
Portuga, Rose 2011
Revelation, Chardonnay, Pays d'Oc 2010
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 2005
Monte Alto, Tinto Reserva 2005
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Cabernet, Indian Wells 2009
Espiral, Vinho Rose
Vin-Koru, Pinot Gris 2011
14 Hands, Hot to Trot Red 2009
Rodney Strong, Cabernet, Sonoma 2009
Abacela, Vintner's Blend #11
Portuga, White 2010
La Bourgeoisie, Red 2009
Januik, Red 2009
Three Rivers, River's Red 2008
Kirkland, Alexander Valley Merlot 2008
Muga, Rioja Rose 2010
Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2009
Mauro Molino, Barbera d'Alba 2009
Garda Chiaretto Rose
Columbia Crest, Two Vines Vineyard 10 White
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Pinot Gris, Columbia Valley 2009
L'Hortus, Rose de Saignee 2010
Maculan, Pino & Toi 2008
McKinley Springs, Bombing Range Red 2008
Trader Joe's Pinot Gris 2009
Montes Alpha, Cabernet 2007
Gran Sasso, Sangiovese, Terre di Chieti 2009
Garda, Classico Chiaretto Rose
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 1999
Picos del Montgo, Tempranillo 2008
Chateau de Montmirail, Vacqueyras 2008
La Granja 360, Syrah 2009
Montgras, Carmenere Reserva 2009
Lange, Pinot Gris 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Cabernet 2008
Kirkland, Pinot Grigio 2010
Trader Joe's Coastal Syrah 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Merlot 2008
Trader Joe's Coastal Chardonnay 2009
Vieux Papes Red
Domaine de l'Aujardiere, Chardonnay 2009
Santa Rita, Cabernet, Medalla Real 2007
Penfold's, Koonunga Hill Shiraz Cabernet 2008
Guild, Red, Lot #02 2008
Dievole, Dievolino Sangiovese 2008
Laforet, Burgogne Chardonnay 2009
Columbia Winery, Merlot 2007
Bonterra, Cabernet 2008
Elk Cove, Pinot Gris 2009
Maquis Lien 2006
Scott Paul, Pinot Noir, Le Paulee 2007
The Occasional Book
Neil Young - Waging Heavy Peace
Mark Bego - Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul (2012 ed.)
Jenny Lawson - Let's Pretend This Never Happened
J.D. Salinger - Franny and Zooey
Charles Dickens - A Christmas Carol
Timothy Egan - The Big Burn
Deborah Eisenberg - Transactions in a Foreign Currency
Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - Slaughterhouse Five
Kathryn Lance - Pandora's Genes
Cheryl Strayed - Wild
Fyodor Dostoyevsky - The Brothers Karamazov
Jack London - The House of Pride, and Other Tales of Hawaii
Jack Walker - The Extraordinary Rendition of Vincent Dellamaria
Colum McCann - Let the Great World Spin
Niccolò Machiavelli - The Prince
Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird
Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus - The Nanny Diaries
Brian Selznick - The Invention of Hugo Cabret
Sharon Creech - Walk Two Moons
Keith Richards - Life
F. Sionil Jose - Dusk
Natalie Babbitt - Tuck Everlasting
Justin Halpern - S#*t My Dad Says
Mark Herrmann - The Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law
Barry Glassner - The Gospel of Food
Phil Stanford - The Peyton-Allan Files
Jesse Katz - The Opposite Field
Evelyn Waugh - Brideshead Revisited
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
David Sedaris - Holidays on Ice
Donald Miller - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
Mitch Albom - Have a Little Faith
C.S. Lewis - The Magician's Nephew
F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby
William Shakespeare - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Ivan Doig - Bucking the Sun
Penda Diakité - I Lost My Tooth in Africa
Grace Lin - The Year of the Rat
Oscar Hijuelos - Mr. Ives' Christmas
Madeline L'Engle - A Wrinkle in Time
Steven Hart - The Last Three Miles
David Sedaris - Me Talk Pretty One Day
Karen Armstrong - The Spiral Staircase
Charles Larson - The Portland Murders
Adrian Wojnarowski - The Miracle of St. Anthony
William H. Colby - Long Goodbye
Steven D. Stark - Meet the Beatles
Phil Stanford - Portland Confidential
Rick Moody - Garden State
Jonathan Schwartz - All in Good Time
David Sedaris - Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Anthony Holden - Big Deal
Robert J. Spitzer - The Spirit of Leadership
James McManus - Positively Fifth Street
Jeff Noon - Vurt
Road Work
Miles run year to date: 21
At this date last year: 52
Total run in 2012: 129
In 2011: 113
In 2010: 125
In 2009: 67
In 2008: 28
In 2007: 113
In 2006: 100
In 2005: 149
In 2004: 204
In 2003: 269
Comments (19)
The phone number connects you to the Center for Transportation Studies @ PSU and the web page also takes you there. It is all very bike centric.
