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Saturday, May 24, 2008

As it's written in the Bible

"There is a time to give noogies, and a time to refrain from giving noogies."

Comments (3)

Great Presidential noogie quotes:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Noogies."

"So that a government of the noogie, by the noogie, for the noogie, shall not perish from this earth."

"The business of America is noogies."

"We have nothing to fear but noogies themselves."

"Uh, gotcha Karl baby. We might be giving up golf but no way we're giving up noogies."

"For God so loved the world, he gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting noogies."

I am shocked and outraged by the severity of the punishment for a mere noogie. Any schoolyard punk knows the groin kick defense to a noogie. Now, were it a wedgie, I'd lock him up and toss the key. On a female teacher, it might warrant sexual assault and lifetime notification. Beware the scarlet W.

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