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Saturday, April 4, 2009

Comedy gold

Monkeys on the loose from the OHSU lab in Beaverton.

Comments (11)

They can take the train, but can they swim? Vancouver suddenly looks a lot better, doesn't it?

Metro just added the four of them to its projections of creative class in-migration.

Not to worry. The fare inspectors will get 'em when they show up on the platform without a ticket.

Mrs. T spent some quality time at the OHSU emergency room last night.

We saw several clowns there (including the poor security guard who explains to the healthy kids they can't go into the entertainment filled pediatric waiting room because they're not sick). It was so tempting to my four year old: three big screens blared away on the other side of the glass door, broadcasting only to an empty room full of toys.

Bad news: Mrs. T has gallstones and doctors said she should have her gallbladder removed sooner, not later.

Anybody have a favorite gallbladder surgeon to recommend?

Oh stop monkeying around.

This is serious.

Ever see the movie Outbreak?

About a deadly virus brought by an escaped monkey.

However, what would be really funny is if the monkey did what that Jack's photoshop shows and that Coyote on Max a few years back.
Only different.

Money see monkey do,
take the Tram to OHSU.
When you get there,
pull up a chair
and enjoy the lovely view.

No if anyone thinks they can out stupid me I'd like to see it.
Good day.


Mister Tee, good luck with Mrs. T.

I watched the news tonight and they said all but one monkey has been recaptured. That's right out of so many movies where do you begin?
Outbreak even had the one monkey as the key.
Dr. Strangelove had all the B-52s called back or destroyed but one.

You can picture the scene:
DOCTOR: Tremendous news. All the monkeys have been caught or destroyed.
OHSU BOSS: Great, so all 11 are accounted for?
DOCTOR: 11? I thought you said there were 10?
(Dramatic music)
SCIENTIST: Don't worry. The monkeys are programmed to die of the virus within 48 hours of escaping.
OHSI BOSS: So there is absolutely no way for the virus to spread?
SCIENTIST: I assure you, this is 100% safe - it can not fail. The system is completely reliable.

It's evening up at the zoo. The escaped monkey lays a branch over a fence, and crawls into the cage of a zoo monkey. The two beasts begin humping furiously. The OHSU monkey finishes and then keels over dead. The other monkey looks
at the camera, her eyes glow red for a second, then she climbs the branch and scampers out of the cage, heading down the Sunset Highway, with the next Great Plague safely tucked into her womb.

Outbreak 2: The Pandemic.

Monkey's don't seem like very serious business to me: must be all the Curious George indoctrination.

Just send the man in the yellow hat to find him: easy schmeazy.

Well, as of this evening all the monkeys have been rounded up. OHSU made a big point of explaining that these monkeys are a part of the "breeding population" and not experimental animals. It is not the first time that they've staged a break.

They apparently carry Hep B which doesn't bother them but can be passed, through handling, to humans. Lucky us!

I just don't understand why the State won't let us keep pet monkeys!!

I'm glad you're all having a good time with this.

Don't you realize that this is how the zombie apocalypse begins?!

Mister Tee -- I had my gallbladder out in January, and was pretty pleased with the results. My surgeon was Dr. Kim Swartz from The Oregon Clinic, who operates at St. Vincent's.

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