I wonder??? How many folks will clog the phone lines today want ing that $15 a day for a year?
Maybe the Welches Con Man can sign up and quit scamming on folks.
Posted by portland native | July 12, 2010 8:21 AM
Can we assume the direction of the next set of trolley tracks will be determined by the results of this faultless study?
Posted by Abe | July 12, 2010 8:31 AM
Their site even leaves fastudy.pdx,edu "cookies" behind in your browser! Gotta get all that data any way you can.
Posted by Stu | July 12, 2010 8:37 AM
Self-selection bias is right.
When your stock photos come from CarFreeDays.com, you are sending a pretty strong signal who you want in your study. I'm saving this page for the peer review process.
In other news: My kids would be pretty mad once they found out that accelerometer didn't make them go any faster.
Posted by Garage Wine | July 12, 2010 9:33 AM
Good grief. Who really wants to spend his time thinking about such things? This town needs some real jobs...
Posted by dg | July 12, 2010 9:50 AM
My urologist wants the data to know where(GPS) and how fast(Accelerometer) my hips are moving....
Posted by dman | July 12, 2010 10:05 AM
These people deserve to be shackled and paraded in wooden cages for a few days so they can see how people get around.
See, we live in the age of Kyron Horman and traumatic brain injuries. I would only MAYBE feel safe riding my bike with kids in a fleet of fifty bicycles the way people do in Amsterdam to stay safe, or on bike paths (read, in woods, not next to light rail, buses, trucks, or SUVs.)
Only single people in excellent physical shape, who have never had to take care of drooling human remnants of MVA's, want all this insane focus on bikes. THEY ARE IN THE MINORITY.
The majority, for better or worse, consists of aging people with physical limitations who need to pop a vicodin to go take the dog for a walk. And yes, there are families, and many of them are not going to scooter to the grocery store with their small children. What idiots.
Why don't these people focus on something like alternatives and efficiency innovations for motor-powered transit? Like buses that run really frequently and are smaller and electric, and "fill up" electronically over the telephone/internet. You need your ride to the grocery store or farmers' market at a certain time, driver will come, and know your name too, and help avoid empty huge buses that take up all the room on the road.
Special cars on the max for families, so the kids don't have to listen to the schizophrenic/alcoholic dementia/ bipolar riders swearing and talking about whatever they feel like talking about, usually not copasetic subjects for children.
Posted by gaye harris | July 12, 2010 10:51 AM
How does your family get around? We want to know? We only want to know however, if you ride a bicycle, skateboard, scooter, roller blades etc. We only want to know if your choices fit our preconceived notions of how we should all think and behave. Take a hike! er Get Lost!
Posted by Dean | July 12, 2010 12:24 PM
Shoot me and put me out of my misery... or deport all of them to Holland(kiddie hall and its stupid development and transportation wonks)
Hmmmmm
Posted by LucsAdvo | July 12, 2010 12:28 PM
Sadly, it looks real to me.
