"Attention -- this is Fireman Randy -- this is an emergency" (Jack Bog's Blog)

The City of Portland conveniently used last Thanksgiving weekend's "boil your drinking water" E. coli scare as an excuse to go out immediately for bid on a massive money outlay (one would guess eight figures) to hire out an emergency call system that would alert the public of crises and disasters by telephone and text message. Apparently TV, radio, and the city's embarrassing army of paid official bloggers and Tweeters isn't enough. In order to be sure that the city reaches the 73 little old ladies who aren't reachable by such means, we will now call everybody's cell phone, too.

Is this project really necessary? And this is the City of Portland buying computers -- is there any chance that the system would actually work? Please, comrades, when Great Leader and Dear Father Randy is speaking, do not ask those questions. Or any questions, for that matter.

Anyway, 14 firms have lined up, licking their chops to sell the city their spendy wares on this one. None of them are local. Here is the complete list. Details on what they're offering and how much it will cost are not yet available. And as always, the question how on earth we can realistically expect to pay for their product will probably never be asked, much less answered. It builds the Sam-Rand Empire, and that's all that counts any more. Throw another 20 on your water bill! And go by streetcar!

Comments (8)

We already have KATU2 KOIN6 KGW8 FOX12 plus radio stations to get the word out if there is a public crisis or disaster. All of which have their own Twitter followers. Plus Bojack Storm Center.

Posted by got logic? | February 25, 2010 7:17 AM

OK, new game. 10 points for each relative/friend of Randy's on that list!

High score wins the contract.

Posted by Steve | February 25, 2010 8:54 AM

I'm guessing the 73 old ladies don't have cell phones, or (if they do) they don't respond to unknown callers or listen to their voicemails.

If you aren't plugged in to any of the existing breaking news outlets, a robo-dialer is unlikely to have much impact.

What we really need is "Batphones" with flashing red lights in every Portland dwelling.

Posted by Mister Tee | February 25, 2010 10:23 AM

Another emergency they can find money for (from today's O):

Portland City Council calls out feds on FCC rule that speeds up reviews of cell towers
...
The resolution adopted by the Portland council authorizes the city attorney's office to represent Portland in a petition by the city of Arlington, Texas, in the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, challenging the FCC. The council approved an initial amount of $1,000 for the challenge.

The vote was unanimous, with Commissioners Fish, Dan Saltzman and Randy Leonard voting yes. Commissioner Amanda Fritz was visiting family in England, and Mayor Sam Adams was in Washington, D.C.

Leonard went so far as to propose a strict map of where wireless facilities can and can't go in the city....

Portland, following state law, allows for 120 days to review all land-use applications, including wireless stations....

Brian Josef, director of regulatory affairs in Washington, D.C., for CTIA, said he's puzzled by the council's action given that the 120-day deadline is shorter than the 150 days allotted in the new rule.

Call me crazy, but why are they getting all up-in-arms to dispute a timeline that allows more time than their own? And aren't these the same people who authorized the now failed wifi system that they're getting bids now to remove?

Posted by Bartender | February 25, 2010 10:38 AM

"Here is the complete list."

One more note to Randy - Buy local.

Posted by Steve | February 25, 2010 11:52 AM

I'm guessing it's going to be cheaper to just install big ol' emergency sirens on telephone poles every quarter-mile throughout the city.

Posted by Kari Chisholm | February 25, 2010 12:12 PM

The City of Portland only exists to amuse us nonresidents.

Mark Sherman

Posted by Maddog | February 25, 2010 2:07 PM

Any takers for the budget hearings?:

http://www.portlandonline.com/oni/?c=29385&a=288014

Posted by Gardiner Menefree | February 25, 2010 10:58 PM