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Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Pearlies don't want a Randy potty under their balconies

Quintessential Portland comedy here.

UPDATE, 5:30 p.m.: All the juicy details here.

Comments (27)

Yeah, real funny. So funny I forgot to laugh!

226 Pearl residents complain and Randy is there for them. When hundreds of Lents people do as the Pearlies, he holds them in contempt.

No, beneath contempt.

So funny I forgot to laugh!

No, you should laugh. Randy is going to stick a loo somewhere in the Pearl, whether the neighbors like it or not. Laugh and sing along:

Bums in the District, what shall I do?
Outside the condo, going no. 2?
Bums in the District, what shall I do?
Stick you with a loo, my Pearlies

Loo, loo, stick you with a loo
Loo, loo, stick you with a loo
Loo, loo, stick you with a loo
Stick you with a loo, my Pearlies

The Lents people ran the Courageous (but No Longer Certified) Fireman out of their neighborhood on a rail. And like you, they won't be forgetting what he tried to pull. It's all good.

Commissioner Nick Fish said Leonard wasn't the only champion of public restrooms on the council.

Wow. We have *two* "champions of public restrooms" in City Hall? I can't believe our good fortune.

The price of one "loo" could feed and clothe several hundred homeless folks for years. Seriously.

"Um, it was my understanding that I was buying an expensive condo in a faux urban neighborhood, not a real urban neighborhood."

Well, actually, I did laugh, after a moment of incredulity. Part of the laugh was at me for even being in any state of disbelief. Especially after the faux E coli scare.

Great lyrics, Jack! (ROTFLMAO!)

They should stop thinking of it as a "loo" but as an inter-active piece of public sculpture. It fuses the inorganic with the organic in a sculptural form that follows bodily functions if you will.

I know, maybe the Pearlies will buy off on the idea if we put a neon rose on top of the new loo?

Did I miss something? How can a city that is $5.5B in debt be diddling around with frivolous nonsense like this?
I'd kinda like to have one of those front-loading washing machines, but I looked at the bank balance and said "oh well, can't afford it" and I still make due with my five-year-old Kenmore.

a sculptural form that follows bodily functions if you will.

I don't think I will, but thanks.


First the train noise...Now the public toilets...

Do they intend to open their buildings and the toilets on the first floor to the general public?

No? Then tough ship.

If they stop the placement, then I think that those in need should be encouraged to piss on the buildings and crap on the sidewalk...

No...wait...that can get you Chassed.

Okay...How about we start a bidding process to see who is willing to pay the most to NOT have it near their building?

Better yet, make it a portable structure and we could have regular bidding wars, with the building with the lowest bids winning the toilet for another month...or whatever period.

All the money raised can go to fund more portable 'loos'.

O. My. Dog. It's a leveraged deal!

Skip to the loo, my Pearlies.

Your image could be realized with a choice grant from RACC for some 20-something Alan Bennett / Ernst Lubitsch-type, to write / produce the screwball comedy.

Imagine, a doyenne of Flanders Street, smoking a polite joint and peering down from her condo balcony at the denizens of the sidewalk, perhaps snapping away with her iphone, twitters her neighborhood rent-a-cop to intervene; add Merritt Paulson, Tom Greenwood, a half dozen whippets, a vegan hippy CSA delivery girl, Randy in a firesuit, and a third act walk on by Greg Oden & Storm Large.

Sometimes you can convert silliness to inspiration.

The new Portland word is "deescalate." We need to find a way to deescalate this situation. The meaning varies but it's essentially politicians covering their butts.
I like RANZ's idea of putting a neon rose on top of the toilet. Who knows?
That could become an iconic linchpin drawing tourists from around the world.
The thousands of people who travel here to see the tram won't last forever.

226 people complained, wow. Please remind me again how many people complained about renaming 39th street, 'couse they don't have any money to donate to re-election campaigns

If a public toilet is a "right", as Randy put it, where are the rest of them downtown? Didnt the small building in Chapman Square used to be a public toilet?
And if it was, why was it closed?
For the money spent so far, they could probably operate 100 "Honey Buckets" all over downtown for a few years.

Here's a basic question:

How was the need for "loos" determined? Because if there's a "need" for a fantastically expensive public toilet at that location, where do people at that location use the bathroom now? Because I have yet to see any meaningful evidence of people using the sidewalk or other places there.

Let's be honest--this is an arbitrary decision, and a very, very expensive one. Fish and Leonard like pet issues, and this is definitely one. It has *nothing* to do with some selfless act of helping the homeless.

Want some proof? Ask City Hall how much the existing "loo" gets used. Watch them scratch their heads. Listen as they make up statistics. Then, as you're leaving, ask them why the existing "loo" cost as much as a modest house in Portland.