Posted by Michael | July 12, 2010 1:21 PM
Announcement of selection process for design of Soviet style ghettos for people with mobility limitations in ...five...four...three...two...
Posted by Shirley U. Jest | July 12, 2010 8:01 PM
While waiting to catch my bus home today I observed two occasions where a TriMet bus blew the horn trying to warn/chase off a bicyclist traveling along 6th and blocking the bus. Why bikes (and cars) are allowed on 5th and 6th are still a mystery to me. Ah, for the good ol' days when my bus line intersected with MAX, and didn't run parallel to it...six blocks away. Go By Foot!
Posted by Old Zeb | July 12, 2010 8:16 PM
Even knowing your current frustration with Portland's livable streets movement, I'm somewhat disappointed to see you bad mouth the work at PSU. Jennifer Dill is actually a pretty well-respected academic nation-wide, and the work that she and PSU's Urban Planning program do are pretty cutting edge and are being emulated across the country. She conducted a report using similar technologies to show how men and women bicyclists use different routes depending on the facilities available, and it really helps show that the unfortunately real gender-gap that exists among cyclists could be mitigated with more bike lanes and cycle paths and the like. I know it's not necessarily your cup of tea, but to denounce the scientific, academic report out of hand seems overtly populist, even for you. In fact, by mocking the study and not actually taking part, you only propogate the "CLEARLY PORTLANDERS ONLY WANT BIKES" message by refusing to get your data into their results.
Posted by ambrown | July 12, 2010 9:54 PM
Whaddya bet they don't send any to households east of I-205?
Posted by Michelle | July 12, 2010 9:57 PM
In fact, by mocking the study and not actually taking part, you only propogate the "CLEARLY PORTLANDERS ONLY WANT BIKES" message by refusing to get your data into their results.
As if the results aren't pre-ordained. "We need more bike lanes! Cars are evil! Children are obese because their parents are driving cars! Save the children -- make driving a miserable experience!"
I stand by my post ridiculing this, because the whole thing is, indeed, quite ridiculous. On self-selection bias alone, if not on many other grounds.
In general, Portland State urban planning is a blight on Portland.
Posted by Jack Bog | July 12, 2010 10:08 PM
ambrown: Dill's work may be "cutting edge." Nevertheless it seems to pointed to the same solutions that Mr. BoJack disdains.
These are just the bike publications on Professor Dill's website:
Infrastructure, Programs and Policies to Increase Cycling: An International Review
Bicycling for Transportation and Health: The Role of Infrastructure
Factors affecting bicycling demand: Initial survey findings from the Portland region.
Bicycle Commuting and Facilities in Major U.S. Cities: If You Build Them, Commuters Will Use Them
Posted by Garage Wine | July 13, 2010 7:14 AM
"In general, Portland State urban planning is a blight on Portland."
Step right up, Jack, the prize is 100 virtual kewpie dolls for that prize quote. (Menaing I love it).
For the lovers of PSU planning, how much Kool-Aid did you drink and when did you drink it?
Posted by LucsAdvo | July 13, 2010 12:37 PM
My nephew just completed his first year at PSU. It will be his last.
He is an open-minded individual who was inundated with most classes being agenda oriented. He politely questioned some of his profs about this, and they were astonished, but actually responded favorably to the inquiring mind. But they kept to their agenda. It was "green" throughout without knowing much about it.
His one class in the urban planning department was even more one-sided. And he couldn't believe the "no grade" philosophy of several classes. Just attend, write a few one page papers, and nod. He thought his community college classes he took while in high school were better. Why waist $20,000 to attend PSU, and keep their green myth alive?
Posted by Lee | July 14, 2010 5:57 PM
I wonder too about a possible unhealthy relationship between PSU and the city. I am concerned that the city's agenda is being driven at PSU.
Did not Katz and Kafoury teach there after they left Council?
Will Sam and Randy be next?
Feel sorry for your nephew with the inquiring mind to be surrounded by this. Good for him to leave.
Posted by clinamen | July 17, 2010 8:23 PM