While in the supermarket checkout line last night, I spied the latest issue of Portland Monthly. This publication has been with us for more than two years now, and it's made quite a little business out of surveys and lists that get people to buy it. Best 100 doctors in Portland, best 100 lawyers, best schools, best neighborhoods, etc. In some ways, it's a print comeback to blogging, I think. Rich people pick it up to see themselves in print without having to learn Blogger.
As you can tell, I've never been impressed. My name was in there once, but still I wouldn't pay for the thing. And although the Mrs. has brought home a few copies, the closest I get to buying one is leafing through it for free once in a while as I'm waiting to pay for groceries. (They sent a guy out to interview me a few months back, but nothing ever came of it. I might have bought a copy or two for the archives if something had. See? Their marketing plan works.)
Anyway, so there I am last night. I see from the cover that this month, they've got the 25 top movers and shakers of 2005, or some such title. O.k., I'll take the bait.
I don't have to turn many pages to see where this is going: Homer Williams. The head of nursing at OHSU. The Ripe people. Arlene Schnitzer...
Just then it's my turn to get my chicken strips up onto the belt, and it's just as well. I've seen enough. I'm sure Randy Gragg must be in there somewhere. How depressing. Next time I think I'll go back to just staring at the Tic Tacs.
Portland Monthly needs a subtitle. "Official Magazine of the Recent Cal Transplant Condo Dweller"? Nah, too long. How about "Chronicling the Downfall of a Nice Little City"? "An Alternative to Critical Thinking"? "Of the Pearl, by the Pearl, for the Pearl"? Come on, readers, help me out.