Of garbage and sustenance (Jack Bog's Blog)

"What's in a name? That which we call garbage by any other name would still smell."

That was an actual line in a play in which I performed in high school. A sweet young lady from one of the nearby girls' high schools -- Pat Kelly, I think it was -- delivered the line quite well. I believe it may have been in "Tom Jones." Anyway, I was reminded of that theatrical observation today when we got this in the mail:

It's the occasional garbage and recycling newsletter that we get from the City of Portland. This time around, they're alerting us to a rate increase for refuse hauling. Hey, with $60-a-barrel crude, you know that's coming.

So many newsletters from the city. You wonder how many millions of dollars a year we spend on these things. Jobs for the "creative class," I guess. ("Creative" in the sense of, can't spell "peek.") But what struck me most about this one was where it came from: the city's "Office of Sustainable Development." Is that what the sanitation department is called now?

I notice, too, that the Water Bureau has changed its return address to "Utilities," perhaps to try to make us all forget how badly the city has been running the one real utility that it already has. (Meanwhile, we get ready to spend billions to buy and "improve" another one. Cue "The Impossible Dream.")

Anyway, perhaps we should rename some other city bureaus, just to keep that lovin' feelin' goin' on. The Fire Bureau should rid itself of the negative connotation of its current name -- maybe "Office of Unscorched Living" would be better. The Transportation Office could go with something like "Freedom of Movement Corps." Elections is already "Voter-Owned," so that's taken care of. Environmental Services might be a toughie to re-moniker -- it's already so green-sounding -- but "Office of Feces-Free Fisheries (OFFF)" could have some potential. O.k., no it doesn't.

Comments (5)

Wouldn't it be nice to get a water bill with a sticky note on it that says "we are lowering your rates 2% because we are no longer sending out nonsensical pamphlets that nobody reads anyway"?

Posted by Dave Lister | June 30, 2005 7:37 AM

Think in terms of a hippie that read the Whole Earth Catalog and then finds a home in the legislature. It is a bus full of ideas about a new man . . . none of which seem to acknowledge the elementary reality assumed in economics that man aways wants more no matter how much they already have and man always wants more than their neighbor.

See Ted's Executive Order 03-03

And resulting report:

A Sustainable Oregon for the 21 Century

Oregon Sustainability Act at Chapter 918 Oregon Laws 2001 and ORS 184.421.

And see PSU and UofO.

It is a whole new profession, it seems to be -- sustainability.

Posted by Ron Ledbury | June 30, 2005 10:19 AM

How about for Planning: "Creative Class Habitat Administration"?

Posted by Jack Bog | June 30, 2005 11:22 AM

Habitat? Are you thinking of the human version of a rat cage, complete with the spinning rat treadmill for a little exercise?

We can all be like the fish in a closed-system design or like the folks who sat for a year in a cage to test the design of a closed loop system to prepare for living in bubble in outer space.

I suppose it might be cost effective for Portland to buy a well-known ranch in Eastern Oregon and then invite the creative class to build their habitat, but keep it to themselves. They can post their results on the internet in a report for all to enjoy, and have live video, where the viewers retain a perspective that is clearly outside the cage looking in.

The test bed for social engineering experiments should not be a compulsory thing. Do you feel like YOU are inside the cage, and that the experimenters are the ones that are OUTSIDE? You better hop on that treadmill or they might think something is not working and inflict an electric shock or something to keep you motivated.

Posted by Ron Ledbury | June 30, 2005 12:30 PM

>Wouldn't it be nice to get a water bill with a sticky note on it that says "we are lowering your rates 2% because we are no longer sending out nonsensical pamphlets that nobody reads anyway"?>Wouldn't it be nice to get a water bill with a sticky note on it that says "we are lowering your rates 2% because we are no longer sending out nonsensical pamphlets that nobody reads anyway"?

Hot-button issue for me, as well. Nobody reads their crap, so don't send it and save us some money! Oh, and while I'm on a rant, here: Yo! You dorks at Kaiser! Quit wasting money on those stupid tv ads that feature some Klingon telling us to "Live long and prosper"! Put that cash back into the main job, which in case you've forgotten, is providing health care to the folks who pay the bills!

I'm sick of the whole thing - why do governmental agencies and healthcare providers feel it neccessary to waste thousands of dollars on marketing and creativity? Just provide the freakin' services! Idiots....

Thanks, I feel much better now...

Posted by Jay | June 30, 2005 5:16 PM

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Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Of garbage and sustenance

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