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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

From bad to worse

I am so glad that my time as a cigarette smoker was a short one -- around four years in my teens. Started with Marlboros -- doesn't everyone? -- then moved on to Larks and Winstons, finally settling on L&Ms. (Kools were too scary, but everybody knew somebody who smoked them.) After a while, I could feel them wrecking my lungs, and it scared me enough to stop. I flirted a little with them again in my mid-20s, but they've been gone since then. Nowadays, even the occasional small cigar makes me a little ill.

Recently, the passage of laws forbidding smoking in public places has resulted in some of worst dive bars becoming tolerable again, without the smoke. Cheap hootch by the drink and slot machines -- now, there's a different kind of hazard.

Anyway, an alert reader points out that a new, "fire-safe" type of cigarette is being foisted on the puffing public, by governmental mandate, and the new smokes are not going over well with the addicted consumers. Sympathy seems highly unlikely to be forthcoming.

Comments (10)

These have been the law in Oregon for about a year or so now. Worst thing is, they go out when you're trying to ash out the car window to keep the smoke away from the other passengers.

Ah yes, I remember "Step Up To A Lark". Most of the brands I smoked (till 1987) have no gone the way of the dodo (or Marlboro man for that matter). Remember Vantage (White package with blue target)? How about Chesterfields? How about LSMFT? In Japan I fondly remember Golden Bats and Mild Seven. My friend in Japan made a bundle selling Harley Davidson branded butts as well as Deans (James of course). All in all, however I don't miss the coffin nails.

The worst thing about the fire safe laws is that you can't get interesting imports like Gauloises any more...

I quit 6 months ago, but I sure wanted to smoke one more pack of those before then end... Oh well, had more than my fair share in high school.

I remember "Step Up To A Lark".

Remember "Show Us Your Lark Pack"? Then there was "Have a Lark Today," sung to the tune of the William Tell Overture...

No Camels?

God I despise cigarettes! Just a chance to vent. Smoked for about 8 years. Spent a miserable year quitting (turns out cold turkey is the way to go -- the gum made the quitting all the more prolonged, as you maintain the addiction even though you've stopped smoking cigarettes). Literally, I had a cigarette at my bachelor's party, because it was late and I was drunk, and it didn't matter since I wasn't addicted anymore. Now, four weeks later, much to my surprise, having to "quit" again. God, these damn awful things.

My first cigarette was a Camel straight. I was five, and the parents thought aversion therapy would work. I liked being dizzy!

I still have a pack of Death cigarettes, a Danish export popular in the '90s. They were like Pall Mall non-filters, and the surgeon general's warning was explicit: Don't smoke these. They will kill you.

My co-worker bought an electric cigarette. (His building doesn't allow smoking, so he has to walk down six flights of stairs.)The e-cig "isn't the same," but it beats chewin'tebacky in a teabag, or worse yet, those new Camel nicotine pellets. (Want to try them? Inquire at your local c-store. Camel is promoting the hell out of them. They're vile.)

The upside is my buddy is getting lots of exercise with his American Spirits...

"How about LSMFT?"

Of course, that meant "Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobaccos."

But for us grade school kids it stood for "Loose Straps Mean Floppy T_ts."

How about the variations of "Winston Tastes Good, Like a (boom boom) Cigarette Should!"Like"Winston Tastes Awful Like a Soggy Wet Waffle."

And one of the most famous cigarette ads of all time:


No wonder I was hooked at a young age. Fortunately, I'm long over that.

My first cigs were Camels without filter. My little brother stole them from our grandfather. I did Marlboro s for a bit before settling in on Benson & Hedges. Liked the length (even if they cost a bit more). Quit smoking in my 20s. Got this ultimatum from someone I loved at the time. Me or the cigarettes. No brainer. I quit. Last time I tried one was in a bar long ago. Someone left a pack of B&H lying around. I thought why not. One drag was more than enough to convince never to try it again

As for you D. Reformed smokers are the worst. And it pisses me off when people hold their smokes out their car windows getting smoke and ashes in my car on city streets. Don't share you coffin nail reek with others who don't smoke and don't ride in your vehicle.

"it pisses me off when people hold their smokes out their car windows getting smoke and ashes in my car on city streets"

You're driving your car and you're among other cars and you get pissed off about the cigarette smoke coming from the other cars? The cigarette smoke!? What exactly do you think's coming out of all those exhaust pipes, and by how many orders of magnitude do you think it exceeds the amount of pollutants coming from the drive-by cigarette?

As you said, Mr. Reformed Smoker, reformed smokers are the worst.

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