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Thursday, June 11, 2009

Substitute the 'Couv for Bellevue...

... and the six things you can't say in Seattle will be verboten in Portland as well. But are there other, uniquely Portland, things you can't say? [Via Type Like the Wind.]

Comments (24)

#7 Portland is essentially a smaller version of Seattle.

How about "Good God, Portland's music scene sucks. Can we get any more hipsters whining about how their mommies won't let them charge heroin to her American Express?"?

Now, there's also the ever-popular "Let's grab a brisket and fire up the grille," "Good thing that jaywalker got ticketed, before some poor motorist was held responsible for his death," and "What's up with the number of teenage bums with dogs and cats with them?" For my money, though, the best inappropriate comment would have to be "And why do Portland bicyclists have to be such brats all the time?"

"Those cyclists are in my way"
"Sexual trysts with minors is wrong"
"This music is for wusses"
"We only import the finest foods"
"Did the schools ever have enough money?"
"Sure got my money's worth from the water bureau"

Oh, and we can't forget "And what the hell is up with Portlanders' thin skins about constructive criticism? Do they have that much of a problem with hearing an honest assessment?"

I don't know about a couple of those sayings... I suppose recycling is as much of a hassle as not dumping your trash in your front yard. I could see that some folks would like the simplicity of wallowing in all their trash, but as a society I think we're better off dealing with it in a responsible way.

DogDoo... Portland owners now are much better about cleaning it up than they were 10-20 yrs ago...

Republicans.... They used to be a viable and respectable bunch here in Oregon.... until moderation became a four letter word...

The 'Couv... Well, not much to say there...

"MAX is 'neat' but actually not very useful. I only ride it about once every two years because my kids think it is fun."
"The Streetcar is 'neat' but actually not very useful. I only ride it about once every two years because my kids think it is fun. Walking is faster, anyway."
"The Pearl District is 'neat' but I never actually go there because I have kids and everything is too expensive."
"It's not the city that works, it's the city that meets."
"I like Seattle better."

"What's the deal with hating Californians and blaming them for everything that's bad here? Aren't people allowed to live where they want? And haven't most major cities grown in the last few decades?"

I made people leave a social gathering once with that one.

"Sales tax". No matter how the phrase is used. Unless it's preceeded by the word "no".

"Our Trusted Leaders at City Hall"

The City That Works.*

* You can say it all you want, but it doesn't make it true.

"I have a real job."

Jack, that one is funny!!!!! Sad that it is true.

"I grew up here."

"I remember what it was like before all you outsiders got here."

What a bunch of whiny-ass cliches. I suppose it's all bike-riding, recycling-conscious Democrats who are listening to Lars Larson, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity on the radio on Portland stations.

Sure, Republicans are in the minority in Portland, but why are they such babies about it? Waaaah, we're sooooo oppressed!!

"Whaddya mean, it's not 'men-touring'?"

"baby boomers are the greediest generation."


What makes you think Portland is pretentious?"

"Hey, could you turn down the music a little? It's 3 in the morning on a Tuesday, and some of us have to go to work in the morning."

"I moved here from the East Coast in the 70s and I'm really happy to see all these kids move here just like I did back in the day."

"I think tall bikes are stupid."

Number 3 rings true. Everyone who is friendly, honest and human is a stalker or worse.

The cities in the Pacific Northwest have beoome cariacatures of anything real or normal.
In the rural parts of the state, people can still see right through this idiocy. People are still human and humane.

1. "I'm so proud of our mayor."

2. "I can't wait to re-elect our City Council members."

3. "I love swimming in the river on a hot day. So refreshing!"

4. "Those bikes sure do screw up traffic."

5. "Paper or plastic? I'll take plastic. And can you double-bag?"

6. "I'll just take MAX. It's faster."

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