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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on September 20, 2006 4:08 PM. The previous post in this blog was It's Tony's mom's birthday. The next post in this blog is Uh oh. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Zach's off the hook

He committed no crime in that hotel room. He's sorry, and he's been "look[ing] at his life circumstance," according to his lawyer, Steve Houze. Oh, and somebody tried to extort money from him as part of this incident -- that's an important fact, apparently. As for the Blazers, they're "undertaking appropriate steps to work with Zach and his representatives to ensure that he understands the expectations for conduct by all our players as representatives of this team and our city."

That's it for Jail Blazer news.

For now.

Comments (13)

My bet is that when all the sleazy details leak into the press it's going to make the Foxworth "sexual harassment" scandal look trivial in comparison.

If you believe John "you always know more than you can print" Canzano, the press has the sleazy details. If we haven't heard them by now, chances are we're not going to hear them at all.

The Blazers are taking steps to work with Zach "and his representatives"?

Am I the only one who thinks that part of the problem may be that there's anybody other than Zach and Blazers management involved in that conversation?

I love it when a grown man (?) gets into trouble and then has "representatives" that need somehow to be involved. Diaper washers, sycophants, hangers-on and low life, a pox on their house.

"undertaking appropriate steps to work with Zach and his representatives"

I think that means they have a call in to his agent.

Does anyone have a theory why Portland has the most ethically challenged team in the entirety and the utter and complete history of the NBA? We're stumped. Are we that bad? What gives?

Zach meet Bubba.

Bubba meet Zach.

Two accused rapists, whose images were splattered across front pages all over the country, and who were both later completely exonerated by law enforcement.

But, I hear Bubba actually HAS game, unlike our Zach, who couldn't jump over a Sunday newspaper.

These aren't the "full details," but they are scuzzy enough to raise eyebrows:

According to Schrunk's memo, the investigation showed that Randolph and a friend asked the alleged victim and another woman, who is Randolph's occasional sex partner, to perform a live sex show for them for $500. The people involved differed on whether the show was supposed to include actual sex between the two women but those interviewed agreed it only was simulated sex. The alleged victim, who had never met Randolph before, said she agreed to do the performance because she "needed the money."

After the show, according to the memo, Randolph was unhappy with the performance and refused to pay the alleged victim.

O.K. now we have the sleazy details. Estcasy, orgies, arranging a $1,000 lesbian sex show at the Vintage Plaza, sharing women with his buddy, scattering 400 $1 bills on a stage at a strip club in N.E. Portland. Looks like Zach has done a nice job of scattering his dirty laundry all over the place. Portland is a regular litter box for this guy. I thought it was a nice touch that while the investigation was pending, the Blazer's public relations clowns sent several dozen doughnuts around to all the precincts in town plus a large basketball shaped doughnut to Chief Sizer. This all sort of has a surreal quality to it when you consider that this is an NBA franchise that is actually supposedly trying to IMPROVE it's image these days.

"Randolph was unhappy with the performance and refused to pay the alleged victim."
This gives me a great idea to improve the Blazer performance at Basketball games. You purchase your ticket AFTER the game if you like their performance, but you refuse to play if you are unhappy with their performance.

Let's go with the flow on the Blazers and turn them into an entertainment package most suited to their talents.

"Paula Allen" introduces the game dressed as a drag queen and the "Blazer Strippers" (formerly dancers) come out and give the bump and grind (which the Blazers aren't very good at on the court anyhow.)

The scent of marijuana rises in the air and the team comes out racing around the court in a miniature Hummer until one of the strippers stops them, wearing only a "police hat." Mayhem ensues as the players all come out of the car dressed as clowns, with Coach Nate emerging as that ultimate funkster, George Clinton.

The game doesn't really matter at this point, it's all a circus. The other team plays along and wins by 65 points. But hey, the Blazers would have lost anyway.

At least this way the audience gets something for their money.


Patrick b,

Perhaps you are just too clever for your own good. Getting so caught up in your acrimonious wit, you imply "the audience gets something for their money" by witnessing the immaturely described scenario you present. Maybe "the audience" or God forbid, the fans, really do go to Blazer games to watch professional basketball. I am quite certain that no one in the Blazer audience would be happy to witness the silly scene you describe after paying good money for a ticket to a basketball game.

Your insulting references to the Blazer dancers as "Blazer Strippers" warrant a blackening of your eye. How many of the dancers do you know? Are you aware of their abilities to hold down full-time jobs, teach dancing professionally or in schools, and dance in a group with a demanding schedule that returns very meager monetary rewards? Do you know how strict the moral code is that they are expected to live up to on and off the court? Of course you don't.

And then you take a punch at Nate McMillan. Perhaps he most honorable man you could ever meet. He is doing everything in his power to try to bring honor to the Blazers. And it's working. The fact that you feel the need to turn him into "that ultimate funkster, George Clinton" only reveals your deep-seated prejudice. Why a funkster? Because he's black?

But after all, your prejudice permeates your cute little rant. Because you are judging the character of the entire team as it stands in 2006 on the despicable behavior of one current pathetic fool and some other past fools. Do I need to remind you that the host of this blog is a lawyer? Do you also condemn all lawyers on the bases of numerous unethical and even criminally negligent activities of some lawyers? (Oh, by the way, I'm married to one, so I know more stories than you will ever see printed in the papers or in this blog--stories that make Zach's stunts trivial)

In short, patrick b, grow up. It is of little concern to me whether you ever attend a Blazer game, buy a hat, or join the ranks of proud fans a few years down the road when the Blazers once again fill the Rose Garden and make it to the playoffs. But if you are going to comment on the team, at least take the time to learn who is on the roster this season and what degree of character they bring to Portland. Quit living in the past. It's just not funny anymore. Randolph is an embarrassment, but he is not the team.

And think before you write. You're only insulting the thousands in attendance on game day by stating; "At least this way the audience gets something for their money." Maybe this is something you would pay for. Not Blazer fans.

Alexander. It's in a green box and it's near the pharmacy counter. It says "Fleets" on the side. You need it...trust me.


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