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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on February 14, 2007 11:44 AM. The previous post in this blog was Revenge of the worker bees. The next post in this blog is While you're up. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Traveler's aid

A reader sends along this helpful advice for those who are on the road a lot in public transportation:

If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you on a plane, train or bus...

1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.

2. Remove your laptop.

3. Boot it.

4. Make sure the guy who won't leave you alone can see the screen.

5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky.

6. Then hit this link: http://www.thecleverest.com/countdown.swf

Comments (19)

With my luck, the irritating guy would be a jihadist.

oh I love it..

does anyone know what it says?

ROTFL.


Oh, that is soooo good!

Be sure to shout "Allahu Akhbhar!" This little site seems widely enjoyed, and no one seems to notice (or care) that it doesn't work without an internet connection, usually unavailable on the plane etc.

Wouldn't work, the Arabic is clearly gibberish. :-)

Actually, while it is, in fact, gibberish, most people probably wouldn't be able to tell...

the Arabic is clearly gibberish

It actually says Franken for Senate. Not gibberish at all.

Try that and win a free trip to Cuba!

Bask in the sun in laid-back Guantanamo, where time just seems to stand still.

(or care)

Could you download the animation? Actually, who cares?

7. Spend a week in jail.

Wow that's very funny! I'm glad we can still laugh in this post 9-11 world.

Yes, you can just download the animation to your computer. Then you can open it with your browser even if you're not on a network.

(In other news, I think I have a new idea for an April Fool's prank...)

This reminds of me of Penn & Teller's book "How To Play In Traffic"...

Even pre-9/11, Penn Gillette had to pepper their original version of this little "practical joke" with warning upon warning to "DO NOT TRY THIS, EVER".

Nowadays, when people can't tell a Lite-Brite of a cartoon character from a "bomb", this will likely get you classified as a "terrorist" faster than it takes for the countdown to reach 0:00:00.

and then hopefully a sky marshall sticks his gun in your ear!

We took the MAX from downtown to the Rose Quarter last night for a hockey game. The woman next to my 2.5 year old was visibly high (The City that Tweaks), while furiously devouring a fruit roll-up, with a half-rack of PBR sitting on her lap ("Real fruit's too expensive: I'm on a tight budget" she explained). The fellow next to me was missing half his teeth, smelled like he hadn't showered in a month, and had a plastic grocery bag full of library books.

A literate bum? Only in Portland.

Rose Quarter security made my son throw away the 6 ounce bottle of water he had in his mini-backpack. Fortunately, the sippy cup went undetected. Security, or just a great way of boosting bottled water sales? It's a lousy way to make a family on a budget feel welcome.

Memorial Colliseum was filled to 6% of capacity, by my calculations (add up all the paid staff and the two hockey teams, and they likely outnumbered the fans). After shelling out $17.50/adult and $5/kid, we got to watch a mediocre hockey match with very low entertainment value. We won't be back.

Luke is right except you go to jail after the other passengers get done kicking the stuffing out of you

"The woman was visibly high (The City that Tweaks)...The fellow next to me was missing half his teeth, smelled like he hadn't showered in a month..."

And to think that some people don't enjoy the MAX. Maybe Earl the Pearl (as our new US Senator) can get MAX extended out to my neighborhood, so I can enjoy the fine Portland citizens as well.

We took the MAX from downtown to the Rose Quarter last night for a hockey game. The woman next to my 2.5 year old was visibly high. . .while the fellow next to me was missing half his teeth, smelled like he hadn't showered in a month, and had a plastic grocery bag full of library books.

Mister Tee --

Are you upset that those people exist, or just that they're taking public transportation?

Hilarious!!! I'm going to try that on my next flight. I always get put next to people who never shut up. I swear I'm being punished for being a good listener.

Just wanted to share this with you all as well...enter in this code (MAXGUEST)on Hotel Deluxe's website (when you book a room) in the corporate rates section and get 15% off their best rate.
http://www.hoteldeluxeportland.com

I'm staying there this weekend with my wife and pooches..it works.

Miles:

I honestly don't care if people want to sit at home in their dirty underwear while smoking crack, eating fritos, and sucking
PBR through a straw. That's their business: to each their own.

When somebody that's high, mentally unstable, and/or wearing clothing soiled with feces climbs aboard MAX with their fritos and PBR, then it becomes my business. I do believe we can enforce minimum standards of personal hygiene and conduct if you want the PRIVILEDGE (not the right) to avail yourself of all public venues (aka libraries, public transit, parks, sidewalks). I also believe that business owners should be entitled to prohibit entry to anybody who doesn't meet the business owner's standards (i.e. No shirt, no shoes, No Service).

Public intoxication, public defecation/urination, possession of controlled substances and drug paraphenalia, public indecency are already against the law. If we augmented the "Downtown Clean and Safe" patrols with 30 uniformed PPB officers 24/7, then we could begin enforcing these laws once again. We would also require additional jail beds, but that's all the county's fault, right?


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In 2004: 204
In 2003: 269


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