I have a solution.

Perhaps commissioner Steroid has a friend, neighbor or family member who sells these precious loos? Hmm? a little under the table commission for every loo placed in the city? Just supposin' ....

So, if the Pearlies won't play ball with Leonard should we presume the HIT squad will be visiting some condo towers?

Bwaaa hahahhaa! I have been waiting for this ever since that first crapper went up. How long before City Council tries to force more social engineering? That's what this is. Making sure the have-nots (homeless, drug addicts, bums, petty criminals, street punks,etc.) have a foothold in the toney sections of town. It's all part of egalitarian utopia the dreamers of this city have visions of.

The Pearl residents better watch out. If City has it's way there will be mandate that 20% of all condo buildings must house homeless or drug rehab.
Force everyone to just get along. YOu don't like it? Tough! Move to 'burbs. That's their attitude.
As for "where are the chiiiilllldren going to go potty?" Same place they do now. In the fountain.
The whole 'it's for the kids' line is bunk. That toilet is for homeless and everyone knows it.

I find it hilarious and so interesting the Pearlites are up in arms. You wanted to live in urban core, idiots, now deal with all that entails. Didn't the snotty parents there 'demand' a school for their pwecious spawn? Then the whining over train noise? Gimme a break.

Here's a clue-by-four: If you live in Pearl District you are going to suffer the street bums and punks because the bleeding hearts you vote in office pander to them and roll out a welcome mat. Embrace it. It's only going to get worse.
Join hands and sing.

The Pearl residents better watch out. If City has it's way there will be mandate that 20% of all condo buildings must house homeless or drug rehab.

They already tried that. A percentage of the development in that area was supposed to be "affordable housing." Anyone seen any?

The Pearlites can go suck it. They move to the middle of an urban area, then try and turn it into a suburb. And remember when they were trying to evict the freaking main post office? Can't have it both ways. Too bad you are stuck in your over-priced little sky-boxes now in this economy. Don't make it everyone elses problem.

The Loo is for the hordes of lil kids who frolick in the fountain [and currently wizz in it] , talk about your E.COLI.

If some mommie discovers that her toddler is drinking from the same fountain that another kid is whizzing in , Randy will have qa big azz lawsuit

What part of gentrification does City Council not understand?

The "Pearl" was enabled by city leaders so developers could build dense, upscale, mixed-use buildings to serve the apparent "needs" of more affluent residents. This was explicit, intentional, and well-known.

Now that it's built, and is approaching capacity, City Council members like Fish admonish residents not to "sigh or roll their eyes" when getting a condescending lecture about how the less fortunate need "loos", and the struggle to find places to feed and shelter the homeless.

That's right, flks--Fish is lecturing Pearl residents to not be who they are--the middle-to-upper class residents who were *fervently courted to live there*.

There is a fraction of "affordable" housing in the Pearl; it's a token amount, and residents can rarely afford to shop for even the most basic necessities in their own neighborhood. The City is on the record as saying "well, they can take the Streetcar to the southwest side and visit Safeway".

This, folks, is a beautiful example of the farcical, ironic, and arrogant nature of popular urban planning. You build for everybody but the "lower class", then admonish those who don't want to provide for the lower class.

Perhaps commissioner Steroid has a friend, neighbor or family member who sells these precious loos? Hmm?

Couldn't tell if this was tongue-in-cheek or not, but these are the loos RL "designed," filed a patent for, and is trying to market around the country, right? The Merc did a piece on it about a month ago.

Here it is: "Randy Leonard is in the loo business."

The loo and all the other social service agencies that Fish and other council members are trying to foist on the Pearl is merely an attempt to have another urban renewal continuation for the Pearl.

You see, PDC and the Council have successfully built up neighborhoods, then they tear them down with social engineering and couplets, or whatever they can jigger, and then they declare another urban renewal effort needs to be made for the same neighborhood. It's about a 20 year cycle.

It's happened with downtown, the skidmore area, ChinaTown/Old Town, the Rose Quarter, and now with the area around PSU-you know, the seriously blighted area-PSU.

It just keeps the same old developers and planners continously busy, and they keep the same type of politicians in business, and the taxpayers keep on paying for the same things over and over-cure the "blight".

"loo, loo, stick you with a loo."

This is great. Just the comic relief I needed. Now the homeless can hop on a streetcar and go up the to the Pearl to use the loo. It's so equitable, so sustainable, so...Portland. And soooo funny.

I think Snards said it best:

"Um, it was my understanding that I was buying an expensive condo in a faux urban neighborhood, not a real urban neighborhood."


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